Recreation Commons Courthouse

[Kassiopeia]

TKG, I'll look for that log.

What comes to being sucked by a vampire, 1.) most of the victims knew what he was doing and 2.) the ones who didn't deserved it, considering his ploy was so elementary. Half of Poly has been 'sucking blood' the past two weeks.

[Lemmy]

Originally posted by Mr. President
As for witchcraft . . . We're the liberal-socialist U.N. Peacekeepers! If he claims it as his religion, not only can he not be burned for it, we have to subsidize him.

subisdize ey?

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
Yes, where in the law does it say witchcraft is prohibited? It's only banned if he uses it hurt people.

apparantly a lot of people got hurt as a result of me turning Kass into furniture, an entire turnchat was derailed because of that.

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
Where's the evidence that he did that? We have a statement from the police, but nothing else.

*cough* http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?name=Lemmy *cough* http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?name=Lemmy *cough*

[GeneralTacticus]

apparantly a lot of people got hurt as a result of me turning Kass into furniture, an entire turnchat was derailed because of that.

A lot of people were annoyed, I wouldn't say 'hurt' though.

[Kassiopeia]

apparantly a lot of people got hurt as a result of me turning Kass into furniture, an entire turnchat was derailed because of that.

There's no evidence of that. TKG just said you said I was a part of the furniture. What I can say is, one morning I just woke up like this. I like being a chandelier, thanks if it's you who did it.

Besides, it was Skanky Burns who did it. I'm quite certain. "If in doubt, blame Skanky."

[Kassiopeia]

#politics @ apolyton.net (Talk politics - get banned!)

Lemmy> http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?lemmy
Lemmy> brain eating!
TKG> what?
TKG> is this like vampire thing, only with brains?
TKG> *the
Kassiopeia> I think so *doesn't click*
Xuenay> TKG: Yes
Lemmy> off course not
Xuenay> I like the idea of my subconsciousness remembering all sorta stuff
Kassiopeia> http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Kassi
Lemmy> bah, i should devoice you for that...
Lemmy> oooh, link
* Lemmy clicks link
Lemmy> Kassi has eaten 1 brain. Yours was a bit runny.
Kassiopeia> I wonder why...

So, in reality, Lemmy hasn't eaten brains, though I've consumed his (rather runny) ones.

[Method]

yes but the fact remains, he tried to eat brains

[Kassiopeia]

Sure, but his attempt was feeble at best. Come on, he ended up with his own brain eaten.

[Lemmy]

That stupidity can't go unpunished

[Method]

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
Yes, where in the law does it say witchcraft is prohibited? It's only banned if he uses it hurt people.

he did turn kass into furniture

[Kassiopeia]

I would suggest that we add "Use of horrendously bad humour" to the list of chargers. I will seek evidence from within my collection of logs. I have nothing tangible, but in the last turn chat Lemmy aired a very bad joke. The fact that he was on duty and working while doing this adds to the charge's severity.

[Kassiopeia]

Originally posted by TKG
he did turn kass into furniture

What's the problem with that? I've illuminated several council meetings after that happened. I feel so... purposeful now. I'm in gratitude.

[Method]

Originally posted by Kassiopeia
What's the problem with that? I've illuminated several council meetings after that happened. I feel so... purposeful now. I'm in gratitude.

so that's 1 you've ruined, compared to 2 you've done a service in?

[Kassiopeia]

Oh FFS. It was Skanky goddamn Burns! And it was hardly ruined. DBTS called it off not because of the incident but because he thought the system didn't work.

And it's Lemmy we're prosecuting here, not me.

[Method]

Originally posted by Kassiopeia
And it's Lemmy we're prosecuting here, not me.

well maybe we should be prosecuting you, you lousy cabinet meeting-ruining luxury light fixture!

[Mr. President]

Okay, this is getting too weird.

This case is dismissed! Get out of my #%*@ing court room!

[Pandemoniak]

µYour Honour, what about the theft ? And who's gonna clean the gents in the Rec Com ?

[Lemmy]

Yes, what about the theft? and the withcraft? and the evilness?

[Pandemoniak]

And WHO'S GONNA CLEAN THE MESS IN THE REC COMMONS ?

mhwuahaha, dont forget that, lemmy

[Archaic]

Originally posted by Pandemoniak
And WHO'S GONNA CLEAN THE MESS IN THE REC COMMONS ?

/me holds up a bucket and mop

Thank you for volunteering unskilled labourer.

[Kassiopeia]

Erm, I know you aren't exactly fond of Pande or anything, but throwing him at the mercy of a huge slimy tentacle monster is just... evil.

[Lemmy]

/me grabs Pandemoniak and drags him to the bathroom

[Method]

another charge! Grand Theft Pandemoniak!

[GeneralTacticus]

[Mr. President]

Your Honour, what about the theft ? And who's gonna clean the gents in the Rec Com ?

Can't anybody take the law into their own hands any more?

