This is just the first time in my life I'm drinking without company... at home, alone

[Ecthy]

What does it mean?

I always tried to avoid drinking without any background, such as a party or being together with mates. But tonight, it's different. Been in some mental trouble recently, and 'poly posters' attitude didn't make that easier, but I can't possibly say I'm in any way desperate and therefore becoming alcoholic or anything like that.

In fact it's just a beer. Nothing more than a plain beer, a good one, but only one. But you know how stuff works... one is followed by the next, and so on. And there's Whisky and Vodka waiting in the fridge

Is this the beginning of the end?

(Consider circumstances - 18 year old virgin geek living in a shabby city with decreasing population - no decent social environment; uncontent with himself due to a lack of success in social and sexual regards; more to come soon on another thread)

[Buck Birdseed]

Yes. Stop it. Now.

[Chris 62]

Drinking to ease pain is a bad idea Andy.

It does you no good.

Go out, call your friends, do something, but don't just sit there and drink.

[Ecthy]

I know. It doesn't make too much sense, now does it? I mean, the more frequently you do it, the more do you get used to the stuff... and when it becoems a habit, it's supposed to be too late... I've always opposed that, told myself I'd never do that... and while I can't say I've "started" it, I find it's an odd sign...

[Ecthy]

And before you ask:

1. My parents aren't alcoholics and never were. (just to prevent misunderstandings)

2. the whisky and vodka remark was sort of a joke, but the stuff IS there and the long term danger is apparent. It just isn't a matter for tonight...

[Dom Pedro II]

I've been down that road too. And I'm only 18... shhh.. don't squeal on me.

I have always drank because I was angry. I have seriously tried to curb it because I've seen that it doesn't do me any good, and thus far I've stopped. So cut it out! Go find some friends! Drink with them! Get laid!

[Immortal Wombat]

go to bed. Its 1 am

[Chris 62]

Your never to old to change direction.

Say you get falling down drunk, what does it get you?

Did you have fun getting there?

Of course not.

Don't worry overmuch about the girls thing.

That will come if you be yourself, and don't aim overly high.

One thing I can promise, from long years working as a bouncer, women DO NOT like drunks.

[Ecthy]

Dom Pedro - easier said than done my friend... I'm also 18, BTW

IW - will do so, just had the same thought

Chris - thanks for the advice. while I'm not that far yet, it can be helpful for a long term view.

[TCO]

You had me right up to the part where you whined about Poly posters...

[Ecthy]

I didn't whine, I stated. Besides, consider circumstances. And don't think I don't know who's to blame.

[yaroslav]

Please, Ecthelion, stop. It has no sense. There are too many problems in the world. Think on little things that make you happy... Play civ... Do anything... but stop!

[Chris 62]

Things could be worse, you could be Spinky.

[TCO]

Go to bed, Andz.

[notyoueither]

Pfff. Sometimes you just gotta tie one on. Go for it.

If it becomes something that you 'need' to do on any kind of regular basis, then worry.

Beer is fairly difficult to abuse. You need to drink vast quantities before you are seriously effected.

BTW. Some people drink moderate amounts on a daily basis because it can be good for your health. At home, alone, at night is usually when they have the daily shot. For my grand father it was a jolt of rum in his coffee just before bed. He never drank other than that 1 drink per day.

[Dom Pedro II]

1 AM? Where are you people? It's just closing on 7:00 PM here...

[Ecthy]

Looking at the last 2 replies (GP and Chris, quick place), I've got problems understanding so many posters' problem with me...

yaroslav - don't sweat it, I didn't say this is the first time I'm in hospital after being seriously toxicated.

That's it from me for tonight, folks. Good night. Keep up posting advice!

[yaroslav]

In German and others part of Europe is 1:00 AM

[orange]

No offense, Andy, but 'attitudes of Apolyton posters' is a sad thing to blame your drinking on. I know a lot of us spend a good portion of our day here...but it's not real!

That aside, repeated drinking alone is a very poor sign, and usually is an early sign of mild or servere depression. I'd suggest that you stop, and go to bed...make a point to do something tomorrow, and if you get into a situation where you're going to drink alone, do something else instead, or drink water - that way you are 'drinking' but not alcohol.

Good luck.

