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Old September 8, 2002, 14:26   #31
Pavlov
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Part 14: War, what is it good for?
The throne-room

King: "I was in Venice the other day."

Me: "Yes?"

K: "It was awful. The canals were smelly, the prices were high and the play I saw was bad."

M: "I'm sorry to hear that, your majesty."

K: "I want to get back. I want Tuscany to attack Venice and take Mantua."

M: "Yes...What!? Are you sure?"

K: "Of course I am. Do as I have ordered."

M: "*gulp* Yes, your majesty."


Very well, I will do as I have been ordered. After all, if we succed the spoils of war will be large.

April 1
Recruitements begin in Emilia. To capture the Venetian fortresses we need infantrymen and cannons. Three thousand infantrymen and ten cannons will be added to our army.

May 20
France pays off the Spanish with 136 ducats for a separate peace.

August 3
Kurpfalz gives 46 ducats to Navarra to get them off their backs.

September1
With recruitments ready the army is prepared for action. The declaration of war was left to the Venetian ambassador today and the army will begin moving on Mantua as soon as possible.

All of Venice's allies, among them Portugal, joined the war against us. We hop that noone of them have the time to send troops to Tuscany.

The war-declaration caused some distress among the people. The priests thought it was a sin to declare war on a fellow christian and the merchants were worried that war could lead to a decrease in business. [OOC: Stab to 0]

October 2
The army arrived outside Mantua today...

The Tuscan army headquarters outside Mantua

A short man with a black beard looked at the city in front of him and measured the walls with his eyes. He had spent his life on the art of siege. So far he had only fought against rebels and Modena, but this was a harder target.

"So what do you say?" Said the taller man with the distinctive blonde hair, Colonel Piombo. He was the commander of the Tuscan army.

"It can be taken. With a bit of luck and some blood it can be taken" replied the man with the black beard. His name was Gritti, captain Gritti, and he was the fore-most siege-expert in the Tuscan army.

"So what should we do?" asked Piombo who was a man of field-battle who didn't understand the complexity of sieges.

"Bring out the "Diabolo" and show the people of Mantua what they can expect."

The "Diabolo" or the "Devil" was the largest cannon in the Tuscan army. It had been bought from the French in 1505 and was frequently used as a siege weapon.

"You know best. Bring out the "Diabolo" and fire an inciendary round!" Eight horses began struggling, trying to pull the gigantic cannon ino position. After ten minutes of work the cannon was in position. The crew began working, first heting up a cannonball over a fire. when it glowed whitely because of the heat they quickly lifted the ball with a large pair of pliers, put it in the cannon and fired the charge. After a large boom and a huge smoke-cloud the cannonball was on it's way. With tremendous speed it flew in towards the city of Mantua.

The tallest building in Mantua at the time was the church-steeple at the cathedral. Inside the tower was, beside the bell, five cannons stored. Some powder-kegs were also kept in the tower. The cannonball from the "Diabolo", still glowing from the heat was heading straight for that tower. With a huge klang the cannonball crashed into the bell. The klang was followed by an explosion as the collapse of the ball caused the gunpowder to explode. The explosion weakened the floor. The weight of the cannons caused the floorboards to shatter and the cannons along with the remains of the bell crashed through all the stories of the steeple. This caused the entire steeple to collapse and fall onto the cathedral.

Outside the city Captain Gritti saw as the flames erupted from the collapsed steeple. "That should make them surrender" he thought.

On the second day of the siege captain Gritti advised colonel Piombo to try the strength of the defenses by a charge on the walls. In the early morning mist the attack-columns gathered...

"Company, present arms!" The men of B-company were lead by captain Lingu from Modena. He used to be an officer in the army of Modena but had been conscripted into the Tuscan army. He was prou of his company and he was sure that they would be the first to get over the walls of Mantua.

B-company were the first company in the line of mens that was attack-column West. They would attack the city-walls on a place that had been weakened by cannon-fire on the first day of the siege.

Captain Lingu waited. The attack would begin with the full fury of the Tuscan guns onto the defenders. Then the attack-columns would charge and try to get over the walls.

The silence was ripped apart by the thunder of the Tuscan guns. The guns of the city answered. The Tuscan guns were stronger and soon silenced the guns in the city. But the defenders were mostly unhurt. Shaken by the sudden fire they first cowered but soon got up and prepared themselves for the task of defending the walls from the Tuscans.

"Company, move to attack-point Rome!" B-company began moving, first slowly. The fire from the walls intensified as the columns got closer. It felt like an eternity until B-company reached their attack-point. "Company, CHARGE!" Captain Lingu gave the order and the company began increasing thier speed, first jogging but soon running in full speed towards the walls that continued to spew out fire and a hail of bullets. When they reached the walls they started raising the tall ladders that were custom-made for these walls.

"Hail Mary, full of mercy. Hail Mary, full of mercy. Hail Mary, full of mercy." It was all that captain Lingu could think as the first, bravest men began escalating the ladders. It took only a few minutes until the ladder was tipped over by the defenders. Noone had gotten high enough to get hurt when they hit the ground. "Right men, let's get it up again!" Captain Lingu shouted out his order to get across the deafening noise of the cannons. "I hope that some other company gets across" he thought to himself.

The ladder was finally up again. This time he took the lead himself. He began escalating the ladder with only a sword in his hand. Behind him was private Mirando, a man who was usually shy and silent. Now he was screaming wildly and kept pushing his captain to go faster.

