Best game one-liners? - Page 3

Wormwood · August 25, 2002, 12:10

He could be my friend, if only he wasn't my enemy- sabin ffVI
You spoony bard!- ffIV

devilmunchkin · August 26, 2002, 00:04

warcraft 3:

"mortar combat!"

"what is nature's call?"

"more work?"

"istand for the light"

MosesPresley · August 27, 2002, 17:01

This isn't a one liner, but I thought it was pretty funny.

The following is from Max Payne. Before Max enters a room, he often hears snippets of conversation from the npc's. This was from a television show one of the gangsters was watching.

Previously on Lords and Ladies. - announcer

Lady Amelia, Markia Valentine asks for and audience.

Thank you Lawrence. - lady amelia

My lady? - markia valentine

My lord? - lady amelia

And now an all new episode of Lords and Ladies. - announcer

cue cheezy music

My lady? - markia valentine

My lord? - lady amelia

My lady there is a matter of great importance which I must bring to your attention. - markia valentine

My lord, there is? - lady amelia

Indeed, my lady, there is indeed. From the very first moment we met upon that distant forest path, there has been sunlight in the autumn leaves blazing like the colors of your hair. - markia valentine

My lord, you should not speak so. - lady amelia

But my lady, I must. I must. - markia valentine

My lord, no! I...this cannot be. - lady amelia

But why my love? Why? - markia valentine

My lord it is too dreadful. Do not force me to speak the words. - lady amelia

My lady I beg of you. I must know. I would rather die than not know. - markia valentine

Yes my lord, we should both be dead for this shame is too great for the living. My lord, I am... My lord, I am your long lost sister. - lady amelia

cue cheezy music

Oh...sniff...Lady Amelia...so tragic. Will they ever get together? - teary eyed gangster

Jethro83 · August 27, 2002, 23:00

"I'd never claim that you would live forever after trying one of my potions. Only that you might look as though you had."
- Alkor, Diablo II

"Make more friends!"
- Foreign Advisor, Civ III

"I lost a bomb. Do you have it?"
- Crazy Ivan, Red Alert 2

"Name! Job! Bye!"
- The Avatar, Ultima IV-VII

The Mad Monk · August 27, 2002, 23:48

"Oops -- did I do that?"

-Amazon, after killing Shenk, Diablo II

dunk · August 29, 2002, 13:31

Who are the Gargoyles?

The Avatar. U9.

Jethro83 · August 29, 2002, 18:27

"What's a Paladin?"
The Avatar, U9

MattyBoy · August 29, 2002, 21:24

"Game Over"
(showing my arcade game past here)

Kc7mxo · August 29, 2002, 23:55

"I can see my house from here!"

Goblin Blimp, Warcraft 2

Dis · August 30, 2002, 00:56

something about bonking heads.

"lets go bonk some heads" military advisor

Dis · August 30, 2002, 00:57

I could name numerous quotes from Minsc and Boo

and Korgon about splitting guts open.

loinburger · August 30, 2002, 02:02

Or the sword. "Hack and slash your way to fame and fortune! Yee-hah!" (Or something, haven't played that game in awhile.)

Dis · August 30, 2002, 03:16

"Boo-Yah!"

devilmunchkin · September 2, 2002, 03:50

"what what what?"

from Halo

Moral Hazard · September 2, 2002, 05:14

Damn all of the goof ones I can think of require having played the game to get.

From the Rink announcer in NHL 2002:
"This is message to the spy in our audience. Don't trust the smiling penguin. I repeat don't trust the smiling penguin. Good Luck mr spy."

Don Taylor had some great ones in NHL 2002.
"Tie Game, Close contest or boring non event, you decide."

"He put in the top shelf where suzie keeps the acne cream" Don
"Whose Suzie?" Jim
"Just some kid with troubled skin jim" Don

Not a one liner but when serious sam wistles the indiana jones theme when the boulder rolls by.

devilmunchkin · September 2, 2002, 13:59

"there's ma buddy" -munch from Munch's Oddysee

MattyBoy · September 11, 2002, 22:06

This is a big favourite of mine:
"You feel less confused now."
--

Nethack, when you change state from "Confused" to your default, everyday state of mind.

MattyBoy · September 12, 2002, 03:34

Now that's got me started on Nethack quotes:

Quotes I like because they don't happen to me in RL:
"You feel in control of yourself."
"you feel good enough to do it again"

Common quotes that players should recognise
"You feel very firm."
"You feel feverish."
"You feel a strange mental acuity."

Reading when confused
"You feel entrapped."
"You identify this as an identify scroll."
"Your helmet is covered by a shimmering golden shield."

Odd quotes
"You are a statue"
"The gray unicorn graciously accepts your gift." (actually not a good thing)
"Your nose tingles and you smell food."

