Forging an Empire

[Metaliturtle]

Inspiration hit and I was all, "I think I'll write now." I hope for this to be my first epic, as always, stories that I get feedback on tend to be better than ones I don't, keep that in mind when you read this, I want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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Tribal life is a difficult life, especially when you have competetion for control. Young Alexander knew this all too well. He envisioned his Grecian Empire streching across the entire planet, unfortunately for him, he couldn't even get his empire to strech across the river.

Alexander's tribe was known as the Athena worshippers, because they gave homage to the goddess Athena. Across the river, they worshipped nothing but war, and therefore worshipped only Aries.

Alexander had been taught by some of the greatest thinkers, thinkers which, to this day, affect the way we learn, the way we govern, and even the ways we speak to one another. This is the effect Alexander had, for without him spreading these great thinker's ideas throughout the world, our society would be nowhere near what it is today.

But I get ahead of myself, back to our friend Alexander.

"I'm telling you Christos, if we tame the beasts we hunt, it will be much easier to provide for our families, and we can therefore pursue more intellectual paths. "

"But Alexander, surely you realize that this will never work with the warrior nation across the river, they'd sneak over here and kill our animals easily. "

"Ah, but what if we trick them?"

"What are you talking about Alexander?"

"Well, these people thirst for war, correct?"

"Yes... but I cannot see how that would have anything to do with our tricking them."

"It has everything to do with our tricking them, look at this here."

"It is a nice piece of cloth Alexander, but I'm still confused."

"Well, Christos, this here is called a flag, it represents ownership from a distance. Combine this with the new bronze weopons Bronzos invented, and we can force them into submission."

"I still don't see how, but I like the neon green."

"We erect a flagpole in our town, and hoist it above the ground so they can see it across the river, then, we tell them we can make them one if they sign a contract."

"And what will the contract say, Alexander?"

"Here's the best part, Christos, the contract will say that any man who worships only Athena, may claim any land of anyone who ever worshipped Aries, through force. Being warriors, they will think nothing of it, and will happily sign."

"Oh I see, us not telling them about the bronse will give us the advantage, and thusly, our people will go over there and beat them into a submissive state, thereby uniting both sides of the river into..."

"Athens"

And so, it came to pass, of the first instance where the government royally screwed ignorant people through a contract.

Alexander, of course, was more than pleased with himself, and his "cattle" was forging Athens into the greatest city on earth. The bronse warriors of his war of unification became known as the Hopelites, and the name stuck to all Grecians who were exceptionally good with bronze weaponry.

The empire was growing, and Alexander was making a name for himself by branching out. First Sparta was created, and it was there where he felt he should train his warriors, barracks were soon built, and the men toiled in the mines, or climbed the mountainous terrain, in the hopes of becoming strong enough for the glorious Greek army.

Another city of note was Delphi, an oasis in a desert, Delphi was surrounded by things the empire needed, salt flats, gold deposits, oil for lamps and greek fire, and insence, soon thereafter, Greece became famous for it's wonderful smelling women, and men flocked to Greece's cities.

Many many years went by, and Greece grew unobstructed, until one day a group of surveyors ran into a problem.

"Markos, check your map, that isn't supposed to be there, IS IT?"

"What do I look like Nicholas, a cartographer?"

"Well, If I'm not mistaken, that is a city, and unless I'm further mistaken, that flag is not that of glorious Greece!"

Nicholas was correct, it was a city, a Roman city....

To be continued pending interest

Authors note: This is probably the most I've written, but I feel it's one of my better pieces.

[Metaliturtle]

Well, I thought I'd call it done for the night, but then I remembered something, in all of my stories, where there be Romans, there be orgies, and suddenly I got a second wind.

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Markos and Nicholas had heard rumors about a people who flew a blood-red banner, and participated in acts too atrocious even to mention, but they were under the impression that these were old wives' tales used soley for the enjoyment of a tale, and to precaution against multiple partner intercourse. Now, here they were, in Hispalis, summer home of the Great Roman Emperor, Caesar.

The two young men, tired from their journey, were pleased when the Roman Emperor showed them the most generous hospitality ever given to men of their status.

Although known for making love, the Roman people were actually very warlike, so much so that the Romans had only an alphabet which was stolen from the English, and thus, Markos's surveying instruments were percieved as new weapons which could destroy Rome.

"Gentlemen, come in! come in! Enjoy my summer home, it is not much, but I am sure two fine warriors like yourselves can find it more than reasonable as far as accomodations go."

The men were astonished, MORE than reasonable?! The floors were pure gold!! A fact which was apparent upon arrival to the two surveyors.

Caesar soon noticed their admiration, and was confused.

"Gentlemen, may I ask why you are continuously staring at my floor?"

"Sir, your floors are gold."

"So?"

"Well, can we have some gold?"

"Certainly, although I don't see what it's good for, I mean besides flooring, doing some decorating to your homes are you?"

"Not yet, but we certainly will when we get back"

The men were given 10 carts full of gold each, and a crack Roman team of special forces to drive them back to Athens, along with a letter of introduction written by Caesar himself.

Alexander was ecstatic when he heard the news. He could finally eliminate the barter system which was dominating the Grecian markets, but he needed that gold.

He summoned Nicholas.

"Nicholas, you have amassed quite a fortune there."

"Yes sir, what of it?"

"How would you like to show your patriotic spirit, and "donate" some of your gold to the government?"

"Hell no, I'm making flooring from it like Caesar did."