[Lonestar]

Join the Army. It'll get rid of all your bad habits.

Besides shooting at Foriegners.

[Dr Strangelove]

Go out and join a political party. Manipulate your way to the top. Write a best selling book about your struggles. Charm the people into following your every word. Then when they elect you make them pay for leaving you alone and desolate when you needed them the most.


OR, you can just sit there and drink and never amount to anything.

[David Floyd]

About other Poly posters - I get flamed all the time by people, but I just laugh about it, provoke more, etc. It says more about them than you, and it's just the Internet anyway, ya know?

Drinking alone, IMO, is not as big of a problem as drinking when depressed (even in groups).

[Flubber]

While i see nothing wrong with a single beer (often have one myself if watching the hockey game) I don't like the sounds of where this might be heading.

I was once a 17 year old virgin but reject the geek label. No matter how smart or awkward you are, "geekiness" (as a negative label) is simply a state of mind . DON'T EMBRACE IT !! believe it or not, some girl out there probably has liked you and there is probably one out there who likes you now.

I'm 34 now but you know what I learned round about when I was 21 ( and being still very awkard with women despite some sexual experience with gf's) YOU ARE NOT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE-- so if you ask someone out, they will say yes or no . . . and if its no, they probably won't mention it to a soul so there is no reason to be ambarrassed-- 99.999% of people won't give a rats ass and life will go on for you and for her.

The above might seem self evident but I was in my first year of law school and with no one around who knew me when i was bullied or taunted as a "geek" in high school. SO I had the opportunity to let people get to know me with no preconceptions. If you are 18 you have the same opportunites to run in new circles where no one knows about the time { insert childhood embarrasing moment here}

So after a first year of still being a bit intimidated I had a revelation and simply started asking people out-- I did the same on the friends side as well as I started inviting groups of friends over/ out for drinks etc. The reciprocal invitations flowed and I soon was pretty busy.

In second and third year law school I asked out about a dozen women and all but one said yes . . . Why?? -- because if you are halfway reasonable in your looks and approach, most girls want to give you a chance... THEY REALLY DO !! They have faced so many jerks . . . .

So my advice is put away that beer and ask out some girl . . . any girl . . . pick that ok looking girl in a class or in your gym--- she doesn't have to be your dream girl , just someone you think you could spend some time with . . . . If you have no one on mind, cakll up some friends and do something . . . If you have no closer friends right now, invite some classmates out for lunch/ dinner/movie --- Do something . . . just don't sit there drinking more beer and whisey and vodka. . . It will kill the night but you will still wake up ALONE and in the same situation you are now

[Immortal Wombat]

Anyone else think people are reasong too much into the opening post? Its not like he's turned drunken wreck overnight, nor, if he has any sense, will.

[David Floyd]

Flubber -

Remember, you'll probably have more fun with the ok/normal looking girl than the model, from my observations/limited experience.

[Imran Siddiqui]

How many beers? If it is just one, then, fine that's ok.

If you got drunk, as long as it isn't becoming a habit, that's fine too... sometimes ya need that, like nye said.

[Asher]

Woo attention threads

[Alex]

Yes, it is just a beer... Let him get drunk and that's it. Next day he will wake up with a heinous hangover and will think twice about doing it again.

(Though I can't see how someone would get drunk with one beer...)

[Lincoln]

So you changed your name again while I was gone Andz? I thought that Ecthelion was some new far out German guy who came in out of the cold. If I knew it was you I might have treated you more kindly. I can't really remember any confrontations with you but I hope that you consider me a friend. The worst will be over in no time and you will pull through by the grace of God. I will keep you in my prayers.

[*End Is Forever*]

There's nothing wrong with a couple of drinks (beer or whatever) on your own at night, providing that's all it is. I've on occasion had a whisky or two, or a beer. while chatting to people on AIM in the twilight hours. Now, if that turns into getting drunk on your own... well that's when you should start to worry.

Related question; do you consider chatting to friends (either RL or web-buddies) over the internet "socialising" or not? I'm in two minds over this one... I mean, it's hardly the same as going down the pub with your mates... but at the same time I've had far more meaningful conversations with people (including close RL friends) over the internet than I've had in a bar. I've told RL friends things over the web I'd never have divulged in one-to-one conversation... odd. Anyway, do tell...