[Hercules]

Hercules who has waited patiently at the back of the Rec.Com court room to be formally called to give evidence, advances, calmly and with measured assurance to the witness box

Your honour.

Pandemoniak invites CI Hercules Partet to speak.

Your lordship,your honour, Mr President.

This case started with the simple observation that many of our citizens were 'disappeared'. Through contacts in the underworld and examination of CCTV evidence I approached General Tacticus and then Lemmy, who was given by GT as an Alibi for the night in question, about these disappearing citizens'

When asked under caution, this is what Lemmy had to say-

uhm...29 Aug eh...yes, i think i was DEI then, i believe i was still celebrating my victory in the election, so my memory is not enirely clear on what happened then.
Btw i didn't drown anyone...doh, you didn't say drown did you?

Not exactly damning evidence but nevertheless interesting. It is also the case that none of the original citizens have been seen again alive (there are reports of people of similar appearance being noticed in undead army ranks).

If Lemmy didn't do it who did???

So there are citizens killed regularly but no one knows who does it. though Frankychan, (spotted once near the recycing tanks) acknowledged that the area was well known as a convenient facility for recycling bodies ahead of their time.. In fact Kass and Pande played the sport of 'recycling houdini' (tie contestant in chains and throw into the tank and time escape) there quite often.

Nevertheless people went missing and their 'source' bodies were never found. More on that shortly.

Secondly there was the charge of Grand Theft Xenobrew. There were many witnessess to this though the actual stolen product was never recovered in its original condition. However immediately after the event, Lemmy's 'P' analysis showed distinctive and unique trace elements associated with the Xenobrew batch of the day.

After that there was the CCTV'd record of the Little Theft Microkred and the assault and leaving the scene of the crime

On being approached to answer these charges. Lemmy said

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I confess, i did it!!!! I did it all, i stole the money, i confess to the Grand Theft Xenobrew, i confess to the serial
killings!! And you know why i did it? Because i'm evil
Yeah, that's right, EVIL!!!

* Lemmy knocks out Kass for "helping" him.

See, i'm evil...Mwuahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After this the charges seem to multiply and including witchcraft which seemed to involved evverything from vampires to cloning: Maniac, Archaic, Gnool. Some of the voices defending ask for evidence.

I here now reveal the most compelling evidence that cloning is being practiced This can surely only be explained by witchcraft or by the intervention of a mad scientist

DE posts this:
Citizen Registry



Out with the old, in with the new.

The previous signup thread will be replaced by this one. Could all members still playing please sign up again, so we know who's still around? Consider this something of a census.

I'll still keep a straight member list in this first post, same as last time, but if each person could please fill in the information below in a seperate post.

Current Members

1) Darkness' Edge
2) Frankychan
3) Tassadar5000
4) Maniac
5) MrWhereItsAt
6) GeneralTacticus
7) moomin
8) Pandemoniak
9) Wojit
10) DeathByTheSword
11) Main_Brain
12) FlameFlash
13) Archaic
14) Joeno
15) Lemmy
16) lucky22
17) TKG
18) Maniac
19) dmm1285
20) Hercules
21) Kassiopeia
22) Mr. President
23) Mellian
24) Vlad Antlerkov
25) AdamTG02
26) Whitemage
27) -Groucho-
28) Earwicker
29) Schinkenjoe
30) Thud

So where did the second Maniac come from (see above 4 and 18)

Lastly we had an excellent prosecutor and many public gallery defenders (who produced splendid legal arguments) amongst the most able was a piece of furniture (some called it the bar). However the same piece of furniture and chandelier declared

I wish to be admitted indefinitely to the mental hospital.

.

This my evidence.

I suggest that Mr President organises a jury poll on the original charges and those charges that have arisen in the process. Sentencing ( if found guilty) will pronounced afterwards by Mr President.

[GeneralTacticus]

I would like to question the validity of this evidence:

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I confess, i did it!!!! I did it all, i stole the money, i confess to the Grand Theft Xenobrew, i confess to the serial
killings!! And you know why i did it? Because i'm evil
Yeah, that's right, EVIL!!!

* Lemmy knocks out Kass for "helping" him.

See, i'm evil...Mwuahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Lemmy has repeatedly indicated that he wants to go to jail. Hence, this evidence cannot be trustworthy, as it is likely to be biased.

[Hercules]

Mr President The fact that Lemmy repeatedly indicates that he wants to go to jail does not invalidate this properly witnessed confession.

This may well be a clever triple bluff strategy to avoid the double jeapardy angle if more evidence emerges.

It may well be a quadruple strategy for all we know.

Your honour and the jury, stick to the known evidence.

[GeneralTacticus]

Mr President The fact that Lemmy repeatedly indicates that he wants to go to jail does not invalidate this properly witnessed confession.

Ah, but it does. If he wants to go to jail, then his confessions cannot be trusted, as they are likely to be untrue. As for the bluff angle, this only invalidates his confessions, not any other evidence that may be produced.