"So be it."

Alexander called Markos into his chambers.

"Markos, your cunning in aquiring this wealth shows that you can think in larger terms than most men."

"That I can."

"What would you say if I said I want you to be my financial advisor?"

"Dude, what you been smoking?"

"I'm serious Markos, just picture it, you, a high-ranking government official like Christos, maker of flags."

"What's the catch?"

"I need money to make money."

Markos was intrigued at this, and thus gave Alexander 9 of his 10 carts o' gold, and began the most difficult endeavor a Grecian had taken on up to that point.

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ok, now to be continued pending feedback

[jongon]

i love it

[Metaliturtle]

Man I'm pumped on this story
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The idea was so simple it was brilliant, coins, money, currency, the root of all evil, the uniter of an empire. This new invention served several purposes and made controlling the empire much easier for Alexander.

The first thing money did, the thing Alexander wanted it to do, was eliminate the barter system that all cultures up to that point had relied upon for centuries. This made the exchange of goods much simpler, and helped to create a more scientific minded general public, as now they didn't have to find a pig to trade for twenty horshoes and then find someone who wanted to trade 16 horshoes for something else, instead they paid for the four horshoes and went home, or to places of learning.

Coinage helped to unite Greece as well, you see, Greece was now so large, that not everyone knew what Alexander looked like, and thus his face was on every coin, now people knew who brought them the prosperity they enjoyed almost overnight.

Coinage also added on to the empire of Greece. The gold Caesar had supplied was already forging his downfall, as Greek merchants in Hispalis and Lundinium put these coins into Roman circulation, and here is where the installment begins.

"Pontus, bring me one of those, 'Coins' which are destroying my EMPIRE! "

"Just a moment Caesar."

"Who would have thought that my people would leave me because I do not know how to mass produce Tiny discs of gold!! Whomever is behind this atrocity against the Roman Empire will pay dearly for this, and I assure you, it will NOT be in stupid little discs of FLOORING!!!"

"Here you are sir."

"Who's that man on there, and what does the inscription say?"

"The man, my liege, is none other than Alexander the Great of Greece, and the inscription reads 'coined in Athens under the supervision of Markos, Financial advisor to Greece."

"You don't mean Markos whom we paid 10 carts of gold to?"

"My guess is that very same one, Greece does not produce much gold on it's own, but, an influx of even one cart of gold could have brought this about."

"Those sneaky Greek sons of whores!! Turning my flooring against my Empire!!! I will not rest untill I may do the same!!"

"But sir, Greek flooring is predominantly clay, and is simple and cheap to make anywhere."

"But coins are not cheap for him to make, Pontus, we need to flood the world with Roman coin, making the Greek coin obsolete by sheer volume!!"

"That's brilliant sir! How do you plan on going about this?"

"You mean we don't have a Coin maker?!"

"I'm sorry sir, we need to invent one."

"Invent?, what's Invent?"

"Somebody has to figure out how to make a coin maker."

"Why don't they just stop being stupid and figure out how to make coins??!? Look, go outside, and find 100 smart-looking people, and tell them that if there isn't either 1,000,000 gold coins, or a coin maker by the end of the week, they're DEAD!"

And so it was on, Rome, vaguely aware of a sub-par technological status, conscripted it's first scientific body, and surprisingly, these men performed remarkably well, they had made a coin maker, and next to it, the first 1,000,000 roman denarii, each one with a flattering picture of Caesar on the front.

Now, you may be thinking, "the Greeks lost, there's no hope, Rome will be the commercial giants of the world." Not so, Alexander was brought up by the best minds in the world after all, and he had another ingenious solution.

"Alexander, LOOK!"

"AAAAAAH! That's not MEEEE!!!"
He was upset.

"No sire, it is Caesar of Rome, he loved your idea so much he copied it."

"Get Markos in here."

"I really hoped it wouldn't come to this maneuver.."

"What maneuver?"
It was Markos.

Alexander flipped the coin at Markos's feet, Markos picked it up.
"What's this?"

"That, Markos, is the abominable emulation of our great idea!"

"Caesar finally caught on huh?"

"Yes he did, and our best intelligence indicates that he is going to saturate our markets with Roman coin."

"And you have a plan to stop this?"

"Yes, what if, instead of a 1, we carve a 10, thus making 100 of ours worth 1000 of his?"

"It's a gamble, we just have to hope he doesn't catch on before his gold mining town switches to our side."

"What else can we do though?"

"We could fart in his general direction, but I like your idea better, now if you'll excuse me sire, I have some business that can wait no longer."

"Understood, farewell Markos."

As Markos gingerly trotted towards the "other" throne room, Alexander's servant ran hurriedly to the mint to change the dyes to read 10 instead of 1, this was easy, as he just needed to add a zero. The coinage war over the gold mining town was on.

Although technically Roman, the citizens of the gold mining town felt fairly alienated from the rest of Rome, and for good reason, they weren't allowed to leave, because none of them knew the new value gold had on the world economy. They were still under the impression that they were mining low-cost flooring materials. What they did know, however, was that this treatment was wrong.

"I hereby call to order the Annual town meeting for the gold mining town! Our first and only order of business, joining the Greek empire. Does anybody have anything to say about this?"

A one-armed man stood up.
"I do"
The room went silent. It was Josephus, the most respected man in the gold mining town.

"Well go ahead Josephus."

