The Jungle Gazette
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Your light in the Jungle - July 20, 1400 BC
Our lands unveilled!
New technology reveals the world!
In what can now be said to be a trend, our emmissaries once again went forth to the bargaining table. Our superb relations with Joan D'Arc proved fruitfull as we were able to obtain the most fascinating technology, "Map Making". This allows us to make a picture of the land that we know, thus allowing a permanant record of the landscape. Immediately putting this to use, our emmissaries went on a mission of buying and selling said maps and not only formed a complete map of the land which we are currently on, but actually gained money in the process! Not all were pleased with this course, however, fearing that revealing our precious homeland would invite competition for what is rightfully ours. Rumors also now abound that there may be other lands across the water!!! There are even quiet mutterings of building vessels to traverse the great blue expanse in search of these other lands.
- UnOrthOdOx
Debate rages over Presidential election
is our system corrupt?
The recent Presidential election has raised some questions on the integrity of our own voting process. Can we now be sure of any of our polls? Are we to be subject to only a few unethical men and their will? These questions have inspired some to call for investigation. Their hope is to obtain enough support on
this petition to bring in the higher powers and help clear up this mess by finding out who voted, and which of them are citizens.
"This poll is labeled as official as it is intended to be the official will of the people of Apolytonia. Of course, what is official for us does not oblige any mod (or god) to do anything. We are merely expressing our will. " - NYE
- UnOrthOdOx
Apolytonian Court put to vote
Ninot's first act as President
Showing no signs of slowing, Ninot put his first official poll to public vote. Riding on the tails of much debate from the first rendition of this amendment as proposed by Trip, Ninot places his version of the court before the people. However, not all went smoothly, as at first, the poll had no option to decline, and only an agree and a no problem. Some went so far as to claim that it was the intentional act of a Despot. Ninot, though, corrected the problem with due speed, and the polling resumed
here.
- UnOrthOdOx
How should we spend our money?
Your Ministers hard at work
As the new government takes shape, Spiffor, our Minister of Economy, is asking YOU
how should we spend our money? With several options and an area to debate, the decision could have a drastic effect on our future. Ensuring he has a plan ready should at least minimal science funding be aproved, our Minister of Science, civman2000, is also asking
what should we research? Then there is Sir Ralph, our Imperial Expansion Minister, acting with authority from our Foriegn Affairs Minister, Sn00py, and asking the question
should we build embassies? These decisions will begin to shape the future of Apolytonia.
- UnOrthOdOx
Anarchy Rules!
A small settlement within the Notylopian jungle found Enlightenment with an abolition of 95% of laws until its disappearance this week.
The town of Aotearoa was a small village of several hundred located some distance inside the jungle, well within Apolytonian influence, yet with a stubbornly independent spirit. It is from this village that the well-known phrase "Stubborn as an Aotearoa Mule" originates. When it became known recently that the Government was bowing to excessive public demand within the capital Apolyton for increased legislation, Aotearoa installed a Governor who supported the one ideal of a little known political party - the Association of Apolytonians Against a Constitution (Civ3 game) - the 3A2C3.
This party's one policy is the reduction of legislation to a minimum. Upon the elimination of an (sic) "totally unnecessary Constitution", one would expect a reduction in the peoples' freedom. However, such a measure initiated in Aotearoa led to a paradoxical increase in the Governors' approval rate, productivity of the town and, as the reporter can attest to, incidences of random, diseaseless free love in the streets.
The people of this town enjoyed their state for some weeks, until the town's mysterious disappearance several days ago. It is currently not known what the cause of the disappearance was, but a 3A2C3 member (who wished to remain anonymous ) told reporters that "it is a terrible shame that the nation at large did not experience the joys of a lightened legislation, and it is no coincidence that the Apolytonian military was on "exercises" in the area near the time of the town's disappearance. It is well known that the Government is continually looking for ways of restricting freedom through endless amendments, and at the same time such measures distract the populace from their less salubrious activities." Supreme Military Commander UberKruX told us that all events that occurred during his term were top secret, and could not be revealed until after the latest Amendment was completed. President Trip could not be reached due to his working upon said new amendment.
The amendment, to come into effect shortly, prevents all blame from being placed upon any ex or current member of the Government for atrocities committed during their term.