You play too much if you recognise this last one
"Yecch! This stuff tastes like poison. But in fact it was bioloically contaminated guava juice."

Traianvs · September 12, 2002, 08:27

Yeah, conversing with Lilarcor the sword in BG2 is awesome...every now and then he says things like... can't we go kill something now please? pleaaaaaaaaaaaase? what about that one over there.. or no THAT one!

or, KILL, KILL, KILL, YEAAAAAH!!!

duke nukem has of course the best oneliners..

so many babes, so little time
nobody steals our chicks... and lives
it's time to kick ass or chew bubblegum, and i'm all outta gum!
hail to the king baby
NOWAY i'm eating that **** (when the duke enters his own Dukeburger restaurant

)
your face, your ass, what's the difference..
damn, you're an inspiration for birth control!
...ooh that's GOTTA hurt

huhehehe, what a mess! (happens when you gib about 5 enemies at once

)

there are many more of course, and they're even better when you here em live with duke's voice!

mactbone · September 12, 2002, 08:27

"Freight train, whoo-whoo!" - NHL 2001 (I think)

If you've played the game you know what I'm talking about.

Chowlett · September 12, 2002, 09:17

from the Minsc school of charity:

"Give a man a fish and he will feed himself for a day. Give him a sword and he can chow down on the meaty marrow of evil!"

MattyBoy · September 12, 2002, 20:03

:grin:
Must play that Duke Nukem. Sounds classic.

Proserpine · September 13, 2002, 07:03

Quote:

Originally posted by MattyBoy
:grin:
Must play that Duke Nukem. Sounds classic.

It was. Very dated now, of course. If you get it, I wish every joy in getting it to work with a modern O/S.

Don't get the recent 3D scolling thing, DN: Manhattan Project. It's awful. And don't wait for DN Forever, it's been in development for like 4 years (and will probably be rubbish when/if it comes out).

Chowlett · September 16, 2002, 18:40

Minsc again. And yes, technically it's a one-liner.

"Yes! Lead evil by example, and one day we need no longer put the boots to those that stray off the path of goodness into the muck and bile of villainy and track great bloody footprints across our lily white tiles! Boo will have clean wood shavings you evil bastards!"

To which your only available response is "Ooooh kaaaay."

mactbone · September 16, 2002, 19:26

W00t! Just found a place full of Planescape quotes!

Nameless One: "I wonder what it was I said that made Death reject me."

Nameless One: "One foot in grave, the other in hell."

Nameless One: "Um... has anyone seen a floating sarcastic skull around here?"

Nameless One: "No wonder my back hurts; there's a damn novel written there."
(thanks to The Greater Quasit)

Annah: "Get yer eyes off my arse!"

Annah: "You like my wee tail? I’ll wag it at ye!"

Annah: "If you keep bobbing about skull, I’m gonna mount you at the end of a pike!"

Dak’kon: "Your path is mine."

Dak’kon: "Your reasons for your incessant clicking are not *known* to me."

Dak’kon: "There cannot be two skies!"

Dak’kon: "Endure. In enduring, grow strong."

Dak’kon: "Strength lies in *knowing* oneself."
(thanks to Paul Templar for this one)

Nordom: "Nordom and crossbows wish to go in search for trouble!"

Nordom: "I sleep in a drawer."

Nordom: "I’m a little Modron short and stout."

Nordom: "I think therefore I am... I think"

Nordom: "Said desire will begin immediately."

Nordom: "I estimate that Fall-from-Grace would be 51% more effective as a modron. Give or take 5,2%."

Nordom: "I estimate Fall-from-Grace to be found attractive by the male sex of over 321423 separate species. Give or take 5."

Morte: "Oh sure. I'll just swing it with my arms." (When trying to equip him with any weapons)
(thanks to Extremist for this gem)

Morte: "Come on! Let's shake a leg... Well... YOU shake a leg..."
(thanks to Sam for this quote)

Morte: "Women are the reason I became a monk... and the reason I changed back..."

Morte: "We should get some female zombies to join our party, right chief?"

Morte: "You know, if I could click you, you wouldn’t know a moment’s peace!"

Morte: "I am both happy and miserable, without the happy part!"

Morte: "Like Latin… for Death."

Morte: "Graaaace... you wanna put ME in your inventory?"
(thanks to Flare Dragon Ceiphied for this one)

Morte: "This place is locked up tighter than a chastity belt!"
(thanks to Matt for this one)

Morte: "Graaaace! I need your sensory touch!"

Morte: "You know, it wouldn't kill you to say a few words to me, fiendling... or hug me... or KISS me!" (Talking to Annah)

Morte: "That beauty sleep didn't help much." (When Nameless One awakens after being killed)

Morte: "Talk about beating a dead horse!" (When Nameless One dies)

Vhailor: "Justice is not blind, for I am her eyes!"