"We've mined these mines for hundreds of years, and were free to go for all that time, it wasn't until recently that we'd been quarantined in this town, I say we leave Rome as soon as possible!"

Thus the debate started, and continued on late into the night.

-----------The Exciting Conclusion, when I write again-----------

[Metaliturtle]

As previously implied, the debates went on long into the night, for separating from Rome would mean separation from a lot more than just a state.

"Explain again Josephus, how we can "leave" Rome, and still be here"

"Our alliegance will no longer be to Rome."

"So Greece will get our flooring?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I don't like it."

"Why not?"

"The Greeks don't know the value of a good arousing Roman Orgy."

"Like you do? You know very well that you have not seen, and certainly have not been invited to one."

"Don't rub it in Josephus."

"Anybody else not like the idea of joining the Greeks?"

"ME!!"
It was Rommus, the leader of the Roman Legions, and a native to the gold mining town.

The people hushed to hear what Josephus had to say, they had been rivals since they were children, and some think that Josephus blamed Rommus for the loss of his arm.

"Rommus?"

"What, criminal?"

"EAT STUB JERKHOLE!!"

Sure enough, Josephus had smacked Rommus's face with the stub of his arm, knocking Rommus unconscious, and leaving his side of the debate unopposed, the gold mining town would join Greece, but before that could happen, a few things needed to be done.

The first thing the people did was lower the blood red roman banner, and drag it slowly through the street, making sure that the people had time to properly "show their respects." The second thing they did was dismantle the statue of Romulus which stood as a constant and ugly reminder of Rome in the center of town.

Now, Greece didn't need to worry about losing the money war to Rome, the Greeks controlled most of the world's gold, whereas the Romans now controlled none of it, if Rome wished to continue it's currency making venture, they would have to use Greek gold, which could only be purchased, of course, with Greek gold coins.

And thus the great coinage war was nearing an end, but the fires of a hotter war flared within Caesar, he wanted revenge on the Greeks, and he wanted it now.

Ironically, the Romans still had no concept of Mapmaking, so Caesar was still afraid of the surveying equipment Markos had used so long ago. He had nightmares where Markos pointed his instrument, and light shot out of it swifter than any arrow, resulting in a huge explosion just behind Caesar, that is when he would always wake up in a cold sweat.

But the currency war had taught Caesar one thing, and that was the need to be technologically superior to ones enemies, a lesson he would not soon forget.

------------To be continued pending feedback-----------

[cbraund]

Hmm... Interesting.

A bit weird, but good nonetheless.

Chris

[johncmcleod]

Though you're obviously not an economics professor, this is really good! I like it a whole lot better than your other stories.

[jongon]

keep it up

[unscratchedfoot]

its alright

[Metaliturtle]

As you know, Alexander's success with the bloodthirsty Romans was primarily based upon Caesar's fear of the surveying equipment, a fact that had eluded Alexander. For all his experience in dealing with Caesar, Alexander had assumed that the Roman army was weak, especially when the captain got beat up by a one armed man, who was using the BAD arm.

Alexander was about to get a wakeup call from Caesar, when the 100 smart-looking people came in with a way to navigate over the oceans.

"Caesar, you will be pleased with this!"

Caesar saw the equipment which he felt was high powered weaponry, and got extremely exited.

"Good job people, when can we test fire it?"

"Test fire? What do you speak of Caesar?"

"Don't try to trick me, I wasn't born yesterday, that's the Greek superweapon in Roman form!!"

"I regret to say sir, but it is not."

"It is NOT!!! Then why waste my time?!"

"Please, sir, it's a surveyor's rod, we can use this to tell us where we are, and how big things are and how far they are from each other and such."

"I ALREADY KNOW THAT!! We are in ROME, it is FRICKEN HUGE, and if you don't start making sense, my foot will be getting less and less far from you're rear in a rapid fasion!!"

"That's not all sir, with this technology, we can travel on WATER!"

"Well whoopdee friggin' doo!"

"We have some good news however sir"

"Yeah, what's that?"

"If that equipment isn't a weapon, we should be able to take the gold mining town back without any opposition."

"That's Right! Find 100 more smart-looking people and double the research facility, we're entering a new age!"

Alexander was strolling along the river with his son, lovingly known as Alexander the second, or just plain 2 to his friends. They were discussing the politics of the day such as the differences between pie and stuffed pastries, and why food could rule the world if only it ate people. 2 had a large imagination.

All this was interrupted by a sound in the distance towards the delta of the river. As the sound grew nearer, they started to pick out one or two notes. Soon they were hearing the unmistakable sound of the roman army anthem. And then, they saw the blood red flag.

"Father, what are the Romans doing on the river?"

"I honestly don't know son, but this is the first time I've seen them use a boat."

Sure enough, the Romans were on a boat, one too large for the river, and shortly, the Roman boat became stuck. The Roman captain was angry with his men, they held fear of Neptune, and thusly didn't want anything to do with water in the least. The captain ordered his men out of the boat to push.

In a slightly humorous motion, all of the men jumped out of the boat and onto shore. The loss in weight made the boat bouyant again, and when the men saw this they all jumped back on. As expected, the vessel became stuck yet again, and all the men jumped off. This time the captain gave the order to push, and soon a roman legion was chasing their boat up the river.

Alexander and son didn't sit idly by while this happened, they were busy, they climbed up onto a nearby roof, ordered bows, and practiced their archery skills on the confused trespassers.

"Claudius I've been shot in the foot!"

"So what? I just got shot in the bum!"

