Please correct my English...

muxec · October 29, 2003, 16:49

I have troubles taking my university course (English for foreighners) and i need to write an official letter... Please correct my English.... Here is my letter full of mistakes... BTW, the header is on the right, simply can not format it with VB-code.

Quote:

To: Department of English language studies of Bar-Ilan University.
To: Dr. Brenda Oded.
From MyReal_Name(Passport ID *********)
Subject: English as foreign language course.
I did bagrut exams this year and I got high bagrut grades that allowed me to study in The Bar-Ilan University without psychometrics grade. According to the new law of Ministry of Education the psychometrics exam is not required for students with average bagrut grade 110 or higher. I can not get my mitzraf grades before December 2003.
Today I contacted to secretary of Department of English language studies of Bar-Ilan University to select my course. After my explanation of my right to study even without psychometrics I was informed that I’m in huge trouble.

1. I’m not allowed to drop my English course due to inexistence of my psychometrics grade.
2. I’m not allowed to take English course as long as I do not have psychometrics or “Amir” grade.
3. I can not be tested before December. “Amir” is the only exam used for “sorting” and I can not do internal exam of university instead of “Amir”.

Department of Study Programs refused to confirm my study program without English course or written permission to drop it. I’m losing my right to be educated. Please help me.

muxec · October 29, 2003, 16:52

Explanations:
Bagrut - hebrew name of main exam.
Psychometrics - Israeli way of legal extortion. Shows nothing but it's almost required for university.
Amir - English part of psichometrics exam

Japher · October 29, 2003, 17:03

I'm no English major, or grammar wizard, but I gave it a shot... Perhaps some other well versed individuals could be of better assistance. I did take some liberty in the wording.

Oh, and what is Mitzraf?

---
I took the Bagrut exams this year and got a high grade that allowed me to study in The Bar-Ilan University without the Psychometrics grade. According to the new law from the Ministry of Education the Psychometrics exam is not required for students with an average Bagrut grade of 110 or higher. I am unable to get my Mitzraf grades before December 2003.

Today I contacted the secretary of the Department of English Language Studies at Bar-Ilan University to select my course. After my explanation of my right to study even without Psychometrics I was informed that I am in huge trouble due to the fact that:

1. I’m not allowed to drop my English course due to a nonexistent Psychometrics grade.
2. I’m not allowed to take an English course as long as I do not have a Psychometrics or “Amir” grade.
3. I cannot be tested before December. “Amir” is the only exam used for “sorting”, and I cannot perform an internal exam for the university in lieu of the “Amir” exam.

The Department of Study Programs refuses to confirm my study program unless I am enrolled in an English course or have written permission to drop the English course.

I feel that I am losing my right to be educated. Please help me.

Japher · October 29, 2003, 17:07

Quote:

Today I contacted the secretary of the Department of English Language Studies

Are they the Secretary, as in a specific title, or are they just a secretary? I would probably change that to

"Today I contacted the secretary at the Department..."

unless their specific title is "secretary", but then I would put it as

"Today I contacted the Secretary of The Department..."

lord of the mark · October 29, 2003, 17:11

To The department of Anglo-Saxon studies, the frum University.
To Dr. Brenda Oded
From: a guy with a complaint.

What kind of Bolshevik country is this, with all these ridiculous, pettifogging regulations?!?!? And you,a teacher of English IE a civilized culture, in an Orthodox (IE a non-Bolshevik) university, should put up with such things? Outrageous!!!

If you dont want me to call my uncle's neighbor's son at the Ministry of Education, you should handle this immediately.

Shalom Rav.

Japher · October 29, 2003, 17:14

@LotM

Hueij · October 29, 2003, 18:16

Just wondering, don't they use definite articles in the Israeli language? I also noticed that Stefu (who is a master in using English) misses out on them too, so I guess it's the same in Finnish?

lord of the mark · October 29, 2003, 18:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Hueij
Just wondering, don't they use definite articles in the Israeli language? I also noticed that Stefu (who is a master in using English) misses out on them too, so I guess it's the same in Finnish?

Ha!

Hueij · October 29, 2003, 18:30

Quote:

Originally posted by lord of the mark

Ha!

Huh???

FrustratedPoet · October 29, 2003, 19:11

What Japher wrote looks good to me.

You say that your Bagrut grades were high, but were they over 110? I assume they were... and if so then you should probably say exactly what grade you got so everything is clear.

I also agree that it would help us make sense of that paragraph a little more if we knew what "mitzraf" grades are.

And I'm not sure I'd post my full name and passport number on a public forum if I were you....

muxec · October 30, 2003, 02:38

2Frustrated, sure, my name was removed, i do not really want some of apolytonians knowing my name or Passp ID.

2Japher, thank you.

Nubclear · October 30, 2003, 03:02

Quote:

Originally posted by muxec
2Frustrated, sure, my name was removed, i do not really want some of apolytonians knowing my name or Passp ID.

2Japher, thank you.

To Frustrated: Sure, my name was was removed. I really don't want some Apolytonians knowing my name or Passport ID.

To Japher: Thank you.

Asher · October 30, 2003, 03:07

Quote:

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
To Frustrated: Sure, my name was was removed. I really don't want some Apolytonians knowing my name or Passport ID.

To Japher: Thank you.

To Frustrated: Yes, my name was removed. I really don't want some Apolytoners knowing my name or Passport ID.

To Japher: Thank you.

alva · October 30, 2003, 04:54

So you do want a couple od Apolytoners to know your name ID?

muxec · October 30, 2003, 05:59

Ming please delete this thread....

lord of the mark · October 30, 2003, 11:03

Quote:

Originally posted by Hueij

Huh???

the hebrew direct object, usually translated as "the" is "ha" EG Ani rotzah halikud" would be "i want the likud"

I couldnt resist posting ha to see what response i got.