The Church of THE ONE in Apolytonia

godinex · August 12, 2002, 14:27

Then the ONE said to me, "Do not pray for the well-being of this people. Although they fast, I will not listen to their cry; though they offer burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Instead, I will destroy them with the sword, famine and plague." But I said, "Ah, Sovereign Deity , the prophets keep telling them, 'You will not see the sword or suffer famine. Indeed, I will give you lasting peace in this place, just give them a chance"
"For the sake of You, I will not destroy it."

Apolytonians is still time...

August 12, 2002, 14:31

But what about our past dieties? The Everlasting Banana, and the two faces of gOd? The Banana provides with so much in our everyday lives, and gOd created the very world we inhabit. What can this "ONE" do for us?

Epistax · August 12, 2002, 14:34

Oh great.. Well I guess this was coming. We didn't have enough voices with no reason behind them. A church will easily fill that slot.

godinex · August 12, 2002, 14:39

The ONE appeared to Godinex and said, "Do not go down to France; live in the land where I tell you to live. Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and will confirm the oath I swore to your people. I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and will give them all these lands, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed.

The power of the ONE is in Me. Anything is possible by the power of the ONE.

Aro · August 12, 2002, 16:33

...The ONE speaks with a charming French accent...

Epistax · August 12, 2002, 17:28

I want to see france delcare war on us RIGHT before we declare war on them. That'd show all those peace mongers

godinex · August 13, 2002, 13:26

This is love for the ONE: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of The ONE is the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that The ONE is our Highest Deity.

Shiber · August 13, 2002, 14:03

What if we were forced into war with France? If France attacked us, what would The ONE have to say?

Captain · August 13, 2002, 14:32

"And I shall strike them with a great vengeance, visiting the sins of the fathers upon their children unto the fourth generation..."

Shiber · August 13, 2002, 15:19

Heeeey! That's from the bible!!
PLAGIARISM!!!!!

disorganizer · August 13, 2002, 16:01

Im happy one of our prophets found his way here (though im still not aware of how he came here).
He offered geat advice and consolation to phoenatica during the great wars. He even lead our crusadors to salamance to capture the holy lands.

Praise godinex, the prophet of the one!

Shiber · August 13, 2002, 16:22

Salamance? Why, it's crystal clear that the holy lands are in Long Island, Massachusets.

UnOrthOdOx · August 13, 2002, 17:24

I ask, who is this ONE? Disorganizer can bear witness that we already communicate directly with our creator. Then there is also the almighty Banana, and I hear NYE speaking of Mars often enough. So who is this ONE? Why should any of us bend knee or listen to his words?

I consider this 'prophet' to have been on the recieving end of a few too many blows to the head in those 'great wars' of yours.

Epistax · August 13, 2002, 17:27

Disorganizer does not speak for the rest of us. He is but simple minded-- empty headed if you will.

Damn this god sucks. Can't we get another?

Shiber · August 13, 2002, 17:43

A single god... disembodied voices... a promised land (in Salamance?!)...
This all smells kinda fishy to me.
Hey, maybe it's a French plot to expose our imminent invasion! {oh uh, maybe they're listening on us right now...} AHEM, I mean, imminent, uh... birthday party... which we are going to hold for Joan! {that's it, they'll fall for it}

GoodFella · August 13, 2002, 18:05

Who do you propose we kill instead...uhh...Mr. One?

August 13, 2002, 20:22

At least the Banana didn't care if we slaughtered an entire nation... I think gOd took a pretty relaxed stance on warfare, too. Give us the freedom to kill, dammit!

Octavian X · August 14, 2002, 00:05

Good, you've met our resident prophet, Godinex... Good luck handleing him...

The ONE is the god of Phoenatica. As advanced as we are, we haven't developed a seperation of church and state. The ONE is resposible for the properity of Phoenatica. I'm not as eloguent a speaker as our dear Godinex, but I suggest you listen to him, for your own good...

Darkness' Edge · August 14, 2002, 02:52

Quote:

Originally posted by Epistax
Damn this god sucks. Can't we get another?

that'd make a good sig..