2 wasn't that great of a shot, but the bum one was a direct hit, he was having a good time.

"Son, that is cruel, remember, if you kill them in one shot you get ice cream when we get home."

"Ok Dad."

2 was soon downing legions with creative shots to the neck as well as one powerful shot that pierced the armor of a legionarry.

The legionarries were dropping to the arrows, but the Alexanders soon ran out of ammunition. Fortunately, the Greek regular national guard had arrived with their notorious bronze weaponry. Now it was the Legion's time to shine.

-----------when we return, the battle-----------

[johncmcleod]

Keep it up!

posted by Metaliturtle
"Son, that is cruel, remember, if you kill them in one shot you get ice cream when we get home."

lol!

[dnassman]

This is funny and really good. Keep going.

[Metaliturtle]

The results of the Naval folly of the Romans in Athens was soon on the lips of every town crier in the known world, jokes like 'how many Romans does it take to beach a boat?' and sailors refusing to wear red so as to not get the curse of the seagoing Roman were far flung. This news reached every working ear in Greece, as the people began preparations for war.

News of the poorly planned Roman assault reached nations under Roman subjugation as well. A young woman in what was left of England began making a name for herself when she dedicated her people to building the finest ships the world has ever seen, in the hopes of beating the Romans technologically, where she had failed in size.

Caesar was humiliated. He called in his 200 smart looking people, and began to initiate the brutal act of decimation.

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and you will take the blame for this humiliation upon the empire."

You see, decimation was the practice of eliminating one tenth of an offending force, usually used by the military, if the soldiers weren't arranged in perfect rows of ten, they knew someone had deserted, to prevent this from hapening, they enacted the practice of decimation, thus, should a man try to desert the army, the other soldiers would either kill him, or beat him until he couldn't move, and thusly spare their lives. Caesar's use was a bastardization of that principle, but it didn't matter, Caesar was emperor, and what the emperor says, goes.

The executioners marched solemnly into the room, twenty executioners, twenty men, it was a tense moment, the guards were waiting for one of the men to make a break for it. Much to the disappointment of the executioners, the men died more or less innocent, their only crime was being under Caesar's fickle finger of fate dictatorship.

In Athens, the experienced Greek sailors saw that, indeed, the Roman boat was well crafted, it was just too heavy, when loaded with a fully armored Roman legion, to go up a three foot deep river. The Romans may have had a good boat, but someone had a mega Roman brain fart when it came to water displacement.

Before Alexander could fully set his sights on war with the Romans, he had to play one of his cards, what to do with the captured Roman Legion? He could use them as archery targets for his son, or even better, his new longbowmen units, but what fun was that? He decided to send one back with the message that the others would not live long unless Caesar called off his dogs of war.

"Not live long? So he's gonna execute them. What did he think I would do with them, give them a hero's welcome? He knows very well that I would kill them as soon as they got onto Roman soil, what gave him the idea that I would want otherwise?"

The messenger boy suddenly came to a realization.
"But sir, surely you won't-" Caesar had shot him through the jugular with a crossbow, the golden floors no longer sparkled in Caesar's palace, as all of the spilt blood was beginning to turn the floors orange.

Meanwhile, Alexander was trying to learn military strategy from captured Roman documents, and an Egyptian who ended up in Crete, and claimed she was the leader of the Charioteers of Egypt. She wouldn't say her name, so everybody just called her, 'Egyptian.' Alexander quickly clued her in about how chariots would be entirely ineffective in the mountainous terrain, so they began work on something called a 'knight.' This they felt, would give them an edge against the Roman legions.

"Egyptian, what if we armored the horse and rider from head to toe? Wouldn't the added protection give them a noticeable advantage over a Roman soldier?"

"Yes it would, but we can only use very powerful horses."

"That should not be a problem, we can modify the packhorses they use on the docks, if they can pull a ship, they can carry one armorclad man."

"Brilliant."

"Thank you."

The Roman army was on the march, anybody could tell they were expertly trained, for the ground shook as they all stepped in unison. At the head was none other than the great Caesar himself. Presently, they approached the gates of the gold mining town, and this is where Caesar would get to enact a punishment on behalf of the Greeks.

Alexander, needing room in the prison, sent all of the naval prisoners to the gold mining town to mine gold under watch of two guards each.

"Make them work the gold mines."

"Yes sir!"

"And make sure, that when the Romans begin their march, you put gags in their mouths, shove a helmet over their heads, and put them outside of the city gates with the promise that if one of them kills ten of the advancing army, that you will come and save them and they will be pardoned."

So it was, when Caesar saw the raggedly dressed men who fought like their lives depended upon it come out of the gates, he was impressed with their skill.

"It is a shame we have to kill these fine warriors, half-naked and unarmed, they are still doing extremely well against the army."

Soon one of the bodies was brought before Caesar for examination, on the shoulder was the brand of the Roman Army, and underneath it, a new burn which read: 'Naval Commander.'

"DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM TO HADES!!!"

"What do you mean Caesar?"

"Alexander has turned my own men against me, and all my glorious battle to rid the world of every Grecian has come to Romans willingly killing each other!!!"

There was a hideous Swish-thunk past Caesar's head, the Grecian arrow had narrowly missed Caesar and landed in the abdomen of the dead Roman.

"THEY ARE ATTACKING FROM THE FORTIFICATION, BRING THE RAMS UP NOW!!!"