Vhailor: "Mercy is a shield used by the weak!"

Vhailor: "Who goes there?"

Vhailor: "While we await, mercy and evil seep into the hearts of more victims!"

Vhailor: "You will not escape my axe again!"

Vhailor: "Your crimes cry out for justice!"

Vhailor: "Perfection through punishment."
(thanks to Paul Templar for this one)

Vhailor: "Let my words carry you: JUSTICE is a TEACHER. In your PUNISHMENT, gain STRENGTH. Through your PUNISHMENT, achieve PERFECTION."
(thanks to HonorKnight)

Fall-from-Grace: "Simple minds... simple pleasures..."

Fall-from-Grace: Morte, what happened to your body?
Morte: Oh! I'm the head of Vecna!

Fall-from-Grace: Morte, with a vocabulary like yours, you should spend some time at the brothel...
Morte: Hohoho! The gods are merciful!

Fall-from-Grace: Morte, I'm curious... what happened to your body?
Morte: It's a long story involving the Head of Vecna. I don't want to talk about it.
Fall-from-Grace: (Laughing) That was you?
Morte: Could we *please* change the subject?
(thanks to The Greater Quasit)

Ravel: "What can change the nature of a man?"

Ravel: Life swallowed you and spit you out!
Morte: It swallowed him, but I don't know if he came out of THAT end!

Ignus: "Ignus wishes to BURN!"

Fhjull Forked-Tongue: "Great! Even more of a stench!" - referring to Fall-from-Grace

Fhjull Forked-Tongue: "HOW CAN A MORON TALK SO MUCH?!"

Fhjull Forked-Tongue: "He it was that condemned me to this life and he whose guts I will see stringing the gates of dawn like a celestial harp... no... no... no harm to the deva. Curses!"

Fhjull Forked-Tongue: "That skulking pseudo-child of light! That contemptible... aggh... I mean no harm to him and his lying no-respect-for-the-law ways!"

The Transcendent One: "I can forge planes with my power! I can unmake you!"

The Silent King: "..."

MattyBoy · September 26, 2002, 19:23

Any time I play nethack, I am surprised by encountering a message that indicates that the programmers have specially coded for my current situation.

This time, I put on my levitation boots while caught in an energy vortex and got the message:
"You spiral up into the energy vortex"

CapitanGarlic · September 26, 2002, 22:09

I forget which hockey game this is from, but:

Announcer 1: That was incredible!
Announcer 2: Then don't eat it...
Announcer 1: I said INCREDIBLE!

Andemagne · September 29, 2002, 16:53

"You Die....." - ADOM

Mr. President · September 29, 2002, 23:00

I know this thread mainly has video game quotations, but I think we could be enlightened by some Magic: the Gathering flavor text quotations, some of which are cool-sounding and a few of which are even slightly amusing. (The bold is the name of the card, the italics is the quote in question.)

Juzam Djinn:

"Expect my visit when the darkness comes. The night I think is best for hiding all." -- Ouallada

Obsianus Golem:

"The foot stone is connected to the ankle stone, the ankle stone is connected to the leg stone . . ." -- Song of the Artificer

Dwarven Miner:

"Fetch the pestridder, Paka, we've got dwarves in the rutabagas!"

Reparations:

"Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold."

Grizzly Bears:

Don't try to outrun one of Dominia's Grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down, and eat you. Of course, you could run up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view of the surrounding area before it knocks the tree down and eats you.

The Cheese Stands Alone:

The meat, on the other hand, receives frequent visitors.

Incinerate:

"Never taunt an embermage, 'What are you going to do about it?' " -- Akin, seasoned askari

Northern Paladin:

"Look to the north; there you will find aid and comfort." -- The Book of Tal

Wall of Wood:

Everyone knows that to ward off trouble, you knock on wood. But sometimes it's better to make a wall out of the wood and let trouble do the knocking.

Worship:

"Believe in the ideal, not the idol." -- Serra

Goblin Balloon Brigade:

"From up here we can drop rocks and arrows and more rocks!"
"Uh, yeah boss, but how do we get down?"

Goblin Digging Team:

"From down here we can make the whole wall collapse!"
"Uh, yeah boss, but how do we get out?"

MattyBoy · October 1, 2002, 02:55

(nethack)
Hallucinating and weak from hunger, I pray...

Quote:

You begin praying to Ishtar.
You are surrounded by a shimmering light. You finish your prayer.
You feel that Ishtar is pleased as punch. Your stomach feels content.
There's a tiger in your tank. Looks like you are back in Kansas.
Your double-headed axe named Cleaver softly glows with a light blue aura.