Blatantly stolen from another site. - Page 2

Zopperoni · April 22, 2002, 18:57

Curly Baby Sugar Parker

Frankychan · April 22, 2002, 18:58

Peg leg Gumbo-Bones Brown

WTH is that?

Chowlett · April 22, 2002, 19:01

Crippled Dog Rivers

Guynemer · April 22, 2002, 19:05

Boney Sugar Lee.

Actually, I think he played the Blind Pig a week ago.

ixnay · April 22, 2002, 19:09

Curly Gumbo Davis. And, if I go by my name in films, Curly Bones Davis.

Juggernaut · April 22, 2002, 19:11

Fat Legs King.

Kropotkin · April 22, 2002, 19:13

It's probably impossible to use these names in real life. There's a thin line between being cool and parody. Besides there's always the likely risk that one will be sued by the decendants of a long gone, buried and forgotten blues-singer from a allah-forsaken swamp...

Gibsie · April 22, 2002, 19:14

Old Gumbo-Fingers Jones

I like it!

Provost Harrison · April 22, 2002, 20:26

I don't have a middle name, but taking the middle name I would have been given (Gavin

), my name comes out as Skinny Killer Rivers...

- Groucho - · April 22, 2002, 20:33

Blind Dog Lee.

I had no idea Asher (Old Dog Lee) and I were both part of the "Dog Lee" clan.

War4ever · April 22, 2002, 20:39

Big Dog Lee

Asher · April 22, 2002, 20:49

Old Dog Lee, Blind Dog Lee, and Big Dog Lee

Strength in numbers.

Skanky Burns · April 22, 2002, 21:07

Pretty Back Jackson

Hobbes · April 22, 2002, 22:13

Blind Gumbo Dupree

Goingonit · April 22, 2002, 23:01

Bony Back McGee.

At least it makes sense...

faded glory · April 22, 2002, 23:40

blind back davis

Grrr · April 23, 2002, 00:21

Sleepy Parker. (Don't have a middle name).

Ramo · April 23, 2002, 00:31

Red Boy Jackson

Ironic name.

Urban Ranger · April 23, 2002, 00:37

Hollerin' Hips Parker

Tingkai · April 23, 2002, 00:40

Hollerin Baby Smith

Buck Birdseed · April 23, 2002, 05:15

Boney Chicken Bradley

Or Boney Bones Bradley if I use my othyer middle name.

Unfortunately I can't make Boney Chicken Bones Bradley, because my middle names are in the wrong order.

Dis · April 23, 2002, 05:18

Boney Killer Rivers

redbaron · April 23, 2002, 06:01

Ugly Gumbo Jenkins

And for those of you who haven't seen this before....

The Blues Laws

1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch-ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the runnin'. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places:
a. Dillard's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you
happen to be an old ethnic person, and you sleep in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got leg up on the blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the
Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, name, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon,Lime,Kiwi,etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson,Fillmore, etc.)

For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.