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Old April 11, 2001, 20:08   #1
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The Git, The Borg, The Scout, The .....
What a brilliantly funny newsletter from Apolyton eh?

ROTFLMAO!!!

Let's start classifying us MP'ers by our main preferences
I guess I'm a bit Borg and Corporate Whore with a touch of Freak ]
Never been a Git or Scout and never Regular!

I post it here for those who missed it!

Ming can take it out if it's overkill.....

----

KNOW YOUR ENEMY
By Lazarus and the Gimp ( Alex.Woodland@ukgateway.net )
April 7, 2001
================================================== ===================

Civ's been around for years now, and although the permutations of gameplay
are near-infinite there are certain factors that remain constant. One of
these is the type of opponent that you'll come up against, and despite
everyone bringing their own little quirks and screaming perversions to the
game there are certain key types to watch out for.

For the benefit of all Civ novices, here are the ones that can really ruin
your day.

1- The Git.

Pray you never play The Git. Of all the breeds of Civ player he is the
most excruciatingly irksome. Inside Civ games, The Git specialises in
wanton vandalism. He churns out low-grade units by the score, sending them
out in swarms on kamikaze orgies of destruction. Shunning direct
confrontation, he will mercilessly target your infrastructure and will
wreck roads, mines and anything else that comes within the grasp of his
grubby little paws. Against serious opposition he gets swatted early, but
anyone unfortunate to start next to him is doomed.

Away from Civ games The Git generally spends his spare time vandalising
phone boxes, spitting on passers-by from the tops of multi-storey car
parks, and scrawling homoerotic graffitti in public lavatories. He is
single, he is "going through a difficult phase", and he badly needs either
the loving guidance of a good woman or a damned good kicking.


2- The Borg

The Borg is hardcore, humourless and very dangerous. He has assimilated
every single fragment of tactical tips stored throughout the internet and
knows how to use them. You will instantly know when you are playing a
Borg, because you will stumble across thriving size 20 cities when your
own citizens are just starting to get the hang of sharpening twigs. No-one
ever observes how the Borg starts out- he just suddenly pops up out of his
little hideaway and kicks the crap out of everyone. Growth is everything
to the Borg, and he shies away from confrontation to lurk in quiet corner,
expanding like a particularly smug tumour.

Outside of Civ games, The Borg is one of those quiet little clerks who
appears to live behind his desk. You will barely notice his existance
until the day he doesn't show up to work- at which point you will discover
that he has inexplicably managed to embezzle all your employer's cash,
shagged your girlfriend, and framed you for an act of public indecency
with a piece of municipal sculpture.

3- The Boy Scout

The Boy Scout will immediately charge out across the map in a heady burst
of exploration. His units will roam around the map seeking out signs of
life, and setting up remote outposts. When encountering other
civilisations he falls over himself in his puppyish enthusiasm to
establish diplomatic relations, and leaps at every chance to forge
alliances. The Boy Scout tends to end up controlling vast tracts of land
but gets ripped to shreds the moment things turn nasty, as his huge
frontiers are almost impossible to defend. One curious fact about the Boy
Scout is that he always brings out the worst in every single one of his
opponents, who can often be seen drooling at the prospect of mauling his
unblemished flesh.

In real life the Boy Scout is one of those godawful Ivy League/Oxbridge
crashing bores who breeze through life effortlessly, convinced (in the
face of the facts) that there is good to be found in everybody. Getting
perfect grades, perfect health and a perfect job, he will finally end up
as the plaything of a 6-foot leather-clad dominatrix ladyboy called
"Madame Immaculata".

4- The Corporate Whore

Dangerous, Machiavellian and universally despised, the Corporate Whore
ruthlessly accumulates wealth. Everything has a price to this spiritually
bankrupt grasper, who concentrates on building a sinister industrial
super-state at the heart of his empire. Knowledge and property are valued
only for their commercial value, and he'll be only too ready to screw
every last penny out of his hapless allies for each pittance he tosses
their way. Alliances are only valued where he can be sure of royally
stabbing you in the back at the earliest opportunity. The Corporate
Whore's greatest fear is to be located next to The Git, the one enemy
utterly immune to his advances. If you see any player frantically
scrabbling to assemble the "United Nations" wonder (the sign of a
seriously untrustworthy bastard) you can be sure it's the Whore.

Away from his PC the Corporate Whore is your boss. With this fact in mind
ensure that you screw him before he gets the chance to screw you.