The battle was on, it seemed everyone inside of the town was taking part in the archery attack, even Josephus hurled stones from a sling as hard as he could.

At the first ram's connection with the doorway, a small crack formed in the wood, soon the vat of melted tar was brought up to the wall overlooking this ominous behemoth of the Roman war machine.

Thudddddd. The small crack became an average sized crack. Thuddddd. The crack was growing larger with each swing of the ram.

"Dump the tar NOW!!!"

Josephus timed it so that the tar landed on the connection with the doorway, this way the men letting go and running wouldn't give the romans any extra leverage.

The tar itself did very little damage, but when the firey arrows landed a half-second later, the whole contraption became engulfed in flames. The heat was unbearable, and the men ran back and hid behind shields in preparation for the next archery strike.

Spirits rose in the gold mining town, they thought that the legions were retreating, but Caesar wasn't about to go down at the loss of a battering ram, soon, a Roman engineer corps was sent out to look for materials for making a catapult, in the meantime, Caesar got further from the dangerous part of the battle.

While the parts for the siege weapon were being searched for, the front became stalemated for the time being, the roman curved shields deflected a lot of arrows, but soon one or two would pierce the shield, and then more, until the front row of shields looked more like a vertical forest of arrows than military equipment.

Will the catapults finish off the mining town, which had suffered so much to become part of Greece?
OR
Will the Grecian knights arrive in the nick of time and save the day?

Keep reading for the conclusion of: The Battle

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Author's note: Remember to vote for this when it's Prelims time!!

[dnassman]

Very good. And i will vote for it in the prelims.

[unscratchedfoot]

You got a good imagination. Considering this is a comedy the battle was very realistic. I was expecting you to have catapults launching various kinds of farm animals onto the town in a monty python fashion.

[Metaliturtle]

Battles are never as simple as they appear on the outside. This was a fact Caesar knew well, and was having to deal with presently. A messenger had arrived from the roman port city of Veii with some disturbing news for Caesar.

"I'm sorry for interrupting our soon to be glorious victory o Caesar, but pressing news comes from Veii."

"What is it?"

"The English have made a successful attack upon the city."

"You mean those savages who always wore the ugly clothing colored like a blood stain?"

"Yes sir."

"Well sack their towns! Do I have to lead every Roman army?"

"It's not that simple, Caesar."

"Not that simple!? What's so hard about sending an overwhelming amount of soldiers to take the remnants of a once mediocre state?"

The servant had a grave look on his face.
"They have Augustus"

"MY SON?!"

It should be noted that, although Caesar cared naught for the lives of his men, and very little for the lives of his wives, Augustus was his eldest son, and thus, rightful heir to Rome, and, like any worried parent, Caesar would do anything to save the life of his child.

"Yes sir, your son, which is why we are afraid to sack the towns, for he'll be killed, or worse, eaten! Even cultured savages, like the English don't do well when they cannot grow food."

"How DARE you think such a thing?!"

"Sir, it is the message I was told to bring to you."

"Do the English have a ransom request?"

"Yes Sir, they want their old cities back under their control, with the addition of Veii, realize, sir, that as long as our army is here, they don't need our permission and will be able to take these cities."

Just then the Engineers returned.
"Caesar, the catapults have been constructed, shall we begin the submission bombardment?"

"No, come, let's withdrawl."

"But sir-"

"DO IT OR DIE!!"

News of the retreat had reached Alexander back in Athens. The defenses thought up by the Egyptian and himself were apparently effective, but since Alexander did not know of the existence of the English, he could not be sure why his defenses were effective.

Still, by not needing the knights to defend the city, the Greeks were left with options, some of which were very lucrative. Plans were laid out for an amphibious assault upon the city of Rome itself.

"With the Romans fearful of our army, victory should be swift."

"Alexander, I would not underestimate the Roman war machine, their withdrawl was rather mysterious."

"EVERYTHING is mysterious with you isn't it, EGYPTIAN? Did it ever occur to you that the Romans would rather poo in their togas than be engaged in combat with a Greek?"

Alexander proceeded to lay out a rather impressive small scale mock battlefield of Rome based mainly upon maps stolen from the now called 'floating folly' of Rome. The culmination of this plan was the use of the Roman ship as the lead ship of the Greek assault. This twist of irony was the best part in Alexander's opinion, and he was going to make sure it was seen through to the end.

Upon Caesar's arrival back in Rome, the palace was in chaos. Questions buzzed in every mind, including ones like, 'do the Greeks know the English exist?' and more importantly, 'will they do a multi faceted attack upon mighty Rome?'

"Any word on my son?"

"None sir."

"Does anybody know where he is being held?"

"I don't think so, sir."

"Does anybody know anything?"

Meanwhile, the English were enjoying the power they now held over the head of their opressor.

More with feedback ((hehe, Dad needs on the computer))

[Metaliturtle]

Anyway, back to England. As stated before, they were enjoying the power they held over their opressors, and, although they wouldn't kill Caesar's son, Caesar didn't know that, and thus the English began making demands of the Romans.

The English didn't know that they had so much pull thanks in part, to the Greeks. Elizabeth just came to the conclusion that the Romans did something stupid and were now paying the price.

Thus, Caesar seriously considered giving up the former English cities, but fate dealt him a different hand.

"Caesar, our ports are under attack!"

"No Duh! The English have had Veii blocaded since they kidnapped my son!"

"No sir, not Veii."

"Then WHERE?!"

"Rome, sir."

