This is it, I am kicking - Page 2

Boris Godunov · June 3, 2002, 22:03

Quote:

[SIZE=1] thats a good question. Do anti-depressants help with addiction? ****, that make you happy...even if you've got nothing to be happy for.

Apparently, they don't help with depression, so why would they help with addiction?

Blisterz · June 4, 2002, 00:17

Quote:

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Blisterz;

You'll be in our thoughts.

If it's not to much trouble (I totally understand if you don't want to), but could you give a synopsis of how your heroin use began? You yourself could one day become the motivational speaker, helping others kick it as well.

My sister-in-law works with heroin addicts at a recovery clinic in MD. Says it's not for the faint of heart, especially for the "newbies."

Cheers and best wishes.

I don't have alot of time, but I will give you the short version of the story.

I was living with a close friend of mine (for the sake of the story we will call her sara), she was and addict and a few years older then me. She told me that if she ever caught me using she would kill me. She started hanging out with another guy in our apartment building all the time, and I was getting jellious that she was never spending any time with me (I was young). One of her friends one night asked me to borrow 20 bucks to pick up a point. I told him only if he hit me as well. He fliped and said Sara would kill him and he left. About 4 hours later sick as **** he came back to my room and said he would hit me as well. So to shorten the story, I did it, just so she would 1)feal guilty for leaving me alone all the time (I forgot to mention that I moved cities to live with her, so I didnt know anyone). 2) take me along as well when she was going off to get high.

Go ahead and laugh if you want, I know how stupid I was. I even laugh at the story.

Blisterz · June 4, 2002, 01:27

Quote:

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
Yes, Valium can be good. Good luck, mate!

Well, it's Adavan <---- spelling? If you want to get technical

My friends mom is one of those moms that is a walking pharmacy.
She has one of the monday to sunday pill thingys, and the lid does not even come close to closing. She is one of the many 'legal' drug addicts. Hell, half the stuff she takes even scares me.

Blisterz · June 4, 2002, 02:55

I don't really understand how the stars work, but this thread got 5 stars

Whatever that means, I like it

Blisterz · June 4, 2002, 05:13

Ok, I am off to bed, tommorrow will be my first day without a hit for breakfest and methadone for lunch. The more I think about all the money I will save, the more I start to look around the room at all the shelf space I need to fill with fun toys

(and time for a computer upgrade! ).

Later everyone

and thanks for all the well wishing, I really need it.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · June 4, 2002, 05:15

Not to get too doom-mongering, but watch the Valium. Some reckon they're harder to quit than heroin.

Blisterz · June 4, 2002, 05:18

Quote:

Originally posted by Ron Jeremy
Not to get too doom-mongering, but watch the Valium. Some reckon they're harder to quit than heroin.

Tis ok, I only have 5. just for the really rough days.

Space05us · June 4, 2002, 05:26

Best of luck to you!

devilmunchkin · June 4, 2002, 18:36

good luck..you can do it

Moral Hazard · June 4, 2002, 19:03

Good Luck. You have my sympathies not only in quitting but getting your life in order after you quit. Considering you might have to build a whole new circle of friends (perhaps not depending on your friends now)

About locking addicts up, it works in some cases. One of my friends was locked up in an asylum (treatment center) and managed to kick the habit. He went back a year later however.

You don't mind if I ask how you supported the habit? None of my friends (3 of them) who got really bad could hold down a job after a while.

Zoid · June 4, 2002, 19:32

Good luck Blisterz!

Tiamat · June 5, 2002, 17:58

It will be hard but stay strong. I know how hard it is, I've had someone in my family in treatment. You have to keep your faith and determination to come through it and see the light at the end of the tunel. Always focus on that

You can do it....you've already made one of the hardest steps. Admitting you need help is half the battle

Blisterz · June 11, 2002, 14:06

I am a free man!

You know, that gets harder and harder the older I get (detoxxing that is). So I swear to/at anyone/anything that will listen that I will never end up down that road again. I am actuly thinking about putting myself into this 28 treatment program (you have to of been clean for a month before you can even step up an appointment (not that they would know, but I may as well be honest with myself/them).

Ok, well thanks for all the kind words befrore I left.

I think I will go camping today

Caligastia · June 11, 2002, 14:19

Quote:

Originally posted by Blisterz
I am a free man!

You know, that gets harder and harder the older I get (detoxxing that is). So I swear to/at anyone/anything that will listen that I will never end up down that road again. I am actuly thinking about putting myself into this 28 treatment program (you have to of been clean for a month before you can even step up an appointment (not that they would know, but I may as well be honest with myself/them).

Ok, well thanks for all the kind words befrore I left.

