The Jungle Gazette
Your Light in the Jungle - October 9, 490 AD
Persia conquered
Peace given...at a price
With the might of our armies pressing upon the Persian 'Empire', Xerxes finally came to his senses, and practically begged for a cease fire. In the negotiations, Persia agreed to hand over their map, along with the knowledge of Invention and Education in return for us not grinding them into the sands of history. 'Invention alone will lead our nation into an age where great discoveries are uncovered, but Education is the real prize in my opinion' Thud stated 'Education will allow us to build great institutes of learning called Universities. These will encourage the great minds that have spent their time wandering around the Libraries to gather into one place and focus their attention on specific studies. It will allow many minds working on the same problem to come up with a solution MUCH quicker. Truly a great achievement.'
- UnOrthOdOx
Colony founded
Gathering incense outside our borders
Our first colony has been founded in the hills outside of Susa. 'A colony is a simple notion, really.' GhengisFarb stated 'There are times when we need resources outside our territory, or at a great distance. Colonies will allow us to set up a camp of workers to obtain those resources when the surrounding terrain is either too far, or unfit for an actual settlement. These mobile camps can be constructed much cheaper than a traditional settlement, and are capable of bringing these far off resources into our own trading network. Of course, they also lack the advantages of setting up a town such as the ability to train troops or build improvements to tame the surrounding inhabitants, but it is a trade off that is worthy in certain circumstances.'
- UnOrthOdOx
French City State of Chartres opts to secede from France, join Apolytonia!
[Chartres] In response to wide-spread support for the Kingdom of Apolytonia among the city's populace, the city council of the French City State of Chartres recently decided to secede from France and offer to become a vassal state of the Apolytonian crown. President OPD, on behalf of the Kingdom of Apolytonia, formally accepted the city of Chartres as a vassal of the kingdom, causing a celebration in the Apolytonian capital to briefly interupt the debate in the cabinet over peace negotiations with Persia. Just after President OPD had successfully negotiated the city's oath of fealty to the kingdom, he burst into the cabinet chambers in Apolyton and told the assembled and arguing leaders "you guys aren't going to believe this..." and started panting from having run all the way from the local dispatch office. His silence on just what the cabinet was not supposed to believe caused great concern and speculation that perhaps there had been a rebellion in the conquered city of Arbela, but President OPD quickly put all minds at ease and caused an enormous celebration in the cabinet chambers when he announced that the city of Chartres had chosen to become a vassal of the kingdom! Several of the assembled responded that "you had us really concerned there!" before laughing and drinking copious amounts of wine from the government cellar.
Official reaction from the French capital of Avignon was surprisingly muted, but sources in the French capital reported that Consul Joan d'Arc and other members of the French government was "outraged" at the secession of Chartres and would likely have considered fighting to regain the territory if mighty Apolytonia had not claimed Chartres as a vassal. The secession of Chartres also immediately sparked speculation in the French capital about what should be done to prevent a similar secession by Rheims, a city state which was obviously watching the lack of response from the French government toward the secession of Chartres as a sign for how Rheims would be treated should it follow suit.
- Arnelos
Uber Island Colonized
Entire island now secure
With the final settlement firmly in place, the wilds of Uber Island have now been brought firmly under our control. 'With the entire Island under our control, we will no longer need fear barbarian uprisings to terrorize the fledgling settlements.' GhengisFarb said. Others had more practical implications, however.
Shiber stated 'We have 5 towns in Uber Isle. At the current pace we'll have covered all of Uber Isle except for the small plains area in 26 turns, or less if we rush one of the temples. If another civilization settles anywhere in Uber Isle they'll be easy to flip since:[list=1][*]Every civ either admires our culture or is at least impressed with it.[*]They will have weak garrisons (they'll bring one garrison unit with them on the galley and most likely will not build a second garrison until it's too late).[*]Their city will be relatively close to our capital and very far from their capital, unless it's the Russians. In other words, the Capital Distance Factor will be very high, which is greatly in our favor.[*]We can culturally take several of their 21 city tiles, thus speeding up the process.[/list=1]
More information about culture flipping is available in the thread entitled
Culture Flip Formula.