Caesar went to the window to see the harbor, sure enough, there were 5 Greek ships firing arrows at anything and everything that moved.

"*&%$!!! Why did everything turn on me all of a sudden?!"

"It was your naval attack sir.."

"YOU'RE TICKING ME OFF!! GUARDS! KILL HIM!!"

Meanwhile, the Greek boats weren't faring as well as could be desired, their transport ships were lagging behind, and, they were running short on arrows. Finally, the order was given to go further offshore and anchor until the transports arrived.

Caesar saw this, and when the ships pulled back, he thought the greeks were withdrawing.

"They're out of Ammo, get out there NOW!! I want them FINISHED!!!"

"Yes sir"

Because of the previously unsuccessful naval assault, the Romans made a few modifications to their boats, and now piloted craft that looked more like longboats than the standard Galleys of the day.

The big mistake Caesar made was that he thought the Grecian boats were unarmed now that they couldn't fire arrows. Almost anybody who has heard of the Greeks has heard of Greek fire, but Caesar hadn't, so when his boats suddenly came across a sea of fire, they were extremely surprised, and they soon turned back.

"Captain!!! I see the transports!!"

"Send the signal for the knights to begin their siege."

"Aye Aye"

The largest ship had lots of activity on it all of a sudden, and a decently sized catapult was being assembled upon it's deck.

Upon completion, a large vat was placed upon it, which was puzzling to the Romans.

Suddenly, the men on the ship lit the vat and sent it flying. It was Greek Fire, and it was hurtling towards Caesar's Palace!!

The knights saw this, and ran out of their cover, charging a city that was, somewhat preoccupied at the moment.

The palace was in chaos, nobody could find Caesar, and the heavy gold floors wouldn't be held up for long by the weakened structural material. A bucket brigade was set up from Caesar's bath house, and brave Roman citizens risked almost certain death to save their emperor.

"Why are you burning down my palace?!!! I'm surrounded by fricken Idiots for Jupiter's sake!!"

"Caesar, you're alive!!!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT!! Doesn't anybody realize we're at WAR!!!?"

It was then that the knights charged into Rome.

[Metaliturtle]

I'm going to be gone for a while (until saturday), so it may be some time until this story gets added to, but, if you all would be so kind as to post what you would like to see next, if I like an idea I'll try to work it in.

[johncmcleod]

How about Caesar gets away from the attack but a couple days later Alexander sends an elite force of knights behind enemy lines to capture him. He gets captured, and Alexander tells Rome Caesar's life would be spared if they became one with Greece. And they do, so Greece becomes a big empire. Then they discover a couple other civs, and there's a large war with 2 or 3 civs against Greece and her ally or allies, in the medievil age. And if you put the Zulus in the game, please make them on Greece's side. They're my favorite civ, and in almost all of the stories they're savages, technologically backwards, and bad guys.

[Metaliturtle]

good idea, give me a little time to put it into the works though, and remember to vote everyone please.

[Metaliturtle]

I liked the escape idea, but I had some other plans for Caesar and the Romans, but thanks John, also, if you want to read a good zulu story, read Zulu Rules by Samuel Johnson, that's one of my personal Favorites.
---------------------------------------


Rome was in a state of total chaos. The Romans could see the heads of Greeks preparing to assault the beaches, which had been peaceful up until this battle, and now there were reports coming in of strange armor-clad men on horseback thundering rapidly towards the gate and creating a horrifying noise indeed.

"Caesar, we must get you out, Rome will not be safe much longer."

"Good Idea, my house sucks now anyway."

And the plan was put into motion. They saw that the ships would arrive well before the thundering beasts, which meant that they would be escaping through the front wall, not by a roman vessel.

Caesar's security corps was definitely very ingenius in their design on their emperor's escape. They quickly raided a Greek merchant's cart, and built a false floor which Caesar could hide under. Although Caesar was somewhat reluctant to get in when he saw that the floor was not made of gold, he was soon in place and ready to be smuggled to safety.

The Merchant's Greek flag was hoisted proudly above the cart, and the "merchant" was on his way.

"Alexander, I am pleased to report that we have taken Rome! Although they held on valiantly until the end, our signal fire was lucky enough to torch Caesar's very own palace."

"Have you found the body yet?"

"Who's body?"

"CAESAR'S you simple-minded turd toad!!"

"No sir, not yet, we're assuming that it has been lost in the fire."

"Don't assume anything, he assumed about us, and it came to bite him in the arse, I sure don't want him biting back harder!!"

"Of course sir, is there any other information you would like at this time sir?"

"What Roman cities are left?"

"We have Veii in a stalemate, and some mountainous villiages still claim loyalty to Rome, it is likely that a new capitol has been set up in Veii, although if the northern town of Byzantium has not had any agression upon it, it would be the most likely choice, as it is surrounded by mountains, and those villiagers aren't swayed by a few shiny metal discs."

"Thank you for that lecture, did anything leave Rome in that direction, because if Caesar's still breathing, I'd bet hundreds of thousands that he was on it."

"The only thing we didn't stop was a merchant cart."

"WHY NOT?!"

"It had your royal seal of free passage."

The peasant's cart turned regal way of passage was picking up speed, it was a good thing that they had found the seal of Alexander, or else all would be lost.

"How much longer must I remain in this un-gilded fester hole?"

"Shh Caesar, until we are safely within the walls of Byzantium."

"BYZANTIUM!!? That's a tourist trap if I'd ever seen one!"

"But you haven't been there before Caesar."