- From an unnamed source
A note from the editor
I have been informed that, with this being the third edition, we are now officially the longest running paper in Apolytonia. It did not come easily, as some of you heard, what with my unexpected absense. However, due to a monumental effort on the part of Tassadar, we stayed our course and brought you the latest in news. It is now my pleasure to announce the rest of
our staff that will ensure continued coverage, whatever befalls any of our editors. Any submissions from the public can be made to one of
the staff, and that staff will hopefully grow to be able to handle any persons need for vacation, hiatus, or RL departure. Thank you once again for your purchase.
- UnOrthOdOx
Due to lack of time, we were unable to coordinate a question to the parties this week. We thought we would take this time, then, to familiarize you with some of the non-political groups:
The Thinkers Guild
As a citizens group, keeping the intellectual thoughts aflow,
is the Thinkers main goal. Therefore they travel much through the empire (preferrably to universities) holding lectures for the populace... Both with scientifical and political content.
If you feel like thinking, this is a guild for you!
A Thinker may vary from doctors, students, poets, artist, architects, inventors, and many many more....
They are mostly democrats, but eager to promote critisism and questioning the system. Usually, they are working at building libraries in every city... for the best of the intellectual empire!
The Culture Club
This is not a Political Party as much as a Citizen Group. It is for those of us who believe that culture is an important part of any empire. What good is conquering distant lands if we have nothing to live for, no God to honour, I ask?
The War Academy
Citizens of Apolytonia!
As we all know, our position is bad and our start poor. We are stuck in a vast jungle, have very low good terrain to work with and absolutely nothing to make our citizens happy and proud to be Apolytonians. This situation has to be changed. Our only way out is our military. The arrows, spears and axes of our glorious soldiers will soon be stained with French blood and shall give us the space and air to breathe. And they will raise the respect of other nations towards our glorious Apolytonian Empire.
In these hard for all of us times we proudly declare the foundation of the Apolytonian War Academy. It is a place for all citizens, supporting a sane and well prepared warfare, to discuss plans, strategies and scenarios. It has no room for ultra-warmongers, for whom the presence of another nation's unit within the range of ours already suffices as reason of war. This War Academy is about strategy, not hazard.
Note that the Apolytonian War Academy is neither a political party nor a governmental office. Like Thinkers Guild and Culture Club it is a place to discuss and learn from each other, not to decide. We will discuss various strategies and "what would be, if" scenarios. Our goal is to find the most efficient way to hit the enemy as early and hard as possible. We will find and report weak points in our defense. We will offer the government plans and strategies as base for decisions. This includes recommendations for all governmental offices, be it the SMC or the ministers of IE, city planning, public works, science, trade and finances. Members of all political parties are welcome as well as all other citizens of Apolytonia.
The Think Tank for Diplomacy(working title)
Given our start position, given the breadth of our continent (Abananaba?), given the various positions of our AI rivals, it's becoming more and more clear that we will not be able to simply conquer or build our way to victory. We will have to bargain at the table, and intrigue among the courts of our enemies and allies. Our very survival will hinge on our ability to play a dangerous diplomacy game with supreme skill and imagination.
(Reminds me of England, 1500-1945: an island power on the edge of a continent teeming with more powerful threats, constantly realigning itself, straining to preserve a balance of power.)
We need the best minds of our nation working on this aspect of the game. Techs and resources will remain vital, of course. But we need to weighing foreign policy moves with as much wisdom, as much audacity, as we do projects like tech-whoring or oscillating war.
Who should we be cultivating, what techs or resources or gold should we be gifting where, to strengthen which allies when? With whom should we ally in what wars? When should we permit ROPs, and (later) with whom should we strike MPPs? These answers to these questions will shift continually in the centuries ahead. And we desperately need to find the right answers.
We should set up a think tank to give analysis and debate form.
We also had some difficulty reaching our very busy President, Ninot. His secretary, though,assures us that we will be able to interview him shortly
Dear Unorthodox,
I would like to use this letter as a public apology and an offer to try and fix what I've done.
I have created the Independent Moderate Party, which is not only an oxymoron, but something other than a traditional party.
We are devoted to NOT using partisan politics.
We do not run candidates.
We do not have an agenda.
We do not champion a cause.
We do support a balance of war and peace, rights and duties, debate and concession.
We do try to stop the polarization that has begun with the creation of the DIA and UFC.
I am not trying to convince you. I merely wish to make my views known.
