Apolyton Needs its own Religion !

Uncle Sparky · November 4, 2003, 05:06

... and this is it !

The Theocracy of the United Good

Our is a religious state, ruled by a Pope (known simply as "Uncle") with an Anti-Pope acting as a friendly "leader of the opposition". While there is no general suffrage, the College of the Brethren rule to the point of micromanaging the economy.

The actual theology of the United good is open to extreme personal interpretation. Our sacred texts were originally written over 3,000 years ago in a long dead language and translations of many passages vary, often expressing the personal biases of the translators. Rather then undergo schisms (like our Christian neighbors) our early religious leaders decided to embrace the differences not fight over them. Our creation parables (for example) can be interpreted to mean that we are ruled by one God who created everything (this interpretation is believed by approx. 30% of the population as per our last census), or ruled my many Gods who created some of the things (and each other) and left humanity to create other stuff (this is believed by approx. 58% of the population)... and of course there are other interpretations too ! We also have no problem with individuals from our society also belonging to other faiths, as long as they remain part of ours too.

This system has allowed our citizens to be extremely tolerant of differences. Generally the only thing we are intolerant about is prejudice, and we prefer to educate those who are bigots rather then punish them.

While we don't actively send missionaries to other lands, we are more then willing to have others accept our religion as there own. States with sizable United Good populations will be granted a seat in the College of the Brethren. (which will meet here at Apolyton).

Uncle Sparky · November 4, 2003, 06:09

I should point out that due to the multitude of interpretations of various religious texts, our religion can be effective for any type of state.

The parable of The Slave of Two Masters for instance has been interpreted by our various scholars to mean :
a) Slavery is always evil. Slave owners are evil.
b) Slavery is necessary for a good economy. So is child labour. Slaves must obey, or die.
c) Workers should always control the means of production.
d) Radishes should never be eaten on Tuesdays.

This one parable is interpreted in our own land to mean a) Slavery is always evil. Slave owners are evil. (by slightly under 95% of our population as per the last census.), though 15% of the populace do try to avoid radishes on Tuesdays.

So, this is a religion we can all enjoy !

Squeblish Nef? · November 4, 2003, 17:27

Maybe our pal Sheepy may be interested in a consignment of servants of the United Good...

Rasputin · November 4, 2003, 18:02

Religous missionaries were accepted into the land of Auldoninna and a new church was set up for them. The locals soon begun to alter the original rites and creeds to suit themselves and soon all priests were naked like the rest of Auldoninna and it became a weekly ritual that all the zeolots would get drunk on holy wine and party long into the night listening to old fashioned music from the ancient days (1980's)

Uncle Sparky · November 4, 2003, 21:42

The Church of the United Good welcomes the most exuburant people of Auldoninna into the fold. May we suggest that you exclude candles from your rites. (Hot wax hurts.)

Squeblish Nef? · November 4, 2003, 22:02

Just give me a general estimate on this, please.
Approximately how any of you United Goodish types have something against being burnt at the stake?

Rasputin · November 5, 2003, 06:02

The Auldonina government encourages religious activity as it takes the minds of the proletariat off the running of the country which is was too much thinking for them.

We look forward to next weeks session of church as the Young nubile Virgins are singing round the bonfire.

FlameFlash · November 5, 2003, 10:40

Draconious enforces it's right to begin executing relgious worshippers at any time but as of yet welcomes the new church with...

...not a tank.

FlameFlash · November 5, 2003, 10:41

Krystalis could care less... the beuracratic government is already so laden with duties that it doesn't even notice the arrival of the new church.

reismark · November 5, 2003, 16:33

Freedom of religion is one of the many hallmarks of the Commonwealth of Alien Races. While the government will not endorse any religion over another, it's likely that your beliefs will gradually find their way into our society.

Giovanni Wine · November 5, 2003, 17:40

The first followers of the new Religion have built their first church, named Saint Sparky, in the vicinity of Barolo.
However the Wine gov't promotes freedom of religion and will not endorse this, or any other religion as "official" religion.

Being said that, it will be hard for the United Goodish followers to manage to spread their religion around the country, since over 96% of the people (as well as the Royal Family) follows Catholicism.

Saluti

Uncle Sparky · November 6, 2003, 02:57

Quote:

Originally posted by FlameFlash
Draconious enforces it's right to begin executing relgious worshippers at any time but as of yet welcomes the new church with...

...not a tank.

The first Church of the United Good opens in the Draconian capitol city. It is named for the early Martyred St. Suicidus, patron Saint of Pacifists Wishing to be Killed by Their Government. The church finds substantial converts mostly amongst manic/depressives, teenagers and alcoholics.

The government will likely find that our church will keep these types busy and "out of trouble". Should the government decide to knock off a few of them every now and then, this would probably make the rest happy (if a little jealous).

