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Old September 27, 2002, 19:14   #1
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The Jungle Gazette: Volume XX
The Jungle Gazette



Your Light In The Jungle - September 28, 380 AD


Xerxes Flees Capital
Immortals die after all

It can now be said that it is common for our foes to flee before us. First there was Lincoln, then there were several attempts to capture Joan. Latest in the growing list is Xerxes. Somehow, despite his palace being surrounded, he managed to escape yet again in a battle which pitted our glorious knights against the fabled Persian 'Immortals'. It was quite obvious that some in our military were frightened by these new opponents at first. Then, in a galant display of courage, Aggie proved that the Immortals fame is nothing more than a childs story when he demonstrated quite emphatically that they do indeed bleed and die with one clean stroke of his sword. Emboldened by this new knowled our forces soon siezed Persiopolis only to see that Xerxes had fled. "It is beginning to concern me, frankly. How is it that every one of our enemies have managed to escape at the last minute? There must be SOMEONE giving them advance notice. I will get to the bottom of it, rest assured." Aggie claimed when asked to comment on the incident.

- UnOrthOdOx

Great Wonder Achieved
Our second leaders great work is completed

With the emergence of our second leader came an opportunity for us to achieve greatness once again. Cheops soon went to work marshalling the local citizens in a massive project that would astound all men to gaze upon it. The Sistine Chapel, as it is known now stands as a shining beacon in Ubergorsk to announce to the world that we are not only a militant people, but also a Religious people. "This Wonder will show the world that we are a deeply religious people, and will encourage our own citizens to participate in Religious activities. I expect to see great Cathedrals being built soon that will have the masses from all the world flocking to see them." OPD stated.

- UnOrthOdOx

Trading Proves Lucrative
"Crititical to the success of Cheops"

Our emmissaries have done it yet once again. First they met with Ceasar and arranged for the purchase of the marvelous Ivory that you should now be seeing in your local town. In return, we offer Ceasar and his people some of our Glorious Dyes that they may create garments as vibrant as ours and a few Lytons. Then they stepped forth to exchange knowledge with Hammurabi. Through intense negotiations they walked away with Theology in exchange for Chivalry and a few paltry Lytons. "This may have been one of the greatest successes at the bargaining table yet." Togas explained. "The deal with Ceasar will help to improve relations between our lands, and provide something for him to lose should he decide to attempt any agressive action against us. More impressive, however, was the acquisition of Theology. Our trading proved critical in the success of Cheops and the construction of the Sistine Chapel. We have it on good authority that several nations were attempting to build it at the same time. That will teach them to attempt to compete with us."

- UnOrthOdOx

Constitutional Convention Seeks Assistance
Asking for public input

Today, the Constitutional Convention has brought a plea to the people. "The Constitutional Convention needs you. Yes, you." notyoueither stated. "Tell us where the holes are in the current CoL... Think back. What was that major issue, and where was the CoL deficient in helping us through it." adaMada added "We ARE reading and discussing these -- keep up the awsome work!" To voice your opinion on what you feel they need to look into most, go to the Suggestion Box located at the center of the nearest city.

- UnOrthOdOx

New Discussion Entity
City Council formed

A new public entity was formed today. The City Council. "Lets face it, City Planning IS the game. Without troops we produce, there would be no SMC. Without the cash we obtain there would be no MoE, and no MoS. Without the buildings we build, our lands would be in Chaos. We need an entity where people can come and discuss their ideas on how to best fill those many needs." UnOrthOdOx said. "Want to shape the future of Apolytonia? Join The City Counsel and help determine what is built where, when, why, and how!"

- UnOrthOdOx

Arnelos Writes Fact Book
Find all you need to know

Ever wanted to know sush things as How large are our boundaries? Or simply learn a bit of history? Look no further! Arnelos has cmpiled a list of entertaining and interesting facts of our past and present into one handy reference. The World Fact Book Entry for Apolytonia.

