A Question for Family Men: How do y'all find the time to play all these games?

JohnT · October 26, 2001, 12:11

I have been a (video/computer) gamer my entire life, starting with the first Pong boxes from Sears in 1975 (the yellow and black boxes, if any of you remember them). I've played more than my share of handheld games (remember the old Mattel football games, the ones with the blinking diodes?), arcade games (Williams Electronics rules!), Atari 2600, Atari 800, Colecovision, Intellivision, and finally PC games. I used to sit up for hours playing Civ until 3 in the AM, finally putting it away to crack on some X-com aliens or to invade the Bulrathi.

But now... now it's a different story, but a very familiar one to many of us. You get married. The wife wants a house and kids so that means you gotta get serious about the career (not "job" but "career"). You get the house and all those repairs that used to take the time of a phone call to the apartment manager now take hours because, surprise!, you've gotta buy the supplies and fix it yourself. Then baby comes and s/he takes the demands on your time to a whole new level.

I mean, just how the freak do y'all do it? No matter what I do, not only do I not have near the amount of time to be very good at games, but many times I can't even find the time to finish the first game! For example, I bought Baldur's Gate 1 about a month ago and have played it, maybe, 10 hours. Now the reviews I've read say that this game takes about 100 hours to complete (and I'm a big sidequest kinda guy) and that its sequels will take 2-3 times as long to complete!

Who's got time for that? The long and short of it is this: despite how much I like the game, the odds are excellent that it will never get completed (even if it weren't for Civ3).

So how do y'all manage? Ignore the family? Give minimal effort to the job? Let the house fall down about yourselves? It would be a big help if I could stay off the 'net, but hell, it's more fun than the games at times!

November Adam · October 26, 2001, 12:48

Well just at the starting stage of this whole "family" thing.. no kids yet. I have a feeling games will be a side thing. Well guess I'll have to wait till retirement

.

jackshot · October 26, 2001, 14:21

Why I like TBS games. I don't play any game where my 5-year-old can ruin my score by talking to me.

But a few turns a night after they're asleep sure beats crashing out watching Lucy reruns. I play even long games like Civ this way, it takes awhile but what the hay I like the epic nature.

And you left out one of the ways to steal game-playing time: sleep.

Rex Little · October 26, 2001, 16:20

JohnT left out one other obstacle: when the kids are old enough, they compete with you for computer time. My 15-year-old spends so much time playing Roller Coaster Tycoon or The Sims, or loading music from BearShare, that I wind up playing Colonization (on my old DOS machine) more than anything else. For newer games, I'm pretty much relegated to what jackshot said: a few turns a night after the wife and kid go to bed. I've been playing Baldur's Gate that way for months and I'm still a long way from the end.

One strategy, I suppose, is to hold off on buying new games until they hit the bargain bins. Since you don't have time to play them anyway, you won't miss having them brand-new. Eventually the kids will grow up and you'll retire; by then you'll have a huge collection of game you bought cheap but haven't played yet, and you can spend your golden years happily ploughing through them.

JohnT · October 26, 2001, 16:54

I like your kind of long-term strategy, Rex. Problem is, I don't think the wife will go for it:

"Honey, I've calculated that we now have enough money for me to quit my job and stay at home and play video games all day! Isn't that great!?!?"

"GET...OUT...NOW!"

"yes, dear"

The bargain bin strategy is one that I use constantly (after all, I just bought BG1 a month ago) but still...

Master Marcus · October 26, 2001, 19:56

Quote:

Originally posted by November Adam
Well just at the starting stage of this whole "family" thing.. no kids yet. I have a feeling games will be a side thing. Well guess I'll have to wait till retirement

.

You'll play holo games by then.

I don't have kids nor do I have a girlfriend right now, and even with the spare time I have I don't play enough.....I'll find additional free time to devote for Civ III and MoO 3 I'm sure, but my friends and my work are of course priority one ( and two ).

rwprice · October 27, 2001, 00:41

John,
You really hit the nail on the head for me! That's the exact same situation that I've been dealing with. I just got into strategy games about a year ago, and since then browsing the bargain bins has almost been an obsession. Problem is, it's more like collecting than playing, since I have little time left to play. The bottom line is that I usually only get 15 minutes a day to play, or up to an hour on a good day. At that rate, I'll never get proficient at any of these games!

I used to think I just couldn't get the hang of the games. Now, I realize it's because I don't have the time it takes to get really good! I don't have a solution, but at this pace, my existing games should last through the rest of my working years!

Father Beast · October 27, 2001, 08:57

My wife usually stays up after I'm in bed, but I get up early to have some computer time. the kids are still sleeping as I type.