More and more bullets flew past captain Lingu's face. He kept climbing and climbing. Then one of the Venerian defenders on the wall fired his arquebuis straight downwards, in the general direction of the Tuscan troops.

"It feels like being kicked by a donkey" thought captain Lingu as the bullet hit straight in his chest. The blow caused him to lose his grip on the ladder. He fell. "So this is it" was the last thought that crossed his mind. Then nothing.

"The attack isn't going very well, colonel" said captain Gritti as he looked on the assault through his binocular. "I suggest we cancel any further attacks and count our losses" "You are the expert, Gritti" replied the colonel and gave an order to and adieutant who quickly rode off to give the order to the commanders.

When the assault had been ended and the Tuscan forces had gathered and been counted it was clear to see that the assault had been a failure. The defenders had been weakened both morally and in numbers. But in front of the walls lay hundreds of dead soldiers. Among them were all the members of a force which had been founded only two weeks before the war. The Tuscan royal marines were an elite force who had lead the attack on the main gate of Mantua. Despite horrible odds they contnued to attack the defenders and were fought down to the last man by an enemy force three times as large.

"What do we do now?" asked the colonel as he with shock looked on the shaken Tuscan army. "We will have to wait. Pound the walls and wait until the defenders have to surrender" replied captain Gritti.

After many weeks of siege the garrison finally gave up on december 17. The brave defenders were put into the Tuscan army to fill the holes which had been inflicted during the assault.

After thirteen days of resting and reorganizing the army moved towards Venice.


Some news that didn't reach the army was that the people of Modena rebelled against Tuscan rule on the first of January 1517.

Outside the city of Venice

"Any a advice, Gritti?" asked the colonel as he looked on the walls of the city. This was the largest city he had ever seen he thought to himself.

"Assualt at once. The Venetian defenders are afraid of our reputation from Mantua and our large army. They should give up in a few days"

"Are you sure?"

"No. But do it anyway. I'll take full responsibility if things go wrong."

"No, the responsibility is mine. I will do as you advice me."

Once again the Tuscan army prepared for an assualt. This time, they promised themselves, things would go better.

After a hard battle, during which the Tuscan army was close to collapse, the last defenders surrendered. The city of Venice had been captured.


In the light of our capture of Venice we will hold peace talks with the Venetians. I have been elected as the leader of the negotiators.

A conference-room in Venice

Me: "Here are the demands of the Tuscan realm: The province Mantua, your entire treasury, twenty warships and ten percent of your income for the next ten years."

Venetian negotiator: *gulp*"We are willin to give you our treasury and the province Mantua."

M: "Not enough, I'm afraid."

VM: "But what if I give you, as a personal gift, 50 ducats."

M: "Hmmm. You got yourself a deal. The province Mantua and your treasury to Tuscany plus 50 ducats just for me."


When the peace was signed there was great rejoicing in the cities of Tuscany and in the Tuscan army. It was time for the army to move to Modena and restore order to the province.

February 21
Kurpfalz pay off the Savoyans with 84 ducats for a separate peace.

March 1
The army begin moving on Mantua.

April 1
The army moves towards Emilia.

April 3
We arrange a royal marriage with the French. The kings brother marries a French princess.

May 1
The army move towards Modena and the rebels.

May 21
The army arrives and starts to fight the rebels.

June 5
Those rebels thought very bravely and managed to kill several Tuscan soldiers before they were finally defeated.

September 12
Pommerania becomes a vassal of the Hansa.

1518

February 15
Poland-Lithuania gives 90 ducats to Denmark for a separate peace.

March 19
Kurpfalz gives 72 ducats to Britany for a separate peace.

April 3
Holstein break their vassalage to Denmark.

June 17
My daughter Catarina begin her studies under the brilliant professor Dogitti.

December 1
We begin building a new ship in Modena.

December 9
Kurpfalz pays off France with 97 ducats for peace. This means that the French-Spanish war is over.

December 12

The throne-room

King: "Finally you're here, Nocardia!"

Me: "What was it that you wanted, your majesty?"

K: "I've been thinking, and I have realized that this king-business is mighty boring."

M: "What!?"

K: "All the public appearances, the hard work and those annoying diplomats."

M: "But what about the power, the money, the power?"

K: "Nah, you can't make me change my mind. I will abdicate and leave the throne to my cousin Giulio de Medici."


1519
It was at the New-Years-Eve party that the king announced that he was going to abdicate. His cousin was crowned Giulio I already the next day.

January 14
Karl V has been elceted emperor of the so called holy Roman empire.

March 6
The Greeks offered us to start an alliance with them. We said thanks, but no thanks. The Greeks are too weak to be our allies but strong enough to remain our friends.

September 1
A ship has been completed in Modena and a new one is already under construction.

December 8
Giulio I went out publicly today and declared that peasants were smelly persons who lived in their own dung. Before we had a chance to explain that he had meant something else the news spread. There is a small risk that this might lead to rebellions in Florence and Luca. [OOC: Peasant unrest, +3 in revolt-risk]
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Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

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Old September 8, 2002, 14:29   #32
Pavlov
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Man oh man. I forced myself to re-read this and I've never seen a larger hive of bad jokes and typo's.
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Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

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Old September 9, 2002, 15:11   #33
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Does anyone actually read this? There's plenty of views but I fear those are only people going: "Dang it, it wasn't porn this time either"
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Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

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Old September 9, 2002, 19:44   #34
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I permit I read it
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Old September 12, 2002, 16:57   #35
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Yup and always think of your dearest fan and reader: Galvi
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Old September 13, 2002, 08:15   #36
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Jupp, it is rather enjoable.
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