The Ten Commandments - How Are We Doing?

Rufus T. Firefly · November 1, 2003, 01:36

Inspired by Veyasen's "Does God Hate Me" thread, I thought I'd check in and see how well Apolyton's doing with God's Law. Me, I've made it to the ripe old age of 40 managing to keep only numbers 2, 6, and 9 (and maybe 1; technically, I haven't put any other gods before God, but it's not like I pay a lot of attention to Him, either). How 'bout you?

Oh, and I know the Commandments vary from text to text; I'm using the King James Bible here, because that's what God gave Charlton Heston.

Spiffor · November 1, 2003, 01:48

I never killed, never commited adultery, never stole (well, I have "extensively borrowed" but there was no stealing intent), never bore false witness as far as I can tell, and I didn't exactly covet for my neighbour's 80yearold wife

Kuciwalker · November 1, 2003, 02:08

EDIT: n/m

St Leo · November 1, 2003, 02:40

I am the LORD thy God...thou shalt have none other gods before me.

Have fun being digested in the Bottomless Pit hiding behind Cthulhu's MAW.

Thou shalt not make thee any graven image...thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them

Sorry, I like to doodle.

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain

Actually, I do my best to follow this one. No sense in giving falsehoods free advertising.

Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it

Don't tell me what to do and I won't tell you what to do.

Honour thy father and thy mother

Make me.

Thou shalt not kill

This one's rather hard. Either my immune system murders bacteria or bacteria murder my immune system. Very hard to avoid killing.

Neither shalt thou commit adultery

I'll be as adult as I want and you can go join the infantry for all I care.

Neither shalt thou steal

I don't think I've ever stolen, but the RIAA is bound to disagree on that.

Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour

I've never borne false witness and I will never bear false witness. Oh, crap. Now, I am doomed to only be able to break nine out of ten islamojudeochristian commandments.

Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's

Go 1984 yourself, thought cop.

For I am the LORD thy God; come, tally me banana

No, I am the LORD thy God; prove me wrong.

Nubclear · November 1, 2003, 02:49

1
2
3
6
7
10

Mr. Nice Guy · November 1, 2003, 03:02

Well, I haven't managed to keep any of them, except for killing. Since I became a Christian more than 6 years ago, I've done a lot better job of keeping these commandments. For the last year or so, I've been staying clean as far as 7 of these commandments are concerned. I'm still working to improve on three of them; I won't say which three, but I am making great progress!

Jon Miller · November 1, 2003, 03:09

I try to keep them all

my views on keeping the Sabbath have changed, but I am wondering if I am still keeping it properly?

I have not murdered anyone

but I have gotten angry in the past (not so much now days)

anyways, I am not sure what to say

Jon Miller

Spiffor · November 1, 2003, 03:13

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Nice Guy
I'm still working to improve on three of them

My money is on respect to parents, adultery, and coveting the neighbour's possessions

Nubclear · November 1, 2003, 03:33

And the ten commandments are pretty nice, BUT....

I don't believe God sent them. Sorry

aneeshm · November 1, 2003, 06:05

I'm not Christian(I'm Hindu , BTW) , but I try to follow those commandments that apply to all .

Thoth · November 1, 2003, 06:09

Quote:

Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar
And the ten commandments are pretty nice, BUT....

I don't believe God sent them. Sorry

What?

If God didn't send them, how did Moses the Mason get them carved onto stone tablets?

Starchild · November 1, 2003, 07:06

What definition of killing are we using for number 6?

Nubclear · November 1, 2003, 07:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Thoth

What?

If God didn't send them, how did Moses the Mason get them carved onto stone tablets?

I didn't know we had found the "original" tablets.

nato · November 1, 2003, 07:48

Generally, this list of commandments comes in one of two types:

1. Incredibly obvious, like don't kill or steal. If you need special rules from god to help you on basics like this, you're in trouble.

2. Incredibly silly, like honor something called "the sabbath" or don't covet your neighbor's ox or ass. If you find such obscure anachronisms helpful, again you're in trouble.

So as a guideline for how to act, the ten commandments are essentially useless. You might as well consult the magic eight ball.

But thats about all you can expect if you're taking cues from a mythology created thousands of years ago in a place thousands or miles away. It is too far seperated in time, culture, and reality to be helpful.

uh Clem · November 1, 2003, 07:49

I've never understood keeping the Sabbath; does it go bad?

Like Jimmy Carter, I've committed adultery only in my heart. Of course, I was helped by the fact that none of my marriages has ever lasted long enough for me to have an affair.

Also, I haven't killed anybody, even when I was in the Army and we were at war. And even if I did have a god, I doubt that I'd make a graven image, so I'm okay on #2. No false witness that comes to mind, but don't hold me to that. Other than those, I flunk.

If your neighbor were J Lo, would it be okay to covet her ass?

Sandman · November 1, 2003, 08:31

I stole some of my flatmate's ketchup to put on a bacon sandwich the other day. And I stole some lollipops from a pub once.

DanielXY · November 1, 2003, 08:46

you are a very bad boy sandman

Sandman · November 1, 2003, 08:50

The Devil made me do it!

JohnT · November 1, 2003, 09:11

[i]I am the LORD thy God...thou shalt have none other gods before me.[i]

I've might've put God on the backburner, but I never cared enough to actually contemplate believing in another God, so I'm OK here.

