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Old September 7, 2000, 06:13   #1
Father Beast
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Everybody's free to visit Apolyton
Ladies and gentlemen of the players of Civilization: Visit Apolyton.
If I could give you only one tip for the future, Apolyton would be it.
The long term benefits of visiting Apolyton have been proven by Alexander’s Horse,
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own limited
experience.
I will dispense this advice Now:

Enjoy the power and wonder of your posts. Never mind, you won’t appreciate how great
your posts are until they’re lost in the archives. But trust me, by the time you make
Warlord, you’ll look back and realize how innocent your ideas were, and how much
people actually listened to you. You are NOT as stupid as the people in off-topic.
Don’t worry about the release date of Civilization 3, For worrying is about as effective as
trying to conquer the world without troops. The real problem with the release date is that
it will be when you’re between jobs, your computer has a virus, and your ISP has gone
out of business.
Read one topic every day you’ve never seen.
Post.
Don’t be contemptuous of other people’s ideas, Don’t get into arguments with people
who are contemptuous of yours.
Post.
Forget about your rank. Sometimes you’re a settler, later you’ll be a prince. The forums
are long, and in the end, you’re the only one who cares.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell
Yin how.
Keep the List and the EC3. Throw away the flame threads.
Post.
Don’t feel guilty if you aren’t that good at the game when your register for the forums.
Some of the more interesting posters weren’t that good at the game when they registered.
Some of the most interesting posters at king still can’t beat OCC on Deity.
Post.
Get plenty of playing time.
Be nice to Markos and Dan. You’ll miss your login when it’s banned.
Maybe you’ll be a moderator, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll write for the column,
maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll get continually beaten by the AI, Maybe you’ll trounce
Ming in your 250th MP game. Whatever happens, remember that you’re really just
another civ player. So is everybody else.
Enjoy your copy of Civ. Play it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or whether your
wife hates it. It’s the greatest game you’ll ever own.
Post. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own place of work.
Read the FAQ, even if you don’t like it. Do Not read the Apolyton Coffee Shop, it will
only make you feel stupid.

Get to know the strategy guides. You never know when they’ll come in handy. Visit the
archives. They’re your best link to the past, and a great source of ideas for the future.
Understand that columns come and go, but a precious few should be kept and referred to.
Work hard to bridge the link to other great Civ sites, because the more experienced you
get, the more you need that site whose URL you’ve forgotten.
Visit the CTP forums once, but leave once you realize you’re smart. Visit off-topic once,
but leave before it makes you stupid.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Topics will get rehashed, People will debate history,
Your threads too will get buried. And when they do, you’ll fantasize that when you first
registered, Topics were fresh, People debated the game, and People respected Markos
and Dan.
Respect Ming. This dude knows what he’s talking about.
Don’t expect anyone to respond to you. Maybe you’ll have a hot topic, maybe you’ll have
a high rank. But you never know when either one will get buried or forgotten.
Post.
Don’t mess too much with your posts, or by the time anyone sees them, they’ll have
“edited by” notes longer than your message.
Be careful whose games you buy, but be patient with fans of games like Call To Power.
Buying a non Sid game is a form of experimentation. Like taking part of the list,
rewording it, putting it into play, and passing it off as your own creation.

But trust me on the www.apolyton.net
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Old September 7, 2000, 06:33   #2
Scouse Gits
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duh - I liked the bit in the middle, but the start and end where you are exhorting people to visit ACS? Aren't we here? Did I miss something? Is this the OT?


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Old September 7, 2000, 06:33   #3
Laertes
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I hesitate to use the word "spoof" for such a quality piece of work. Whatever you call it, it is excellent. Can we look forward to "If all around are posting off topic, and..."?
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Old September 7, 2000, 07:53   #4
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*copies it and emails it to all his friends*

what were you asking SG1?

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April Cantor: Sire, in order to expand further we must first gain favor of the King

SCG: darn, I've never really got the hang of that tribute thing, guess it will be a long time until i make prince

*goes off and starts gifting gold and techs*
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Old September 7, 2000, 18:37   #5
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Hey, nice try trying to pass off a parody of a song for an original post. Uh, I think I broke the contempt advice!