I think I will go camping today

Good idea. How long have you been clean for then?

Blisterz · June 11, 2002, 14:27

A little over a week now. The chills and sweats just ended a day ot so ago, the vomiting and the shits a few days before that. I kinda got off on a bad foot with a few of the night staff nurses so they were refusing to give me anything (clonadine is a blood presure med but it works wonders for commin' off junk) I am still having a really hard time sleeping (I have spent more of my adult life on heroin then off, so I guess thats should not come as a huge surprise).

I kinda need to change my evening play time enviroment though, almost all my friends are junkies, coke heads or speed freaks...
*SIGH* maybe its time for a move, i need to get some distance from vancouver. (if you know canada you will get that statment).

Boris Godunov · June 11, 2002, 14:32

Blisterz,

Good work, keep it up, man. You're strong and I'm sure you will stay clean.

Get away from there. The temptation is just too great, and there's nothing wrong with picking up, going somewhere new and starting a new life. In fact, it's totally exciting (I did it myself 3 years ago). Scarey, sure, but not as scarey as the thought of going back on heroin, I bet.

I can't remember of you said you were gay or not, but if so, you might want to check out one of the gay-friendly cities in the U.S., like NYC, Washington, San Francisco, etc.

Caligastia · June 11, 2002, 14:34

Well done Blisterz, I would definitely advise an extended camping trip.

Blisterz · June 11, 2002, 14:41

Quote:

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Blisterz,

Good work, keep it up, man. You're strong and I'm sure you will stay clean.

Get away from there. The temptation is just too great, and there's nothing wrong with picking up, going somewhere new and starting a new life. In fact, it's totally exciting (I did it myself 3 years ago). Scarey, sure, but not as scarey as the thought of going back on heroin, I bet.

I can't remember of you said you were gay or not, but if so, you might want to check out one of the gay-friendly cities in the U.S., like NYC, Washington, San Francisco, etc.

LOL, not too scary for me, I do it every few years or so. The longest I have lived in on city since I was 14 was 2 1/2 years (that is here).

On another note, I really have some harsh words about the current methods that are use (at least in alot of Canada/US detoxs) for medical detoxx. like lumping a 23 year old junkie and 70 year old alcoholic in a room together and expect anyone to find any 'peace in that envirment is beyond me. I could go on and on, but I would like to stay in a posi-smilin' mood today. I will save my banter about drug rehab reform for anyother day

- Groucho - · June 11, 2002, 14:50

Good luck, Blisterz! Sounds like you've made it over the hard part.

C0ckney · June 11, 2002, 16:24

Good luck man, congrats so far, maybe you should move somewhere else, get a new start in life?

Blisterz · June 11, 2002, 16:34

Quote:

Originally posted by Echinda
Good luck, Blisterz! Sounds like you've made it over the hard part.

If you only knew how wrong you are.
The next couple of months are going to be the hardest.
Getting off was easy compared to staying off.
I am just going to have a hard time without alot of my friends. I mean most of them are not bad people really, just in a bad place (alot of them have been in that place for way too long to know any diffrent). Just the thought of not being able to hang out with alot of them really hurts

Oh well I am just rants, ignore me.

Caligastia · June 11, 2002, 16:38

Avoid those friends. Find some friends who are clean and go on a long camping trip. Moving to another city would also be a good idea.

- Groucho - · June 11, 2002, 16:39

No, you're right. I thought about it after I posted but figured, what the hell, no use pointing out the negatives.

You should seriously thinking about showing Vancouver your back. Smack is just too easy to get there. Have you got any friends/relatives in a city that you've never lived in? One where it would be easier to start setting up a non-smack lifestyle?

Moral Hazard · June 11, 2002, 17:36

Congrats!

red_jon · June 11, 2002, 18:07

Focus on other things. Like a food you like. And eat until you fall unconcsious

Blisterz · June 14, 2002, 21:09

Today has been rough, I almost 'fell off the wagon' today, (so to speak).

Is it just me, or are there heroin inuendos <---- spelling? in way too many Televisons shows?

Alas, I think it may just be me...
"the brain of a junkie will find junk in all things" to quote Uncle Bill (William S. Burroughs)

Ramo · June 14, 2002, 21:57

Good luck to ya, Blisterz.

Boris Godunov · June 14, 2002, 22:06

Stay on the goddamned wagon, Blisterz, or we're coming out there you kick your butt.

Blisterz · June 14, 2002, 22:08

Quote:

Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Stay on the goddamned wagon, Blisterz, or we're coming out there you kick your butt.

thanks lol

BTW check your PM

Zkribbler · June 14, 2002, 22:23

Okay, Blisterz! You can do it!