"Oh, well then what AM I thinking of?"

"Probably the old Hispalis"

"Yeah, wait, How did I get Hispalis out of Byzantium?"

"I don't know, but just shut up for a while now Caesar, before the Greeks realize you're gone."

Caesar wasn't in any danger, but, truth be told, Caesar was a worse passenger than 4 kids in the backseat of a car with no air conditioning, so telling him that speaking put his life on the line, made their jobs much easier.

Now they were coming upon Byzantium, the gigantic wall loomed overhead, casting a 60 foot shadow this late in the day. The soldiers felt those walls a welcome sight, until they heard the thundering of the misery of earlier that day.

"GRECIANS COMING!!!"

Suddenly they watched the wall close up in less time than it takes to get a merchant's cart inside the walls of Byzantium. Caesar was in a tough spot.

"Dangit!! Why is everything but hot women orgy style screwing me today???!" Caesar was infuriated.

Getting no help at Byzantium, they headed west towards the largest mountain town, Alpium.

--------------------------
Keep reading, there's more to come!!

[Metaliturtle]

Alpium was more or less a quiet villiage. Like most small villiages, they were very suspicious of strangers, especially foreign strangers. You can imagine their surprise then, when they saw a cart bearing the flag of thier hated enemy, the Greeks, speedily coming upon their villiage.

"Man the palisades!!! Those lousy Grecians won't get Alpium without a good fight!!"

Arrows were lit shortly after, and the men climbed up onto the wooden defenses, and let the arrows fly. The arrows lit the brush and other foliage nearby, as well as the wooden cart, Caesar was mortified. He really didn't want this to be his last moment, so he climbed out of his hiding spot, and began to run towards Alpium with all of his might.

"we've foiled an ambush!! kill that man!"

It took 8 arrows to fell the body of the only emperor they had ever had, an emperor they had never known. Caesar's body lay facedown in the muddy path leading to the foot of Alpium's mountain pass. It took some time before anyone from the town could muster up enough courage to go down and check the body.

Finally, Regis, an ex-soldier of Rome, was sent out. When he arrived at Caesar's body he was shocked.

"What is it Regis?"

No response

"WHAT is it Regis?"

Still, no response, a few men went out and stood by him.

"What is it Regis?"

"It's the.. the... "

"The what Regis?"

"THE EMPEROR YOU IDIOT!!!"

All the men but Regis gasped.

"You.. you must be mistaken, the emperor would have gone to Byzantium."

"Not if he couldn't get in."

"You mean he came here for refuge and we killed him?"

"Apparently so..."

The men grew speechless, they had committed Regicide, the punishment according to the law was they had to kill a tenth of their family, and then themselves.

None of the men wanted to kill their families, but they knew that they couldn't remain Roman if they didn't. Seeing as how any of the men of the villiage could be guilty of the crime, they had a different plan.

"Explain this to me again Regis."

"We hoist the Greek flag from that cart, and swear loyalty to Greece, now we're heroes for slaying the leader of our enemy."

"Will the women agree to this?"

"If they don't, we can always kill them and say Caesar did it"

"Fair enough, let's go."

Alexander was in one of the best moods of his entire life. Caesar was dead, the heir was missing, and all of Rome was now under his control. Surely, he had forged an empire, but what was next? He couldn't just sit here and do nothing, could he?

"Alexander, there are some strange looking people here to see you."

"Probably the dominated Romans, send them in."

"Are You the new ruler of Rome?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that."

"WE ARE AT WAR!!"

--------
Hmm, it seems that Alexander inherited some enemies from Caesar, who is this new mystery enemy? Read the next installment of Forging an Empire.

And REMEMBER TO VOTE!!

[dnassman]

[Verto]

This isn't my prefered style of writing, that type of humor but...Can't see a lot of speilng erurs. You've got my 4 star rating!

And again, make sure you vote in the preliminaries: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=55070

and check out my post, Reader's Response!

[Metaliturtle]

Originally posted by Verto
This isn't my prefered style of writing, that type of humor and all but...Can't see a lot of speilng erurs.

And again, make sure you vote in the preliminaries: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=55070

and check out my post, Reader's Response!

That's fine, you don't have to vote for me, Verto

[Metaliturtle]

"What do you mean!? The Greeks don't give a poo about the heir to ROME!?"

"They killed Caesar, and took all of Rome, Elizabeth."

"Dangit!! Why hadn't I thought of that?"

"What do you propose we do?"

"Well we'll just have to-"

"Pardon the interruption your majesty, but the Greeks are here."

"Hold on a minute, I haven't powdered my face thricely yet. Ok, they may enter now."

It was Alexander's son who entered. He had a very powerful aire about him, he carried himself in a manner befitting the son of the most powerful man in the world.

"Good Morning Elizabeth, I am Alexander the Younger."

"Son of Alexander the Great I presume?"

"Precisely."

"Tell me, what Brings you here?"

"Some common neighbors of ours are becoming a threat to the Grecian way of life."

"Oh, and who might these neighbors be?"

"They call themselves Germans"

"I thought the Romans killed the Germans."

"They are still thriving in the north."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"We would like you to use your military might to crush the Germans, this should give you enough of an economic base to be a good trading partner with us."

He stopped talking for a moment, pulled a short iron tube out of his belt, and touched fire to it. The noise was deafening, and there was a decent sized hole put into the stone wall.

He continued, "As you can see, there is much you can gain when trading with the Greeks that is all."