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Old September 9, 2000, 06:28   #6
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A while back somebody wrote a piece called "everybody's free to play civilization", which I have no idea where it is now. it contained the word "Nuke", every few lines, and such bits of wisdom as "Don't mess too much with your civ, or by 1950 it will look like Iraq".
I was thinking that one served for people who read coug's "you know you're addicted to civ when.." thread, and we needed on as analogue to oldman's "you know you're addicted to apolyton when..." thread.
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Old September 14, 2000, 23:04   #7
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I love it...... maybe it should be compulsory reading for all new Apolytoners...like myself.
 
Old September 17, 2000, 18:32   #8
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Cool! Lovin' it!

SG1 and The ANZAC: just because it borrowed the meter and theme of a poem/song certainly doesn't mean it's bad. Heck, I'd hate to think of how much money has been made by one artist/musician "borrowing" the guts of another's creative work! (such is my old-fart view point of a LOT of pop music ).

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Old September 18, 2000, 03:49   #9
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You are right, FB...
Since i've posted here at Apolyton, my scenarios improved a lot ...
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Old September 18, 2000, 19:09   #10
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Actually, I thought his "creation" was very good. I was just making a joke about how it does use the same beat of another song. Other than that, good job, Father Beast!

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Old September 18, 2000, 20:00   #11
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Wow, Incredible. Now i want to send it to my friends along with the mp3 of the real song. Anybody remember what it was called and who sang it?
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Old September 19, 2000, 00:37   #12
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The poem/song was called "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen". It was originally written by a Chicago Trib) newspaper columnist for a high school graduation commencement. It floated around the internet for a while until an Austrailian set it to music. There is were my knowledge ends. However, I bet that you could find it by searching the name.

Search found several sites including this one: http://www.supak.com/sunscreen.htm

This was posted on the home page:

The original column by Mary Schmich of The Chicago Tribune. June 1, 1997.* Click here to read Mary Schmich's version of how her article was miscredited to Kurt Vonnegut via e-mail and became hugely popular.* The song, on the CD Something for Everybody by Baz Luhrmann, is properly credited to Schmich.

One more: http://members.nbci.com/tvlive/home.htm

This one contains an MP3 copy to download and a RealAudio copy to listen to on web.
Edit: Correct newspaper above, Search title ad links.
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[This message has been edited by MacUser (edited September 19, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by MacUser (edited September 19, 2000).]
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Old September 19, 2000, 03:50   #13
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Baz Luhrmann was the guy who recorded the song. Not 100% sure on the spelling.
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Old September 19, 2000, 15:51   #14
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did you post this here instead of in the Off topic so you would be able to bash the OT forum, Fatherbeast?
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Old September 20, 2000, 08:52   #15
Father Beast
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Well, suas, I put it here instead of off topic, because its true home would be apolyton, not off topic. But the thread I support with this - Oldman's "you know you're addicted to apolyton when..." - is here instead of in the apolyton forum where it belongs also, so I thought I could get away with posting it here.
I bash Off topic a bit there don't I? maybe it's because I went there once and couldn't find anything I wanted to read. The Apolyton coffee shop was just confusing. the other threads about world events I didn't care about, and if I did, I'd go other places. Nobody was talking about civ, which is why I go to Apolyton.
I also bash CTP in there, too. Where's the peole complaining that I didn't post to the CTP forum?
Oh, they must be over discussing CTP.

OH, and suas? I can't help but notice that it took 2 weeks for someone from off topic to come here and say something.
in defense of off topic, it is a very active forum, and I have to agree with the guy who wrote the column about it (comments for that article are in the Apoyton forum, not off topic, for some reason).
It's just not for me.
[This message has been edited by Father Beast (edited September 20, 2000).]
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Old September 20, 2000, 08:58   #16
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I have just d/led the mp3 - it's very good and NOW I understand what everyone is talking about - either I was asleep during the relevent time or it didn't make much of a splash this side of the pond - sorry.
I must now revise my earlier comments FB - an excellent piece (Why didn't you make it a 'Column'?)


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Old September 20, 2000, 09:25   #17
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I have only now read this thread because the title didn't grab me before. Excellent post!!



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Old September 20, 2000, 21:16   #18
Father Beast
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I didn't make it a "column", because I was treading in the footprints of that great guy who wrote "everybody's free to play civilization", and I think his was just a post, not a column.

Does ANYONE know who wrote that earlier piece, and where it can be found?
Just another testament that the great library must be built. (see link on above post)
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