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Old March 20, 2002, 22:39   #1
Big Ben
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My little story. (Persians and Egyptians)
Well, I saw some other stories around here, and just felt like trying it out. I'm 14 years old and no writer so forgive me if I start rambling. I really don't know where I'm going with this, other than it loosely follows one of my games. Comments and suggestions appreciated. Here's the first part. And, I really tried to make this a serious one, but you'll see that after about the third sentence I ditched that approach .

================================

Dictator Cleopatra set her gaze westward. The saying was true: The sun never set in the Egyptian Empire. Powerful beyond belief, the Empire, her Empire, spanned three entire continents with colonies in many others. But all this wealth, glory, and power came with a price. She no longer had any friends, and every other civilization, although furious with her, would not dare match wits with so powerful an adversary. And now, like so many other great leaders with little to do, Cleopatra spent her days knitting woolen afghans and her nights pushing her puny "friends" against the wall and demanding tribute at the threat of war. Most acknowledged her vastly superior strength and were quick to accede to her demands, but others steadfastly refused. However she didn't press; the quilt for her new grandson Moses was not quite finished yet and she would not allow another war to distract her.

"Advisor!! Enter my chambers!" Cleaopatra barked rather loudly.

"Yes, madam. How may I so graciously serve thee?"

"Guess the number."

"Wh-wh-what number madam?" The advisor's eyes glanced nervously around.

"The number in my head, you insolent fool!" She was becoming impatient.

"Ffff-fo-ffff-four?" The advisor said, he stared nervously around, afraid to look up. Cleopatra's eyes narrowed. "Wait! I meant to say nine! Yes! That's it! NINE! Please, I beg of you, forgive my transgression." The advisor whimpered.

"No." Cleopatra said nonchalantly. "Guards, off with his head."

The guards were quick to take him, and although he tried valiantly to shrug them off, it was no use. He was carried kicking and screaming to the depths of her palace.

Cleopatra had become unusually harsh as of late. Ever since the war with Babylon which erupted over some trivial land annexations in Scandinavia, and which also ended without Cleopatra ruthlessly razing the entire nation, she hadn't been her jovial old self. Waging war across the sea is expensive and hard to maintain, and although she easily succeeded in driving out the colonies that had so haphazardly parked next to her glorious nation, sending troops to North America in order to battle the Babylonians on their home turf became a lesson in futility. Yes, she was the most technologically superior civilization in the world, but the advances she needed just were not there. But things were different now.

Meanwhile, in Persia.....

"Emporer Xerxes, word has just arrived that our naval shipyards are assembling these new Ironclads, as they've been called, at an enormous rate. Our Navy will easily become a force to be reckoned with."

"Ironclads you say? Tell me more." Xerxes was intrigued.

"Of course. The makeup of an ironclad is leaps and bounds above that of frigates, sir. Clothed fully in metal, these glorious ships are capable of withstanding brutal attacks of cannon fire. What's more, the revolutionary gun turret mounted on these warships eliminates the arduous and highly dangerous task of turning the ship broadside in order to fire. No longer must we give enemies any advantage they do not deserve. And finally, sir, our ship's movement is not subject to the whims of those dastardly wind currents, because the ship is run entirely on steam! It's is amazing in every sense of the word, sir."

The messenger rambled on incessently for another few minutes before being abruptly cut-off.

"Yes, yes, I see your point. These ironclads are the break I have been looking for. Those brutish Egyptians will no longer stand as the superpower of our world, and I, Xerxes, will be the one to dethrone him. Early reconaissance suggests that the Egyptian Navy is still heavily dependent upon Frigates. Even better, we saw in the Babylonian Wars that those whimpy caravels still saw some use. Yes... this is exactly what I've been waiting for. Messenger how long before we have a fleet of these new ships?"

"Only a few months, sir"

"Excellent. Excellent indeed. Egypt, you will live to regret your savagery."

Last edited by Big Ben; March 21, 2002 at 18:31.
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Old March 20, 2002, 23:11   #2
curlyboy24
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Great so far! Very well written, keep it up!
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Old March 20, 2002, 23:25   #3
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Quite good, indeed! Keep it coming
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Old March 21, 2002, 00:48   #4
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Oooh! Another budding author...waiting in anticipation.
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Old March 21, 2002, 07:51   #5
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We'll see I guess. I'll try to post the next part later today.
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Old March 21, 2002, 21:09   #6
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And so construction began and soon little could be heard over the din coming from the naval shipyards in Persepolis. For Persepolis was Persia's largest city and nestled snugly in the Isthmus of Panama it provided a strategic base of operations. Of course, everything was hush hush, and although no official word was released on what the aging Xerxes was up to, everyone suspected something big.

"Haimon, are those damn ships ready yet?" Yelled Xerxes, some weeks later.

"Yes sir, they are. Preparations are being made for their launch right now."

"Good, good. When they're done send 'em all out and we'll really whoop up on those meddling Egyptians."

"Umm, sir? Don't you think we should perhaps come up with a course of action before we launch all our ships?" Haimon inquired.

"Pfft, who needs a 'course of action' when we have an entire fleet of armored ships at our disposal? Just send them over there. Those measly Egyptians will surely turn tail and run once they set sight on such an impressive display of power. Don't you think, Haimon?"

"Yes, of course. I am your most trusted military advisor however, so I felt a word of caution would be in order. I have learned that it is always wise to cover one's hind parts in case of disaster."

"What are you trying to say?" Xerxes arched his eyebrows slightly.