5- The Freak

The Freak is determined that his game will perfectly mirror the character
and history of his chosen race. In fact, he's been known to chide
opposition Mongols for abandoning their nomadic raider existance in order
to develop space flight. If he's playing as Carthaginians you may find
your tanks suddenly facing hordes of elephants. The Freak tends to provide
tremendous entertainment value that ends all too soon when the Borg chews
him up and spits him out in a mangled gobbet of gristle.

In real life (assuming of course that he has something approaching a real
life) The Freak is an enigma. Either he doesn' t get out much or no-one
will admit to knowing him.

6- The Regular, Ordinary Person.

This player is a myth. This is Civ we're talking about, after all. Next
time you play, put a mirror over your monitor. Do you see that leering,
twisted sociopath hunched over the keyboard? That's you, my boy.

So which one are you?
---
 
Old April 11, 2001, 21:26   #2
Curumbor Elendil
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I'm about equal parts Boy Scout and Corporate Whore. I love to expand and make contact with everyone, but I'll also stab in the back when I have an overwhelming advantage. The way to play me, frankly, is to acquire trust through strength.

------------------
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Old April 11, 2001, 21:56   #3
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Hmmm, should have included the horse


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Old April 11, 2001, 22:02   #4
sekong
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A bit of Borg, and a bit of scout I am.
Fast exploring is due to the big advantage of hut hunting in civ2. I was more of a borg I think in original civ.
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Old April 12, 2001, 09:00   #5
drake
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I don't think I really fit into any of those profiles.

I guess I'm closest to Boy Scout cuz I rarely find myself in a war in which I started. However, I don't expand blindly and rarely set up cities that will be very vulnerable.
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Old April 12, 2001, 09:25   #6
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Seems to me you left me off the list...

I am the Geek... the geek lives for technology and wonders. He will build libraries instead of more settlers and get to democracy asap. A super science city gives him a thrill. He saves up caravans to rush build the latest wonder.

The Geek will have fewer and smaller cities. This and democracy will mean he is not aggresive, but beware if he gets his modern wonders (like Hoover Dam) because he will be producing tanks as fast as you can build a riflemen.

Outside the game the geek is a sci-fi fanatic and dreams of really going to Alpha Centauri.


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Old April 12, 2001, 10:50   #7
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The Corporate Whore, but with style
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Old April 13, 2001, 00:14   #8
The Capo
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Yeah I'd agree with GNGSpam on that one, I'm the Corporate Whore.
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Old April 14, 2001, 13:49   #9
cavebear
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LOL! Just read this thread (I had thought it was some game with unusual leader names) because it was mentioned in the Personality Type thread.

I agree the Geek is a missing category, but there are some others...

The Merchant. Lives for Trade, Caravans, and Gold. He will send out Settlers to establish many cities, but that's only so that he has a customer base where he gets the trade benefits in his own cities. He may specialize in bagging Barb Leaders for their ransom value. The Merchant's mititary is used mostly to keep the peace in his own cities, since he knows he can buy an army of defenders at will when required. He seldom bothers to build Temples or Colliseums for citizen happiness, but will thriftily buy Wonders for that purpose. After all, Wonders cost nothing to support!

The Merchant's plan is to arrive in the endgame able to buy a Spaceship in just a couple of turns.

The Public Servant. Whether in Monarchy, Republic, or Democracy, always thinks of himself as the Town Manager. He wants a solid infrastructure of Temples, Marketplaces, and Libraries, etc, to keep the public both happy and educated. Trade, taxes, production, and research are carefully balanced so that all possible benefits are available as needed. He *hates* having a single unhappy citizen around. The Public Servant always has a couple of defensive units in each city for the protection of the citizenry against Barbs or wandering enemy vandals, and for good Public Order. He values efficiency, but there are always those demands for Harbors and City Walls to be taken care of first, so he doesn't have many Wonders. He doesn't want *too* many cities, because he can't fairly take care of all of them. The Public Servant looks for a good ally to help protect his people and see to their proper development.