GoodFella · August 14, 2002, 03:51

Will you give us subforums?

Kloreep · August 14, 2002, 14:00

Quote:

Originally posted by GoodFella
Will you give us subforums?

Subforums? Oooohhh... *drool*

I'd convert for subforums.

godinex · August 14, 2002, 14:24

Guard your steps when you go to the forum of The ONE. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.

Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before The ONE.
The ONE is in heaven
and you are on earth,
so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

When you make a vow to The ONE, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should The ONE be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of The ONE.

This are the words of the ONE, Lord of Apolytonia to all of You sinfull people:

"If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to MY glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be disciples of my truth".

GhengisFarb™ · August 14, 2002, 14:25

Quote:

Originally posted by Shiber
A single god... disembodied voices... a promised land (in Salamance?!)...
This all smells kinda fishy to me.

Smells kinda fishy to a lot of us...........

Quote:

Originally posted by Octavian X
Good, you've met our resident prophet, Godinex... Good luck handleing him...

The ONE is the god of Phoenatica. As advanced as we are, we haven't developed a seperation of church and state. The ONE is resposible for the properity of Phoenatica.

Ahh, so its a foriegn god, this One is pretty pathetic to have to imigrate to better pastures. Or does this mean Phoenatica plans to invade Apolytonia. Either way this One and his reality-impaired groupie are NOT GOOD for Apolytonia.

I knew I should've supported those immigration laws, but all I could think about was those cheap foreign laborers...........

godinex · August 14, 2002, 14:39

See, Genhis Farb and Edrix, and Shiber the day of the ONE is coming
-a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger-
to make the land desolate
and destroy the sinners within it.
The stars of heaven and their constellations
will not show their light.
The rising sun will be darkened
and the moon will not give its light.
He will punish the world for its evil,
the wicked for their sins.
will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty
and will humble the pride of the ruthless.
I will make man scarcer than pure gold,
more rare than the gold of the Bananas.
Therefore He will make the heavens tremble;
and the earth will shake from its place
at the wrath of the ONE Almighty,
in the day of his burning anger.

GhengisFarb™ · August 14, 2002, 14:54

Quote:

Originally posted by godinex
See, Genhis Farb and Edrix, and Shiber the day of the ONE is coming
-a cruel day, with yada yada yada and more yada yada nonsense.

You foreigners with your foreign religions, and foreign tea names you think we should name our currency after(Lyton/Lipton), can rant and rave all you want.

But don't go threatening our citizens because we have laws against things like that and "Diplomatic Immunity" does NOT cover metally-deficient-god-complex-groupies from Phoenatica!

UnOrthOdOx · August 14, 2002, 15:05

He is obviously mentally challenged. Anyone else wonder why he is the only one to HEAR this voice of the ONE? He should not inspire our wrath, rather, we should care for him. A few leaches should do the trick.

August 14, 2002, 15:57

When the "ONE" is standing right in front of me with a raised sword pointed at my face, after he's set my house on fire and caused all of the buildings in Termina to levitate, and after he's caused the sky to turn red, then I guess I'll worship him.

But, as far as I know, it's still pretty warm down in Hell.

GhengisFarb™ · August 14, 2002, 16:01

Quote:

Originally posted by Edrix
But, as far as I know, it's still pretty warm down in Hell.

What is this "Hell" you speak of? Is it similiar to the "Desert where grow no Bananas" where evil doers go when they die?

August 14, 2002, 16:20

Quote:

Originally posted by GhengisFarb
What is this "Hell" you speak of? Is it similiar to the "Desert where grow no Bananas" where evil doers go when they die?

It is, but I think anyplace without access to bananas can be considered Hell.

Captain · August 14, 2002, 21:02

Quote:

Originally posted by Shiber
Heeeey! That's from the bible!!
PLAGIARISM!!!!!

not referring to my totally original post, are you?

why, I'm just following the trend Godinex set up (or are you referring to the fact that we both quoted from scripture?)

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

A dozen banana to whoever knows the book, chapter, and verse first!(ten times that if you didn't have to look it up).