- UnOrthOdOx

Pyramids Captured in Persia
Apolytonia claims THREE Wonders

After and exhusting search for Xerxes, our military finally got to inspecting what was left of Persiopolis. "We had been hearing it for days. It was practically a warcry from the Persians 'we can't let them tke the Pyramids'." Aggie stated "So highly did those that I...'interviewed' speak of them, I nearly expected these Pyramids to let out some great bolt of lightning to consume our army. Now that we are here, and see them up close... I don't know, maybe we could us them for food storage...I guess. Oh, don't get me wrong. I am SUUURE they were impressive a few thousand years ago, but today? They are just a big building barely fit for holding grain. Nothing compared to the value of THIS" (Aggie points to his copy of The Art Of War)

- UnOrthOdOx

Interview with OPD

IT is an honor to sit down with you Mr President/former P. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule.

What? Just make sure you let my daughter go once we've finished, now lets get this over with.

If you only were able to accomplish one thing this term, what would it be?

I want to build our empire into a solid foundation for the future.
This is already underway more or less, during MWIA's term many first order buildings were constructed and our citieshave started to grow more rather than just being used to build stlrs when they get quite big. Also I'm expecting alot form the palace commitee.


What challenges do you expect to face, and how do you plan to overcome them?

I expect that dirty rat Xervies to try some sort of attack on us sooner or later. Although he doesn't stand a chance. Also Otto is still kicking up a fuss about the reparations he has to pay over the needless war he declared on us. Another war with germany would surely be a challenge but I hope to avoid one, with the help of the cabinet.

Will you consider holding chats at 'off ' times to accomidate some of the global citizens?

Perhaps but they'll have to make their presence known first. If there are any I'll do my best to accomodate them.

And, do you have any plans to improve the flow of chats?

Discuraging spam and OT flooding perhaps I don't know yet.

I thank you once again for your time, and good luck with this term. Oh, and here is your daughter back as promised.

/me motions to Donal Graeme to unhand her

Anytime. May I take this opportunity to publically thank UnOr for the tiresome work he has done during the last term especially on the directory. There was alot of praise going around for MWIA but UnOr appears to have been slightly overlooked he too has done a great service to our community.

- UnOrthOdOx

Editors note

I left that in at the request of OPD. Normally I would not. I do not seek praise or recognition. Everything I have done has been as much for myself as for anyone, and I have had considerable help on it all. Any accomplishments are therefore Apolytonia's, and not mine.

- UnOrthOdOx

edit: Typos killed: 17
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Old September 27, 2002, 19:32   #2
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Another fine job once again, UnOrthOdOx.
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Old September 27, 2002, 19:37   #3
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OK subscribers.

I tried something for you E-mail folks...how did it turn out?
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Old September 27, 2002, 20:11   #4
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What a great issue! This has got to be one of the best issues ever.
I received the Email. The format was okay. Do you need help distributing those Emails?

By the way, in 10 issues we'd have Volume XXX. UnOrthOdOx, are you considering publishing a special issue with centerfold pictures?
What? Girls? I meant centerfold maps of our territory! Can't a man show interest in Cartography without being called a pervert?!
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Old September 27, 2002, 20:15   #5
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I will just say:

Watch Thud's progress on the printing press...

E-mail is easy. Just 50 or so names added into a group...copy the whole list, get like 5 rejctions, but I am too lazy to weed out whoever is rejecting me.
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Old September 27, 2002, 20:37   #6
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I received the Gazette in my mail box early in this morning...
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Old September 27, 2002, 20:55   #7
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Great Work UnOrthO! And thanks for letting me do the hard part. Did you know that bananas can actually hurt, despite being soft fruit, if someone hits in the right place? Took all the fun out of it...I think I better see a shaman or something to have this bruise checked out...

Anyway, I am sorry but Wed. will still not work for me. In fact, they are jam packed. I have a class from 10:00 to midnight that is going to be a bummer.(Astronomy, something we should research...)

BTW, could you put me on the mailing list? Thanks.
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Old September 27, 2002, 20:59   #8
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Ill need you adress again...don't know where that got off to...
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Old September 27, 2002, 22:02   #9
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Wow 20 issues! Keep up the great work.
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Old September 27, 2002, 22:05   #10
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a milestone!
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Old September 27, 2002, 22:27   #11
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1) Excellent issue.

2) Shiber - great idea.
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Old September 27, 2002, 23:36   #12
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Surely the best issue so far!!

Sean.
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Old September 28, 2002, 09:15   #13
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Awsome issue, UnOrthO!

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Old September 28, 2002, 10:18   #14
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In addition to all his already well known virtues, Uno displays here an exquisite modesty ...
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