The Jungle Gazette: Volume XIX

UnOrthOdOx · September 24, 2002, 16:33

The Jungle Gazette

Your Light in the Jungle - September 24, 310 AD

This issue is mostly for fun as there is not allot new going on

THE GAZETTE ON STRIKE!!!

We here at the Gazette are tired of the disrespect that has been shown towards us through a number of organizations. First came the Constitutional Convention, and their intention to REMOVE!!! reporters from the constitution. Look here: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=59314

This will only lead to the Government and their ability to withhold information from our reporters, and therefore from YOU, the people. Sure, people argue that the only purpose of the clause was for the distribution of the save file back when it was only let out via E-mail, but we here contend that this clause is the ONLY way in which we can continue to bring quality reports and interviews from government officials. It lays out that the Gov't is REQUIRED to provide us with the information that we request. So much is going on that is not included in the save that we cannot allow such information to be withheld!

Then, more recently, our very process for printing has been stolen. Look here: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...08#post1319791

Not only have they gone and stolen our very process of pressing such things as banana leaves to form this fine material for easy distribution, they fail to give ANY credit to it's rightful place. How hard would it be to call the machine a Gazette Press, or Gazette production factory, but NO!!! They call it a paper press as if it was some 'NEW' discovery when we here at the Gazette have been doing such for thousands of years.

What's more, they tried to appease me by offering some pathetic token of a paper press as if I was in need of Charity!!! What about the many editors and contributors to the Gazette, and why on earth would I need your 'Paper press' when I have SEVERAL of my Banana leaf presses in operation throughout our nation?!?

I will not sit back and let this paper be disrespected in such a manner. I call now for each and every one of our readers to join me in a protest march on BOTH of these threads!

- UnOrthOdOx

If you are looking for actual news, check the newspage tomorrow, I write the update tonight and all will be on there

Shiber · September 24, 2002, 16:45

Fight the oppression UnOrthOdOx!!
The people are behind you. (and they're running away because the oppression has guns)

Aro · September 24, 2002, 16:53

Hey, just like the old times (here in Brazil, I mean

)
Fight for your rights, UnOrthO!!
And yeah, we are running away. Those goons have pikes!

Sean · September 24, 2002, 17:00

Outrageous! ;-)

OPD · September 24, 2002, 17:09

Yes my plans for an all out dictatorship are finally coming to fruition I now only need to get rid of the judicial system.

GhengisFarb™ · September 24, 2002, 17:16

So does this mean the Gazette is now classified as a tabloid?

Shiber · September 24, 2002, 18:24

Great! We'll have reports of UFO sightings in the Gazette!!
Hey, wait a minute... this isn't such a bad idea.

Ninot · September 24, 2002, 18:56

Quote:

Originally posted by OPD
Yes my plans for an all out dictatorship are finally coming to fruition I now only nee to get rid of the judicial system.

my legacy, to be destroyed?

i can't have it!

if such a thing should occur, why, i will have to renew my dictators club license!

GhengisFarb™ · September 24, 2002, 21:04

Perhaps the Gazette should have a "gossip" section where the less newsworthy rumors can be printed.

Arnelos · September 25, 2002, 02:49

Quote:

Originally posted by GhengisFarb
Perhaps the Gazette should have a "gossip" section where the less newsworthy rumors can be printed.

So it is your belief that the above article is a "less newsworthy rumor"?

Vitreous Humor · September 25, 2002, 03:41

Quote:

Originally posted by GhengisFarb
So does this mean the Gazette is now classified as a tabloid?

Only he posts a page three girl.

Now there's an idea for an officiall poll: Should The Gazette.....

Nubclear · September 25, 2002, 04:20

*Sigh* This is the exact reason I left the Planet Earth. You people simply do not know how to behave like humans.

Barbarians.....all of you....

notyoueither · September 25, 2002, 04:31

UnOrthOdOx, a press not of the government is free of the government...

Revolutionary thought there, yes?

OPD, come and get me.

Arnelos · September 25, 2002, 10:03

[roleplay]

Concerned Apolytonians, those who love the free press and wish more freedoms for our great people, join the republican movement!

Find details here:

http://apolyton.com/forums/showthrea...threadid=62839

[/roleplay]

=OttomusCeasar= · September 25, 2002, 10:06

Quote:

Originally posted by Vitreous Humor

Only he posts a page three girl.

Now there's an idea for an officiall poll: Should The Gazette.....

Don't give any ideas like that!

Now GF will have to start a Page 3 tabloid, but what would it be called?

The Banana?

mrmitchell · September 25, 2002, 20:58

This is why Apolyton should have several major newspapers. (No disrespect, the Jungle Gazette is excellent.) Having several will lead to competition=length=good stories and eventually over many big rivalries collapse to tabloids. (I can see it now: Aliens abduct President, replace with robot/Elvis clone) Of course, I don't have the time to start one.

OPD · September 25, 2002, 21:26

Quote:

Originally posted by notyoueither
OPD, come and get me.

I really can't think of a reason not to have a "should we do away with the court?" poll. I may do one 2morrow.

UnOrthOdOx · September 25, 2002, 21:53

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmitchell
This is why Apolyton should have several major newspapers. (No disrespect, the Jungle Gazette is excellent.) Having several will lead to competition=length=good stories and eventually over many big rivalries collapse to tabloids. (I can see it now: Aliens abduct President, replace with robot/Elvis clone) Of course, I don't have the time to start one.

That is the best joke I have seen in a long time.

I can't even find anyone to HELP on this one, let alone start a new paper...

Frankly, though, I would love to see someone start another paper up so I wouldnt feel too awful should I miss an edition...

There are days when I feel a bit burnt out on this...

Shiber · September 25, 2002, 22:10

I was thinking about starting a Consumers Leaflet or an Economic Newspaper one time, one with articles about ways citizens can save money, promising investments (foreign and domestic) and information on where you can get bananas for the cheapest prices (based on the game's development), but then I thought 'naaaah...'.