Thou shalt not make thee any graven image...thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them

Well, I was raised Catholic.

But seriously, yeah, sure, whatever. So what's with all the crosses?

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain

Guilty.

Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it

GUILTY!

Honour thy father and thy mother

And I will argue that reciprococity (sp?) is a principle that must be applied here.

Thou shalt not kill

Gotcha.

Neither shalt thou commit adultery

Natch.

Neither shalt thou steal

I served my time!

Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour

Why lie when well timed revelations of the truth is more effective?

Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's

[blatant troll] Fortunately for me, I live in a capitalistic society where I can earn the things that I desire, without bothering my neighbor in the least. Thank you God for your help in creating a society where wealth can be earned and not just stolen. [/blatant troll]

Bereta_Eder · November 1, 2003, 12:26

I am the LORD thy God...thou shalt have none other
gods before me.

SAys who? Be relevant please.

Thou shalt not make thee any graven image...thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them

I don't bow generally, bad things may come of it. But I di respect thy own Icons now and then. (hehe, get it "thy" to sound more biblical in anglais)

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain

I'm so guilty about that and I apologize.

Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it

what?

Honour thy father and thy mother

of course

Thou shalt not kill

no i shall not

Neither shalt thou commit adultery

eh, ok

Neither shalt thou steal

check

Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour

if my neigboor breaks my balls I'll burry him anyway, sorry

Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's

definitely not his ass

For I am the LORD thy God; come, tally me banana
?

Dr Strangelove · November 1, 2003, 13:30

Well, about 23% of those who have answered the poll didn't check off the "Thou shall not kill" box. I'm curious to hear the stories behind their answers.

Urban Ranger · November 1, 2003, 13:44

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Well, about 23% of those who have answered the poll didn't check off the "Thou shall not kill" box. I'm curious to hear the stories behind their answers.

See St Leo's answer, for example.

JohnT · November 1, 2003, 13:46

Quote:

Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Well, about 23% of those who have answered the poll didn't check off the "Thou shall not kill" box. I'm curious to hear the stories behind their answers.

I'd tell ya'... but then I'd have to kill ya. See the bind I'm in?

MrFun · November 1, 2003, 13:47

Quote:

Originally posted by St Leo

Thou shalt not kill

This one's rather hard. Either my immune system murders bacteria or bacteria murder my immune system. Very hard to avoid killing.

Yep -- and I have also killed lord knows HOW many insects over the years.

Q Classic · November 1, 2003, 22:42

well, ****. if you'd asked this yesterday, i would have been able to check off the not killing one.

****, how do get rid of this blood? **** **** **** **** ****.

Immortal Wombat · November 1, 2003, 23:01

I am the LORD thy God...thou shalt have none other gods before me.
This also includes money and so forth as Gods. It technically means putting God first and foremost in your life at all times. The no other beings of worship comes under point two. So all the people who made comments about not paying God attention etc... SINNERS! (oh yeah, and this includes me.)

Thou shalt not make thee any graven image...thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them
Check

Idolitry isn't one of my sins, except once or twice in jest.

Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain
Kept this one faithfully 'til I was about 16 I guess, then wavered a little bit. Try to keep to it though, since I find proper swear words much more effective. Oddly, I use it more in type than in speech.

Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it
I spent the last two years working Sundays.

Honour thy father and thy mother
Yeah, pretty much. Couple of crying incidents, but nothing that'll send me hellbound.

Thou shalt not kill
I always read this as "thou shalt not kill another human". So no, never tried that. In fact, I would think the largest thing I've killed is probably a mosquito. Maybe a stickleback. I still feel guilty about that grasshopper though. If only I'd let him out the window, maybe his corpse wouldn't have ended up lying on my desk.

Neither shalt thou commit adultery
Would that the oppor... er... No.

Neither shalt thou steal
I've stolen very little actual things. Several Gigs of music cripple me on this one though.

Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.
Lying... Hmm. Yes, of course I've lied. Although I don't recall doing so maliciously, and very rarely as a genuine attempt at deception. Usually I tell the truth within the span of the same conversation as the lie, apologising and admitting my lie more or less straight away.

Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's
Envy. Sure, a little. Not material goods usually, but traits or opportunities. Or do I covet a wife,house,field,manservant,ox,ass of my own like the one my neighbour has? I don't want to deny my neighbour these things just because I want them as well. I don't know. My shallow teenage materialism is mostly out of my system now anyway.

SlowwHand · November 1, 2003, 23:04

Quote:

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
Inspired by Veyasen's "Does God Hate Me" thread, I thought I'd check in and see how well Apolyton's doing with God's Law. Me, I've made it to the ripe old age of 40 managing to keep only numbers 2, 6, and 9 (and maybe 1; technically, I haven't put any other gods before God, but it's not like I pay a lot of attention to Him, either). How 'bout you?

Oh, and I know the Commandments vary from text to text; I'm using the King James Bible here, because that's what God gave Charlton Heston.

What do you care? You're going to Hell anyway.

Zkribbler · November 1, 2003, 23:30

Ah. I see you're using the Protestant version of the Ten Commandments. Which Ten Commandments

SlowwHand · November 1, 2003, 23:42

Never heard nor seen anything about the alleged 2nd tablet.
That must be the one the Palestinian's stole.

Nope. Not around then.

grumbler · November 1, 2003, 23:48

I don't have a problem with having no 'gods' before the Y-man, but I did swat a fly today.