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Old November 25, 2003, 23:29   #1
Commie Chocobo
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I Need Jokes!!
does anyone know any origional jokes, preferably funny ones.
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Old November 25, 2003, 23:33   #2
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Original?

Three men walk into a bar; a rapist, a child molestor, a preist, and two other guys...
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Old November 26, 2003, 00:27   #3
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DL!

Okay, What do you call one Maori on the moon? A problem. What do you call three Maoris on the moon? A Problem. What do you call all the Maoris on the moon? Problem Solved.
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Old November 26, 2003, 01:04   #4
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What do you call 144 black people?

A ne-gross
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Old November 26, 2003, 01:07   #5
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Greetings ladies and germs
*Hilarity ensues*
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Old November 26, 2003, 01:09   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Frozzy
DL!

Okay, What do you call one Maori on the moon? A problem. What do you call three Maoris on the moon? A Problem. What do you call all the Maoris on the moon? Problem Solved.
Thats the first Maori joke I've ever heard. Sounds like a variation on a lawyer joke.
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"Extremism in the defense of liberty is not a vice." -- Barry Goldwater, 1964 GOP Nomination acceptance speech (not George W. Bush 40 years later...)
2004 Presidential Candidate
2008 Presidential Candidate (for what its worth)
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Old November 26, 2003, 02:12   #7
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I've got heaps.

What do you call a negro swimming in a river.

Blackcurrant.

A Maori, a Samoan and a Polynesian are driving in a car. Who's driving?
Policeman

What's the fastest thing going down a hill?
5 cents. What's the next fastest? Maori chasing after it.
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Old November 26, 2003, 02:32   #8
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What do you call an uncircumsized jew over 6 weeks old?

A girl.

eh... ok so they can't all be winners.
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Old November 26, 2003, 03:28   #9
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Well, don't ask me for any.
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Old November 26, 2003, 12:23   #10
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A couple and their young son go to a nude beach.

After a while the boy runs up to his mother and says
"MOMMY, MOMMY, all the ladies have bigger bobbies than you do!"
She relies
"Well son, the bigger,.... the dumber"

After a while he runs up a second time and says
"MOMMY, MOMMY, all the men have bigger we-wes than daddy does!"
She relies
"Well son, the bigger,.... the dumber"

He later runs up to his mother a third time and says
"MOMMY, MOMMY, Daddy is talking to the dumbest lady you ever saw, and the more he talks to her, the DUMBER he gets!
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Old November 26, 2003, 12:55   #11
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A black guy is having sex with a woman.
The women says to the black guy:
"Do to me what you do best."
The black guy gets up and leaves with the TV set.

Spec.
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Old November 26, 2003, 13:40   #12
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Uhhhhh.....racist jokes ain't cool, kids.

Don't look for a punchline.
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Old November 26, 2003, 13:43   #13
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How do you get straight line from triangle with only one move?



.... shave the pubic hair.
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Old November 26, 2003, 15:49   #14
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Sounds like a meeting for the writers on Tough Crowd.

What's the worst thing about being a child molester?
A1) Getting blood on your clown suit.
A2) Getting blood on your Michael Jackson suit.

What's the best thing about being a child molester?
When you get the pix back, your [exp] looks HUGE.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:00   #15
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What is in babies grib, black and goes up and down?

Michael Jacksons ass.

edit: yes and I realize Jackos butt is white, but that was just to distract you all from not realizing the whole joke before the answer.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:02   #16
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Would'nt that be white?


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Old November 26, 2003, 16:02   #17
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why don't the english make computers?

because they can't find a way to make them leak oil.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:06   #18
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@self biased...

I got some, but I think I might get banned if I tell them...
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:08   #19
self biased
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most of mine aren't for polite company.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:16   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by self biased
most of mine aren't for polite company.
That's no problem then, since there is no "polite" company here on Apolyton.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:21   #21
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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat?

dgat!

I figure I have the best one so far.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:26   #22
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That's lame Pekka.

What do you get when you cross an elephant, a rhinoserous, and hippopatumous?

Hel-aph-i-no... pronounced 'hell if I know'
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:28   #23
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Good, but I still think mine is better.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:32   #24
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A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says "no".

The duck stops for a second and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says "No, this is a bar, we have no bread"

The duck looks around and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman, looking a bit irritated says "No, we have no bread"

The duck looks curious and says "Have you got any bread?"

The barman, his face red says "NO, WE HAVE NO BREAD, IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOU FVCKING BEAK TO THE WALL!!!"

The duck looks at him for a second and says "Have you got any nails?"

The barman says "No"

The duck pauses and says "Have you got any bread?"
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:32   #25
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Whoever said the pun is the lowest form of humour obviously didn't post on Apolyton.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:33   #26
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Yea, I guess so...dgat

A blonde looked in a box of cheerios and said "look! donut seeds!"
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:37   #27
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lol@ wHALEBOY
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:42   #28
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The Detroit Tigers.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:44   #29
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goose@whaleboy.
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Old November 26, 2003, 16:47   #30
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Goose was tasty...
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