I usually get 1 - 1-1/2 hours on weekdays, 2 - 3 hours on weekends. I can play what I want, and games which I can't save on never interested me, for some reason.

I can seriously identify with the "not getting but collecting" syndrome. I cut myself off from bargain bins a few months ago when I realized I hadn't even unwrapped Age Of Empires, Total Annihilation, Black and White (used), or Command and Conquer:Red Alert.

but I still get my playing time, it's just not as much.

and when a baby is born, I don't have time for ANYTHING, so it's a good thing these games save well.

November Adam · October 27, 2001, 11:24

Dear lord gentlemen we are growing up..

JohnT · October 27, 2001, 12:35

Quote:

Originally posted by November Adam
Dear lord gentlemen we are growing up..

Dammit, I was scared that was going to happen!

MBloomIII · October 28, 2001, 14:27

Quote:

Originally posted by JohnT
I like your kind of long-term strategy, Rex. Problem is, I don't think the wife will go for it:

"Honey, I've calculated that we now have enough money for me to quit my job and stay at home and play video games all day! Isn't that great!?!?"

"GET...OUT...NOW!"

"yes, dear"

The bargain bin strategy is one that I use constantly (after all, I just bought BG1 a month ago) but still...

Wow John, your wife is very understanding. My conversations usually go.

"Honey, I'm going..."

"NO...MOW THE YARD...FINISH THE LAUNDRY...PAY THE BILLS. You want to know what my day has been like?!? Let me tell you. First off, the baby..."

[sound of lawn mower starting]

Actually, my wife goes to bed shortly after the kids. So I can usually cram an hour or two into computer games and/or internet. There have been a few nights I've crept into bed at 3:00am hoping not to wake her. My most recent attempt at more game time is having a job where I travel. I've got a 10 on/4 off schedule going back and forth to KC for the next couple of months. Now I just need to get a hold of a laptop.

MattyBoy · October 28, 2001, 19:10

I'm with MBloom, except that my wife considers it an extreme, personal affront if I choose to play a game, rather than snuggle up with her when bedtime comes.

Actually, I have gotten to the stage where I cannot muster the enthusiasm/commitment to start a new game or play an old one.

I guess as baby II gets past 1 year old I will begin to find more energy and enthusiasm to play. Excess sleep is what I really need to get me started. I haven't had that for a while.

Stupid thing is, I'm happy to waste time on these forums.

November Adam · October 28, 2001, 22:39

You crave the intelligent conversation. No "gogo dada, bada bobo".

Granted sometimes I have to wonder

MattyBoy · October 29, 2001, 00:30

I guess I can't get enough of Infatuation's insights

BTW, that was "Baby II", not "Baby 11".

catullus · October 29, 2001, 05:37

JohnT, we must be brothers!
You just described the story of my life, complete up to the late-night Civ/XCom/MOO combo. I've concluded that I'll never play EU, sitting there on the shelf. I will buy Civ3 and Combat Mission 2 - From Barbarossa to Berlin, but I have no high hopes of becoming a master player.

I sleep very little (typically 5 hours a night), so normally, I would have an hour or so undisturbed each day. But no, wifey sleeps 4.5 hours. And late evening, she needs cuddling.

The days of 36-hours red-eyed playing are gone. Face it.

My ways:
"Hey, honey. I really think you should go out more. Meet friends, don't think of me. I'll hold the fort. I won't stay up for you. Have a nice evening!"
Used to work OK. Starting to work again these days, when wifey is finishing breast-feeding period. Will give you 4-6 hours good playing time every two-three weeks.

"I'm sorry, but I must go to this meeting out of town. I'll catch plane the evening before, and stay at a hotel. Will miss you. Will call you at 11PM."
Do not overuse! I'm close to overfilling my quota this season (6 nights in two months). 6-12 hours continous play time (adjust for sleep need), interrupted only by the control phone she needs late that evening. Laptop needed, of course.

Try to get her hooked on a game. My wife likes Tetris, I've heard the Sims can do the job. Then declare one evening be Dad's game night. Start late, after most chores are done. 2-3 hours a week should be possible.

Rex: Kids need their own computers. Dad's PC is Dad's PC. Let them inherit your old one, or help them save for a new one.

C.

SlowwHand · October 29, 2001, 18:40

You either help your spouse find a hobby, or you find a lawyer.

tonic · October 30, 2001, 01:39

The ultimate prognosis is always positive for the gamer - children do grow up and spouses develop independent interests (without necessarily weakening the marriage bond).

I'm now strategy gaming as much as I like but other interests tend to encroach - music and the real natural world outside.