"Erm, nothing, nothing at all. Covering my hind parts is not needed. The Egyptians will surely surrender once they see our military might in action. You are absolutely correct. 100% percent. Without a doubt. I see no reason-"

"Okay, shut up and get to work on preparing the fleet for launch. Send in everything we have, even some of those worthless Frigates. We'll throw everything we've got at them and never let up. Send in some transports behind the main line and unload them after the initial bombardment."

"What is our first target sir? How about Jinjang or Niagra Falls? They are lightly defended and within bombardment range of our ironclads."

"No." Xerxes contemplated momentarily. "We attack.... St. Petersburgh." Xerxes had an odd look on his face when he said that. That kind of menacing, evil, I'm possesed by a demon and enjoying it kind of look.

"Respectfully sir, have you lost your mind?" Haimon was aghast.

They could not possibly seize St. Petersburgh, even with their new ironclads. It was easily Egypt's largest port city with towering parapets that stretched as far as the eye could see and massive docks manned by hordes of workers slaving away night and day seeking to further the glory of Egypt. Heavily armed troops were garrisoned there at all times and the straits leading into the bay where St. Petersburgh had been founded were easily defended. In over 5,000 years no nation had ever successfully laid seige to so intimidating a city. And Haimon certainly didn't think thy would break that trend. Egypt had been at war one time or another with every civilization in the world, and few cities had ever been taken; most certainly not St. Petersburgh.

"We will take the city, Haimon. Do not fear." Xerxes replied assuredly.

"Certainly, sir." And with that Haimon shuffled off.


==========================================
In Egypt...


"They're WHAT!!!" Screamed Cleopatra, seething with anger at the news she'd just been told.

"Persia's fleet is sailing as we speak. They seem to be throwing their whole military at us. Xerxes has surely underestimated us this time. Also, transports follow along in the back loaded with cavalry and riflemen."

"How do we know this?" Asked Cleopatra.

"Why, our Geosynchronous satellites of course." the advisor said off handedly. Cleopatra's lips cracked into a thin smile at this news.
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Old March 24, 2002, 23:05   #7
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Admiral Helius stood on the stern of XRS Pericles and gazed thoughtfully out his viewfinder. The coast of the Egyptian Empire should appear shortly, with St. Petersburgh at its center. At this moment Helius felt a sudden surge of pride well up inside his body. He was commanding the Persian Navy's newest and most sophisticated flagship; swift but sturdy it cut through the waves with a grace and ease not expected of such a large, forboding ship. A fleet of seventeen ironclads trailed silenty behind him, lending an even larger display of power. He remembered his early days, fining litterers in Persepolis. Oh how he hated that worthless job. Walking around with that stupid little pointy stick; he didn't even get a real weapon and-"

"Admiral!" Yelled the watchmen. "I've got some faint outlines on the horizon. It looks like the Egyptian Navy. More details in a couple minutes as we get closer."

Helius quickly snapped out of his peaceful reverie and began making preparations for encounter. He barked out some quick commands to his deckhands, and told the munitions workers to load the turrets. A slight mid-morning haze was obstructing the view outward, and he could only very faintly make out the Egpytian Navy steaming furiously toward him. It was 10:30 am.

"Send out a recon boat, Jameson." Admiral Helius told his first mate.

"Right away, sir."

When the recon boat came back 30 minutes later, the men in it were a ghostly white. Their faces ashen with discontent, they told the Admiral the details of the Egyptian Navy. As the story went on, the Admiral too became pale, the blood draining from his face. A slight groan of regret escaped his lips, and he silently wondered what Xerxes had gotten his fleet, indeed, the entire nation into. For the sailor's reports told of a force so vast it spanned miles of open ocean. The ships themselves were hundreds of feet long, some possibly thousands with gun turrets jutting out of every corner glinting menacingly in the now bright, afternoon son. No smokestacks were present, indicating a type of engine most assuredly more advanced than their primitive combustion ones. Fast, extremely agile two winged behemoths screeched across the sky at speeds estimated by the crew as hundreds upon hundreds of miles an hour, turning the other wise clear afternoon into a criss-cross pattern of seeming impregnability. It was 11:04 am.

The Admiral was sure they had been spotted hours ago, and were quietly awaiting the inevitable battle. No sooner had the thought escaped his mind than the first shots splashed into the ocean next to his ship sending plumes of water cascading over the deck. They were still many miles out! It was impossible to be accurate at such a distance! The next shot struck the Khandahar full on the bow. It was quickly taking on water and the screams of dying men could easily be heard over the groaning and creaking of the ship as thousands of pounds of ocean water burst through every open crevice of the ship.

Men were bailing ship without so much as a fight. But the Admiral wasn't surprised, for there was little they could do from such a distance. Shots were fired of course, but they served merely as a retaliatory effort. The aformentioned jets were hurtling towards them at incredible speeds now and streaked across the sky dropping their payload on the already crippled Khandahar. The bow was completely submerged, with the stern ablaze and quickly steering itself towards the same fate. What was happening? The greatest naval battle in history had just begun, and all Admiral Helius could do was stand by and watched as his glorious fleet sunk into the ocean's depths. It was 11:32 am.
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Old April 5, 2002, 18:01   #8
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bump (story contest)
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Old April 6, 2002, 00:20   #9
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Pretty good story Ben, Keep it up!

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Old April 6, 2002, 00:37   #10
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Hmm, I thought nobody was really interested. Maybe, I'll finish it Thanks for the support.
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Old April 6, 2002, 09:02   #11
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yeah write more!
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Old April 12, 2002, 17:38   #12
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bump
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