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Old November 16, 2003, 23:16   #121
Boris Godunov
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Granted. Say hello to death.

I wish you'd all appreciate me for my precious, delicate inner beauty.
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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Old November 16, 2003, 23:16   #122
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EDIT: damn xposts
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Old November 16, 2003, 23:21   #123
Boris Godunov
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But your original almost worked for mine, oddly enough...
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Old November 16, 2003, 23:21   #124
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Granted. We strap you to a metal table and appreciate your precious, delicate inner beauty with a scalpel.

I wish everyone had a board with a nail in it.
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Old November 16, 2003, 23:32   #125
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Granted, but you become the cudgel quality tester.

I wish that me and my girlfriend could spend an entire weekend together on an island, alone.
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Old November 16, 2003, 23:32   #126
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xposts AGAIN!

Granted, but you are eaten by sharks.

I wish I could be ruler of a vast empire.
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Old November 17, 2003, 00:03   #127
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Grantd. You ar now rulr of Thm, which is schduld to b nukd by th US tomorrow.

I wish my "" ky would gt unstuck
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Old November 17, 2003, 00:15   #128
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Granted, but your KY is so unsticky it gets all over your shirt, thus making you unloveable

I wish I were black
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Old November 17, 2003, 00:17   #129
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Granted. You now live in Philly.

I wish I could forsee all of my exam questions.
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Old November 17, 2003, 00:37   #130
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Quote:
Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
Granted. The turkey isn't dead yet though.


I wish for a good night of sleep.

Man, you screwed up that Corruption. Anyone want to help IW out?
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"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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Old November 17, 2003, 01:27   #131
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Granted. You get given the most perfect Turkey sandwich known to mankind. Unfortunately you are in hospital and not allowed to eat or drink anything. The nurse eats the sandwich in front of you.

I wish I had a bottle of every bourbon brand ever made in my house. And plenty of coke to mix with it.
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Old November 17, 2003, 01:42   #132
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Granted, you are found dead of alchohol poisoning the next day.

I wish that Porters and Stouts didn't have all the calories, but yet still tasted as good as they do!
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Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
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Old November 17, 2003, 01:55   #133
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They don't have all the calories Just most of them. You get really fat and die

I wish my IQ was higher!
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Old November 17, 2003, 02:32   #134
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Unfortunately, the computer they attach to your brain shuts down your libido. You are now a eunech (spelling?). .

I wish my wife had triplets instead of just one little girl (please note she doesn't go here) .
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The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
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Old November 17, 2003, 02:35   #135
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.........your wife has triplets

I wish everyone died.
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Old November 17, 2003, 06:02   #136
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Heaven sucks. You are tormented for eternity.


I wish for it to snow tomorrow.
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Old November 17, 2003, 06:10   #137
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It turns out global warming was a sham. The new ice age begins.

I wish leaves didn't need to be raked off of lawns.
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The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
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Old November 17, 2003, 06:23   #138
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They don't. Huge masses of mutant earth worms appear, munch off the leaves and produce fertile soil. Unfortunately, they eat anything leafy and green.

I wish I would find a diamond mine tomorrow.
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Old November 17, 2003, 06:25   #139
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All trees on earth suddenly cease to exist. While you don't need to rake leaves off lawns anymore, oxygen sure is difficult to get nowadays.

EDIT: You find a diamond mine - in your neighbour's backyard. He is now rich beyond your wildest dreams. Meanwhile, you are still penniless.

I wish to rule an interplanetary empire.
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Old November 17, 2003, 06:44   #140
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Web-based or on your PC

I wish I could program instinctively in any computer language I choose.
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Old November 17, 2003, 07:46   #141
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I wish I could program instinctively in any computer language I choose.
granted, unfortunatly the next day you lose you eye sight when a mugger decides to beat you with a baseball bat.

I wish I was more powerful (not stronger, powerful)
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Old November 17, 2003, 08:28   #142
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Quote:
Originally posted by Space05us


I wish I was more powerful (not stronger, powerful)
Granted.....unfortunately you now have so many powers that you cannot decide what powers to use at what time. Eventually you go crazy and spend the rest of your life in an asylum.

I wish I had the time to do all the things I want to do.
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Old November 17, 2003, 08:34   #143
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Granted: Due the horrific mauling of your groinal region by demented ardvarks the disability checks leave your with the ability to do so much!

I wish I didn't have any kindergarten classes to teach
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Old November 17, 2003, 08:37   #144
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I wish I didn't have any kindergarten classes to teach
granted, all of the kids below the age of 7 mysteriously disappear without a trace. and no one in the world is able to give birth. Humans eventually become extinct.

I wish I were a super hero
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Old November 17, 2003, 09:02   #145
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Granted. Your superpower is insanity - the criminals never know what you will do next to catch them.


I wish PCs were free.
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Old November 17, 2003, 09:06   #146
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Granted. Unfortunately, they can now only run Windows ME.

I wish I had a fluent knowledge of every language on Earth.
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Old November 17, 2003, 09:10   #147
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Quote:
all of the kids below the age of 7 mysteriously disappear without a trace. and no one in the world is able to give birth.
So let me get this straight:
1. All the annoying little brats disappear and I don't have to herd them anymore.
2. I don't have to worry about about birth control anymore.
3. Earth's environment is saved.

This is a corrupted wish how?
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Old November 17, 2003, 09:13   #148
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This is a corrupted wish how?
it assumes you care about the preservation of humans.
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Old November 17, 2003, 10:44   #149
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I wish I had a fluent knowledge of every language on Earth.
Granted. However, this includes all the animals and insects, and you are driven mad by the constant mosquite chatter of "I'mlookingforbloodI'mlookingforbloodI'mlookingforb lood..."

I wish I had the power of flight.
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Old November 17, 2003, 11:36   #150
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I wish I had the power of flight.
granted, your brand new Boeing 747 drops on top of your house killing all of its occupants.

I wish everyone could just get along
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