The Public Servant expects to be able to have his people ready to build a Spaceship (the fastest one possible, of course, for safety's sake) at the proper time.
<font size=1 face=Arial color=444444>[This message has been edited by cavebear (edited April 14, 2001).]</font>
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Old April 15, 2001, 08:59   #10
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I'm the borg/scout I always send a couple of units out to explore, and build my cities up very quicky, hardly ever building units.
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Old April 15, 2001, 14:13   #11
Rasputin
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im the boring public servant !!!
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Old April 15, 2001, 18:10   #12
cavebear
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<center><table width=80%><tr><td><font color=000080 face="Verdana" size=2><font size="1">quote:
<img src="/images/blue1.gif" width=100% height=1>
</font><font size=1>Originally posted by Rasputin on 04-15-2001 02:13 PM</font>
im the boring public servant !!!
<img src="/images/blue1.gif" width=100% height=1></font></td></tr></table></center>

Same here...
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Old April 16, 2001, 15:30   #13
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I propose: "The Rabbit"

His philosophy is safety in numbers. Build as many cities as possible.
He knows it doesn't really matter if he loses the odd one, two or even half a dozen to a barbarian or human tiger. At all times; he will try to keep half his cities pregnant with settlers and if he sees grassland - whoopee just watch those settlers tails bobbing -it is Carrot City 1,2,3 to infinity all over.

The rabbit won't fight you if he thinks he can out breed you; but if you move in on him; an entire sub-continent will be filled with scores of low grade units (like a shoal of fluffy minnows) with every other square covered. Even tanks can only kill three warriors (separate squares) in one turn. [Hint: Fighters can quickly fill your cooking pot.] Defense in sheer depth of numbers and space defeated Napoleon and Hitler [and the DEA do not look like being much different]. Yes the Rabbit plans to smother you too!

The rabbit likes to play as China or Russia (or in ToT as Mermen) and start in fertile grasslands (the real world) with lots of rivers.
He will rarely be seen on a small manufactured world without adequate 'living room'.

The rabbit doesn't bother to seek out special resources but just creates his cities as quickly as possible; knowing full well that with sufficient city density, every resource in his area will be used sooner or later.
If you fight a rabbit warren on a mountain it is not for defense but only because the Rabbit ran out of room and sniffed offshore Fish or Whales.

Rabbit Money only exists for rush building settlers/gardens and as for Luxury or Elvis you won't find that in his world's villages. Science; that is what bunny diplomats and spies are for. Cultivating land - what ho - I only thought AIs did that - honest!

The Rabbit has only two terrors:
(a) starting in a grass free (very bunny challenging) arid or frigid zone or even (horrors of all horrors) a remote island!; and
(b) someone else building the Great Wall, the Hanging Gardens AND Michelangelo's before him. If he can build the Great Wall and fortify two Pikemen in each of his 40/50 population 3 (primitive third world undeveloped cities) he is in heaven as it is scacely worth anyone's while to attack them all as they get destroyed and buying them all would put the Merchant's Civ in very serious disorder not to mention losing all those first ratios in the F11 Times. His greatest opponent is usually the Scout who he competes against for the most land early on.

The rabbit has a sense of humour:
(a) chuckles of laughter whenever a single city wonder (the Colossus, Copernicus Observatory, King Richard's Crusade, Isaac Newton's College or Shakspeare's Theatre)is mentioned. He genuinely cannot see the point and thinks that others have either missed out on their wanted wonder or clicked on the wrong wonder button.

How to defeat the rabbit:
(a) don't let him host and refuse to extend the turn time. Just wait for his plaintive cries of: "I need more time; my settlers (bunnies) want to build cities and get in production (pregnant building more settlers)"
(b) make it an oceanic world (but, be cruel, don't tell him before) or
(c) declare war and send over one or two; but really no more, horsemen, chariots, elephants or crusaders. You do not even have to attack to stampede him into switching his (35 shield already built) construction lines in each of the nearest 20 cities away from settlers (bunnies) into building phalanxes or pikemen or ha ha (if early on) two warriors per city. If playing two move multiplayer; follow this up with a couple of catapults and observe the panic rush building of City Walls. All this will thoroughly disrupt his rabbit reasoning plans.
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Old April 19, 2001, 15:11   #14
Bugs ****ing Bunny
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Evenin' all.

Before a swift and ill-advised change of username I was "Lazarus and the Gimp". Good to see some more oddball personality types surfacing. I was tempted to add a section on a friend of mine who only ever builds a single city and spends his entire (usually brief) games defending it tooth and claw. He says he's trying to emulate the city-states of renaissance Europe, and that that it's the single most exhilerating tactic to play. Personally, I think he's probably a one-off and shouldn't be allowed out without a leash.

I've encountered a few bizarre egotists who attempt to form their network of cities into a self-portrait, and one who always attempted to build cities to spell out "Millwall FC". I'm never anything other than amazed at the immense variety of oddballs the the game of Civ attracts.
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