March 1, 2004, 07:45
|
#1
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
SMAC Humor
Due to a family medical problem, which has since worked out satisfactorily, I spent most of last week in a state of sleep deprivation. My sense of humor takes an odd turn then, or to quote my wife on some of my ideas that occur when in this kind of state, "You're weird, dear." Here is my contribution to SMAC/X humor, what's yours?
to the tune of the sesame street song - The Postman is a Person in Your Neighborhood
Oh the mind worm is a creature in your habitat, in your habitat, in your hab-i-tat, oh the mindworm is a creature in your habitiat, it's a pink thing that attacks if free market's where you at, it's is thingy that will eat - your - brain - each - time.
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
March 1, 2004, 14:39
|
#2
|
|
King
Local Time: 10:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A Magical Moment...
Posts: 2,273
|
Glad to know things are working out alright for your family although.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 2, 2004, 10:57
|
#3
|
|
Emperor
Local Time: 15:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Brasil
Posts: 3,958
|
and you say that was funny? you really needed some sleep. 
(just joking)
__________________
'Yep, I've been drinking again.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 2, 2004, 16:59
|
#4
|
|
King
Local Time: 19:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Empires were built by dictators, not democracies.
Posts: 2,869
|
the "100 sure-fire pick up lines" book would probably be an easy place for people to start posing comments about
__________________
Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendant, and to embrace them is to acheive enlightenment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 3, 2004, 01:19
|
#5
|
|
Chieftain
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The endless oceans of Darkness that surround us all...
Posts: 96
|
If I were a mindworm, I'd eat YOU, baby.
You should get some resonance, so I can pulse ya', baby.
And, perhaps, if you're REALLY drunk...
Wanna see my Silksteel?
*Chuhckles* Hey, I never said I was GOOD at this.
__________________
Noctre, Dak'Tar, the master of the endless shadow that envelops you... That is what they call me. Fear, little mortals, and feed me, for you, my little ones... are mine.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 3, 2004, 02:12
|
#6
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
Actually - I like them. But that is DEFINITELY not an indicator of good taste. 
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 4, 2004, 10:28
|
#7
|
|
Warlord
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 121
|
After the fall of Sparta Command, the Giains could not find the leader of the Spartans, Colonel Santiago. Deirdre Skye asked about her at the Network Node, the Recreation Commons, the Command Center and even in the Brood Pits. In the end, she had to ask herself, "Where in the world is Corazon Santiago?"
__________________
It's really Synthetic God... I guess I didn't notice my own typo.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 4, 2004, 12:52
|
#8
|
|
King
Local Time: 10:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A Magical Moment...
Posts: 2,273
|
oy that's so bad it's actually funny
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 7, 2004, 14:56
|
#9
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 19:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Wünderland
Posts: 543
|
Why did a mindworm cross the road?
__________________
... This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality...
... Pain is an illusion...
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 7, 2004, 15:28
|
#10
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
To eat the chicken on the other side.
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 7, 2004, 19:37
|
#11
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 2002
Location: lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
Posts: 13,229
|
Why did the Morganite cross the road?
Someone told him they dropped a cent on the other side.
-Jam
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 7, 2004, 19:47
|
#12
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
Why did the Gaian cross the road?
To catch the mindoworm that ate the chicken.
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 7, 2004, 22:39
|
#13
|
|
Chieftain
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The endless oceans of Darkness that surround us all...
Posts: 96
|
And why'd Zakahrov cross the road?
To prove the fundamental principle that space is finite and thus can be manipulated because all finite things can be manipulated because once you know the beginning and the end you can easily fold them as you please and thus singularity mechanics work because we can prove all sorts of interesting and fascinating things as long as we have the proper test subjects and it's okay if they scream a little because that only furthers our studies on sonics and sound and the number of decibels in a human shout and...
Why'd anyone ELSE cross it?
To get the hell away from Zakharov.
__________________
Noctre, Dak'Tar, the master of the endless shadow that envelops you... That is what they call me. Fear, little mortals, and feed me, for you, my little ones... are mine.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 8, 2004, 01:11
|
#14
|
|
King
Local Time: 10:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A Magical Moment...
Posts: 2,273
|
Why'd a Data Angel cross the road?
What road? They're all plugged into their terminal for some hot virtual world action.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 8, 2004, 14:48
|
#15
|
|
Provost
Local Time: 20:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 5,942
|
Why did Miriam cross the road? To beat Zakharov for blasphemy?
Why did Lal cross the road? To beat Zakharov because he annoy him too.
Why did Santiago cross the road? Wow- there is a fight on the other side.
Why did Morgan cross the road? Someone has to collect bets on that fight.