GeneralTacticus · November 6, 2003, 02:59

Apolyton - hell, the whole of humanity - needs a new religion like a fish needs a new bicycle.

Sheep · November 6, 2003, 03:06

The Sheepstan relgion is simple.

Sundays - This is the day of sacrafice. Blood of innocent virgins must be give to the Great Sheep of the Sky
Mondays - The day of consumption. People must partake in alchol and the flesh of Sunday's sacrafices.
Tuesdays - People must cut themsevles once in front of a houshold ritualistic altar
Wednesdays - **** all happens here
Thursdays - **** all happens here
Fridays - They must spend 3 hours praying to the great Sheep in the Sky this night.
Saturdays - Selction of Sundays sacrafices.

Uncle Sparky · November 6, 2003, 03:14

Quote:

Originally posted by Giovanni Wine
The first followers of the new Religion have built their first church, named Saint Sparky, in the vicinity of Barolo.
However the Wine gov't promotes freedom of religion and will not endorse this, or any other religion as "official" religion.

Being said that, it will be hard for the United Goodish followers to manage to spread their religion around the country, since over 96% of the people (as well as the Royal Family) follows Catholicism.

Saluti

It soon becomes common knowledge in Barolo that St. Sparky is named after the United Good's early missionary Saint Sparky de Vino, a foreigner to our lands and himself an ardent Catholic. St Sparky deVino preached being Catholic as well as being United Good and drinking wine at least three times a day was the best way to achieve eternal happyness. The first few who attend services at St. Sparky discover it is not dissimilar to the churches they has previously attended; the biggest difference seems to be the generous servings of a very nice vintage sacrament and a really yummy host.

Uncle Sparky · November 6, 2003, 03:20

Missionary groups from the United Good arrive in both The Free Republic of Krystalis and the Commonwealth of Alien Races and begin to find converts.

Uncle Sparky · November 6, 2003, 03:30

GeneralTacticus : I am unaware of which land you govern. I could send you some followers of St. Pedocod, an early church father and Patron Saint of Cycling Fish. Their masses are held outdoors and involves cycling in ornate pattens while nibbling on herring crackers; the service is steeped in symbolism; the herring is steeped in brine.

Sheep : May I suggest that followers of St. Angus MacDougall, Patron Saint of Sheep (and those who love them) be sent to your land. St. Angus MacDougall was a later missionary saint who had an extreme fondess for sheep, especially a merino ewe named Daisy. He brought a large number of sheep into the United Good fold and gave a whole new meaning to the scriptural phrase "washed in the blood of the lamb."
Followers of St. Angus MacDougall would probably enjoy incorperating elements of your current religious cycle into theirs.

Sheep · November 6, 2003, 07:13

Sheepsta shall follow its own relgions.

Micha · November 6, 2003, 08:49

The Sultanat of Celth is an atheist police state. Any missionaries found will be executed. Thank you for your attention.

(PS: Due to the recent anti-religion laws all missionary work is prohibited on penalty of death. While the individual believes are free, they are not allowed to be expressed in public by behaviour, celebrations, clothing, food or anything else. Since this cuts off most religion´s bases, the government hopes to achieve total atheism within a few years.)

Mr. President · November 6, 2003, 19:52

There is no official religion in Karakas, but most religions can be found there.

Uncle Sparky · November 7, 2003, 02:49

Missionaries from the Sisters of Madonna Material Girl arrive in the Corporate Nation of Karakas and set up several really nice boutique/churches that do thriving business/conversions especially amongst the nouveau riche.

Missionaries from the Atheist Brotherhood of the United Good (ABUG) are dispatched to the Sultanate of Celth. This order, founded by a group of defrocked clerics over 800 years ago, preach absolute subservience to the state, total conformity and the steadfast belief in nothing. Currently 60% of all United Good's atheists and agnostics follow the ABUG teachings (or lack thereof)

Uncle Sparky · July 31, 2004, 22:53

... since Brother Damien is in the cruise thread, I thought this thread should be resurrected to enlighten neophytes to Apolyton ....

... and maybe get a few more recruits for The United Good !

Squeblish Nef? · August 1, 2004, 06:25

Listen, if you don't get off my doorstep and away from these premises, I will be forced to release Test Batch #431NC on you, and you would not like that!

Uncle Sparky · August 2, 2004, 01:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Squeblish Nef?
Listen, if you don't get off my doorstep and away from these premises, I will be forced to release Test Batch #431NC on you, and you would not like that!

See above post re: St. Suicidus.

Kuciwalker · August 2, 2004, 01:35

The Church of the Banana.

Mr. President · August 2, 2004, 01:50

The United Good is cool

Squeblish Nef? · August 2, 2004, 03:35

Quote:

Originally posted by Uncle Sparky
See above post re: St. Suicidus.

Could you send me a quota for chemical testing purposes?