He left the throne room confident that he had made an impression upon Elizabeth, exactly what he wanted to do. Indeed the Germans had threatened Greece, but once made aware of Greece's behemoth like stature on the world, they quickly took back their hateful words and went back to Berlin like cowards.

Alexander had put his son in charge of taking the Northlands, what better way than letting them take themselves and then mopping up afterwards? Surely this strategy will become widely known as the greatest strategy since the flag principle.

"Father, all we have to do now is wait for one to come back to us with news of victory."

"And then what?"

"That will be when we strike, we'll have better technology, more men, and they will be overconfident in their abilities, the battle shouldn't be too difficult. I fired a gun in Elizabeth's throne room, it shattered one of the stones in the wall, but the mortar was more or less unharmed, i suggest we build all new fortifications from manmade bricks instead of stone and mortar from now on."

"Agreed" Alexander's eyes began to water

"What's the matter father?"

"I'm so glad my son isn't an idiot."

"Me too, Dad, me too."

Elizabeth no longer had need for young Augustus, so she sent him into Germany in the hopes that she would never hear Caesar spoken in any type of living sense ever again.

The German language was very different from the others that Augustus had heard, although it had some links with English. He was able to learn enough to get a job at an inne in Liepzig, however, and his hatred of the English became contagious among the patrons. Soon, the whole villiage of Liepzig was at arms, awaiting the now certain English invasion.

" You are sure they're coming Augustus? "

"Yes, Elizabeth is a power hungry wh*re, who will shun people she can no longer use, partly the reason I'm here actually."

"Yeah, had we captured you, we would've killed you as soon as Rome fell."

"You're a real confidence builder Hans"

"Thank you Augustus."

In Greece, efforts were being made to make the destruction of a brick wall by projectile easy, just in case the English caught on. The solution to this was not found right away, although they thought that they could do it with cannons, all the cannon did was make a dent in the wall. Discoveries made on the way to the development of the Cannon did not go unnoticed however, one man even found a new way to shape the land, explosives! soon the unproductive hills of Greece were becoming fertile grasslands.

The discovery was also made that if you boiled water under pressure, releasing small amounts of steam could produce rapid motion, the first steam engines had been born, and with them, a boat that could stand up to the well-crafted English fleet.

-------To Be Continued---------
The next installment will show the new techs in effect, and possibly the Anglo-Germanic war.

Remember to vote!!

[Metaliturtle]

GRRR TOO MANY POSSIBILITIES!!

[Metaliturtle]

Augustus was settling in for some rest before the major english battles commenced. He began to think to himself, "why are the leaders always asleep in Metaliturtle's stories when bad things happen? And why do they always shout the leader's name with no regard to the leader's personal comfort?" That was when Hans came into the room.


"Augustus! There's been a big boomy thing!"

"What are you jabbering about Hans?"

"I heard a big boom to the south, it went BLAMMMO!!"

"Sounds big, we better go check it out."

They rode southward in the direction of the "big boomy thing," but suddenly their topographic map had become extremely errant.

"Ok, there's the stream, there should be a large hill right about here"

Nothing, only a few boulders and a lot of mud. What had happened here? They soon came upon some footprints, only they were different, they had all sorts of lines in them.

Boots had been the new rage in Greece for a few weeks now, and everybody wore them, but the group most noted for wearing them were the worksmen who got to blow up the hillsides.

Anyway, Hans and Augustus followed these tracks until they saw the Greek city Apolyton ((I SWEAR THAT'S WHAT THEY NAMED IT)).

"Excuse me sir."

They really wanted to know what happened to the hill.

"Yes?"

"What happened to the hill?"

"Oh, we blew it up."

"Blew it up? I certainly haven't seen any hills levitating today."

"No, it's an expression, we use dynamite to make the hill explode and leave us with flat, fertile, land."

"Oh, cool, where could we get some of this 'dynamite'?"

"Only people employed by the Greek Government are allowed to use it right now, wouldn't want it falling into the wrong hands."

"What's wrong with our hands?"

Augustus was messing with him now.

"Uhhm uh nothing, uh I gotta go."

The man hurriedly walked away.

Elizabeth was having suspicions about Greece's intentions, and wasn't about to go to war until she got a better idea about these Greeks.

She ordered her two finest sailing vessles, Juggernaut and Boom Boom Timmy, to go down to Athens and figure out what was going on.

The Ships set sail from Merry old England, and soon found themselves in a spot of trouble. The commander of the Grecian Ironclads was itching to put his fleet to the test, so he declared that the English were attacking Athens.

Soon the ironclads were presenting a very formidable blocade against the Wooden English ships, but the English sailors were not impressed.

"They'll sink before they'll attack I'll bet"

"Not if they rust out first"

"And only one gun, they're gonna have troubles."

BOOOM! The first ship fired but didn't have to turn to do so, now the Brits respected the Ironclad.

"Did you see that then? They don't have to turn to engage in combat, bloody ingenious."

"Knock off you dolt and help me get the rudder!!"

Soon the English had turned, and the largest Naval Battle in the history of the two countries was about to commence.

--to be continued--

[Jaybe]

Metaliturtle, you'se a funny guy!
Some time ago, I got too busy playing Civ3 to read the stories forum. I am glad I ran across this one of yours!

I DO remember reading one of yours several weeks ago that didn't appeal to me, but I was probably in the doldrums at the time.

Problem is, when I vote, yours will be the only one I have read.