Skywalker
Dear Mssrs. UnOrthoDox and Tassadar5000:
I am writing this to advise you of my current situaton and that we are now just outside of Apolyton Village. Medical attention will be needed for Mr. Hazard, as I had mentioned previously, though his condition has improved. Also, someone will need to tend to Dog, and young Mr. Skywalker.
If you please, let me explain what has transpired over the past several days to bring us to our current situation.
When I last reported we were in the Mountains, you call the Great Rift, outside of Paris, and were in the company of several Iroquois men who had provided us with some considerable assistance. Since then, we had made our way through the mountains to the sea, and then following along the coast, we had reached the mouth of the River at Orleans.
Here, I went to uncover my float, which I had hidden under a grove of coconut trees on the beach there. Suddenly, a rather boisterous young buck, by the name of Skywalker, came running towards me, talking rather excitedly. He had told me that he had been following my recent adventures and was hoping to join with me. He was talking about a land beyond the horizon of Apolyton in the Southern Sea, and he talked of huge fish that lived there. He wanted me to travel with him. I had heard of these fish, and had seen one many years ago in my childhood, along with my friend, Godking, though our parents dismissed it as a the imagination of young boys. It would be a pleasant voyage to seek out these fish and this land beyond the horizon, I may very well venture with him, but...
I told him, first things first. We must get Mr. Hazard back home. He then began to assist me in preparing the float, and securing Mr. Hazard to it. As we did this, I looked to the distance out over the sea, and saw a site that sent shivers up my spine. A large dark black cloud mass was heading towards shore from the South West, lightning bolts could be seen striking the sea. Such a site I had never seen in my whole life, and I new we had to get to cover, and could not venture out to sea.
But just as I thought that we should head to the jungle for cover, a group of armed Frenchman, seven in all, came rapidly towards us. I quickly got to my feet, grabbed my staff, and went for the first to reach us, ploughing one ned of the staff into his rib cage, and as he doubled over, I wheeled the other end into his skull knocking him out. Young Skywalker, too, got into the action, grappling the next Frenchman to the ground and dashing his skull to the ground, rendering him unconcious. Dog had joined the melee, and attacked a third member of this French mob, forcing him into the river. I quickly met another in a quick clash, wherein I knocked him out with my staff, while Skywalker was clashing still again with the assistance of Dog. The remaining Frenchman had gotten too me, and were about to spear me, when large hailstones the size of coconuts came crashing to their heads, knocking them out. Had the storm started already?
I had never seen such hailstones, or were they hailstones. I pondered this briefly, until the familiar screeching of my monkey friends caused me to look up into the coconut trees to find them standing there hooping and hollaring at what they had done. Relieved and happy to see them, we regrouped, and seeing the Fench group was incapacitated, returned to Mr. Hazard, only to find that the float and he had started to drift into the sea. In the distance towards Orleans, we also saw an additional band of Frenchmen heading towards us. Our decision was made, we had to face the storm and the sea in order to get back home.
Quickly, Young Skywalker, Dog, the monkeys and myself swam to join Mr. Hazard's unconcious body on the float. We stayed as close to shore as possible, with both Skywalker and myself in the water to help steady the float. The storm started to kick in, the winds started coming from the West, blowing a tremendous force at us, but quickly changed directions, from South to West to North to East and back again, I could not predict from moment to moment what we would be hit by. The rain started to come down so hard, and with the wind, it felt like we were being pelted by stones. But, we just kept plugging and plugging, what choice did we have. Then suddenly, the float caught in the wind and flipped over, and the whole world became black...
I awoke some time later, on the coast, dazed. I looked around to see no one else, where was I? The Mountains were now far off to the West, I must be close to Apolyton. I passed out again.
Still later, I awoke from someone jostling my limp body. I looked up to see the last man I expected... Mr. Hazard was, though he looked queazy and weak from his coma, he was still up and about and able to speak. "Mr. jdjdjd, welcome back to Apolytonia", he said and helped me to my feet.
Skywalker was nearby, but on the ground, he had injured his leg in the storm, and was resting it. Dog, also appeared to be injured and was limping, but was able to walk. The monkeys gave me a package they had intended to deliver to me, but given the intensity of our situation at the time, I could not open. It was from Mr. Godking, advising me that times were better and I could return home.
This ragged band of wanderers that we were, glad to be alive, glad to be home, and glad to be together; now make our way towards the Village. We rest often, and Young Skywalker needs assistance to walk, but we plod on in quiet anticipation of reaching the Village.
We are homeward bound.
I hope to see you soon,
I remain,
jdjdjd