__________________
SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 8, 2004, 16:10
|
#16
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
Why did Foreman Domai cross the road - to make sure the Drones had managed to bulldoze everything flat.
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 11, 2004, 02:40
|
#17
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 20:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: amongst equals.
Posts: 12,956
|
Why did Aki Zeta-5 cross the road?
To study an interesting halfhuman interaction for further analysis
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 11, 2004, 12:32
|
#18
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
Why did the Pirate cross the road?
To get the hell away before the Sea Former dumped it into the ocean.
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 11, 2004, 13:10
|
#19
|
|
Emperor
Local Time: 13:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Posts: 3,815
|
What did Santiago say when Yang's wang disappointed her in the bedroom?
"But Corazon, I thought you approved of 'flexibility' ."
To which Santigao repiled
"Shenji, I am about to give you some serious 'information before you senses'."
__________________
Gaius Mucius Scaevola Sinistra
Japher: "crap, did I just post in this thread?"
"Bloody hell, Lefty.....number one in my list of persons I have no intention of annoying, ever." Bugs ****ing Bunny
From a 6th grader who readily adpated to internet culture: "Pay attention now, because your opinions suck"
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 11, 2004, 14:19
|
#20
|
|
King
Local Time: 13:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: State of Insanity (aka Texas)
Posts: 2,242
|
Why did the pirate cross the road?
Because all the kegs of xenorum on this side were empty! 
__________________
But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
PolyCast | Girl playing Civ + extra added babble! | Yo voté en 2008!
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 12, 2004, 00:44
|
#21
|
|
Warlord
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 121
|
Why did Miriam cross the fenced and guarded road?
"We Must Dissent"
__________________
It's really Synthetic God... I guess I didn't notice my own typo.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 12, 2004, 11:34
|
#22
|
|
Queen
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 5,848
|
"In Perihelion of MY2094, three Bible-thumping ranting Believer nuns disappeared in the xenowoods near the Dunes, while following their faction leader… A year later their prayer beads were found."
Coming to a Holotheater near you...
The "Where *****?" Project
__________________
"lol internet" ~ AAHZ
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 16, 2004, 09:46
|
#23
|
|
Prince
Local Time: 14:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 819
|
__________________
The worst form of insubordination is being right - Keith D., marine veteran. A dictator will starve to the last civilian - self-quoted
And on the eigth day, God realized it was Monday, and created caffeine. And behold, it was very good. - self-quoted
Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.
Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I'm very sorry… I wish it were otherwise.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 16, 2004, 13:44
|
#24
|
|
King
Local Time: 19:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Empires were built by dictators, not democracies.
Posts: 2,869
|
You know if you look at zak with a squint you could imagine him being on telly saying :
"We do not possess retroviral engineering, we are not researching retroviral engineering. The Hive forces are nowhere near our cities, they will be crushed and their bones will salt the earth when they come within 100miles of University base"
*Hive guard pulls a mooney behind zak and gets shot by his superior officer*
__________________
Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the greater race are transcendant, and to embrace them is to acheive enlightenment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 16, 2004, 15:10
|
#25
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 20:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: amongst equals.
Posts: 12,956
|
What thought a locusts of Chiron native squad when spotting a bunch of believers?
'Mmmm, prey or pray??'
__________________
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened. -- Lao Tsu
SMAC(X) Marsscenario
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 16, 2004, 18:32
|
#26
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 19:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: On a Board Walk
Posts: 11,565
|
Why did everybody cross the road?
To avoid the Skunkworks
__________________
"Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity."
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 18, 2004, 12:16
|
#27
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 20:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: amongst equals.
Posts: 12,956
|
Why did the second pirate drown?
An effort to save the last bottle of xenorum from the previous drowned one...
__________________
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened. -- Lao Tsu
SMAC(X) Marsscenario
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 20, 2004, 21:46
|
#28
|
|
Warlord
Local Time: 18:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 121
|
What do you call twenty University drop-pod squads that burn up in the atmosphere during re-entry?
A minor design flaw that will be corrected in the next version.... in the meantime, let's go take a trip through the new Matter Transmitter!
__________________
It's really Synthetic God... I guess I didn't notice my own typo.
|
|
|
|
|
|
March 22, 2004, 12:14
|
#29
|
|
Deity
Local Time: 20:37
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: amongst equals.
Posts: 12,956
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally posted by SynthetGod8
What do you call twenty University drop-pod squads that burn up in the atmosphere during re-entry?
A minor design flaw that will be corrected in the next version.... in the meantime, let's go take a trip through the new Matter Transmitter!
|
Actually, in one word: obselete
__________________
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened. -- Lao Tsu
SMAC(X) Marsscenario
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is On
|
|
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 14:37.
|
|