Anyway, I am saying this because I believe it is time to sell our maps again. As I explained above, we'll have most of Uber Isle covered in the near future, and additionally any towns that any AI civs establish on Uber Isle can be easily flipped.'
- UnOrthOdOx
Citizens of Chartres view Apolytonia "With Awe"
[Chartres] Here at the Gazette, we try to enlighten you, the reader, about the various trends that shape your world. As part of that effort, we recently visited the city of Chartres, recently added to the growing kingdom, to ask the local residents why the city had chosen to secede from France and join with our wonderful kingdom.
What we discovered was that movement to join the kingdom seems to have been primarily driven by Chartres' youth, many of whom had become infatuated with consumer products and other cultural items which the city has been importing from Apolytonia over the years. Many had also coverted to what French officials had condescendingly referred to as "the Cult of the Banana", the growing church in Chartres dedicated to the Apolytonian religion of worshiping the g0dz and the Great Banana. The popularity of Apolytonian language, Apolytonian clothing, Apolytonian food (especially bananas), and Apolytonian religion became such a problem for the French authorities that French Culture and Language Ministry had adopted a policy of enforcing French-only commercial signs and cultural activities in the city, but to no avail. As one of the bright young youths we interviewed told us "the leaders in Avignon simply have not brought their over-sized French egos into alignment with the realities of the world - France is the past, Apolytonia is the future".
Some of the the elder members of the community in Chartres have a different perspective on these events, however. As one elder gentleman in the community expressed, "It's all those [expletive] youth running about ruining everything that is rightly French! France was once and should still be the dominant power in the world and our language and culture are superior to all others... why is it that these youth insist on poisoning the purity of France with Apolytonian culture?" (translated from French) While he was sharing this perspective with us, he was being mocked by several French youth who quickly pointed out to our interviewer that it proved how delusional the old man was to believe that France was ever the dominant world power, nevermind that France was "still important". As our interview ended, the man yelled at the youth, "Be gone you [expletive] poisoners of all that is French! Don't you understand what you're doing to the purity of France?" (translated from French).
Looking at the situation from a more social standpoint, the city of Chartres has been flooded by Apolytonian influences over the past several centuries. Banana-themed clothing has been popular in Chartres' stores and words from the broadly-used Apolytonian language have long been sneaking their way into the vernacular of the citizens, much to the chagrin of the language and culture police. In retrospect, with "the cult of the Banana's" growing popularity among youth, it was likely only a matter of time before the city council was stuffed with supporters of Apolytonia and the city finally seceded from France.
- Arnelos
Aztec's continue to decimate America
Lincoln loses Chicago
With our own war with Persia winding to a close, attention once again turned to America. To our vast surprise, however, America seems to be on the ropes again. This time, however, it is not at our hands. The Aztecs have proceded to march on American cities, swiftly capturing and enslaving their citizens. 'It is a shame that Lincoln is in such a pathetic situation.' Aggie stated 'I mean, you would think that after the last time we knocked him around, he would have at least built up some military. Now he is out there losing to the Aztecs? I don't know, perhaps we should go in and save what remains of the American citizenry from Aztec oppression while we can!' With the fall of Chicago, Lincoln only has claim to a very few cities. If nothing is done soon, many believe that the Aztec people will indeed enslave those remaining cities, and may even turn their eyes towards us afterword.
- UnOrthOdOx
Geofront falls to Timeline
Evas now tied with Ubergorsk
This weekend Geofront showed signs of mortality when the fell to the Timeline Politicians. With the season now in full swing, Geofront finds itself in a tie with the Ubergorsk Irons. When asked to comment on their first loss, Apocalypse, the coach of the Evas, coud only respond "This was with a huge day from Rich too
" adaMada, though seemed more pratical, commenting "I got killed by Seattle's week off, though I guess it's possible that I could struggle back in with three players still to go. Not looking all that hopeful though
. (I can't WAIT till Shawn Alexander comes back, after that awsome week he had last time...)
Anyway, don't worry about it Apoc -- looks like you'll have some company
. All the top ranked teams seem to be loosing right now... " Struggle back in they did, pulling off a last minute rally over the Jerusalem Pickers.
- UnOrthOdOx
) anoter wonderful Gazzete, two thumbs up, 
