My ex-girlfriend has died - Page 2

Alex · January 15, 2003, 08:39

Sorry to know about this, Diss.

Once I met a girl who liked me and we used to talk for brief moments everyday (it was in my workplace). I could sense she was interested in me. But I had no time to even talk to her about this. Few minutes after she left my office, she died in a car accident. It was a shock. Suddenly, everything lost its meaning, it was like being surrounded by a limbo: time suspended its perpetuous march. I still remember that day.

Bas · January 15, 2003, 10:52

Sorry to hear it, Diss. My condolences.

Dis · January 15, 2003, 15:05

You always remember your first. She wasn't my first girlfriend, but my first love. I didn't have any romantic feelings for her anymore, but I did keep in contact with her. This is hardest on my cousin because it was her best friend. And my aunt helped raise her because my ex-girlfriend's mother was kind of screwed up. So I feel bad more for my cousin and aunt than myself. I really hadn't seen my ex-girlfriend in a while, we just kept in contact with e-mails. I heard she was thinking about flying out to meet me. I guess I didn't turn her down forcibly enough. I was far too subtle. I just don't like to be viscious and hurt women. I suppose it is for the best, as it gave her hope. And it doesn't matter now I suppose. But I get this weird feeling now I hear she was coming to see me.

*random musings*

It is strange how grief feels so selfish sometimes. How we think about how much we have lost. But like I said, she was my cousin's best friend. She must be going through hell right now. She is far away from where I live, so I don't know.

Dis · January 15, 2003, 15:09

I have no idea what Al wrote. I suppose that is for the best. Most stuff doesn't bother me, but it might have yesterday. I will be over this quickly because I was not that close. Other members of my family will be hurting for a lot longer, because they were much closer. So I feel bad for them.

Dis · January 15, 2003, 15:15

I have more random thoughts on death in general.

I have been insensitive to death you hear about in the news where they cause their own death. I find it very hard to be sensitive to stuff I hear in the news; desensitized is the word I'm looking for obviously. Apparantly she caused her own death. She just was not careful while driving and attempted to cross a busy highway...

Should I feel less worse about people who cause their own death? I have in the past, but it doesn't seem right. It always seems much worse when people are snatched away by the actions of others. But she just wasn't a good enough driver, and made a crucial mistake.

Arghh, I can go crazy thinking about this. I never know how I should feel.

Driving is such a serious thing, and people do not take it seriously enough. Even I don't sometimes. I consider myself an excellent driver, I have never made a mistake that could endanger my life. I have made a few mistakes that could result in a collision, but not life threatening. But car accidents are still the most likely way for people my age to die. But even after this I still feel immortal. I still feel I cannot die. I like to think because my driving skills are so good, I can avoid a life threatening situation. But there are times where you have no control...

anyways the moral of this random thought is to drive more safely. Think before you place your vehicle in front of high speed traffic. Peace.

Az · January 15, 2003, 15:26

I am very sorry Diss.

Car accidents seem to be the number one reason for death of apolyton's loved ones.

Boris Godunov · January 15, 2003, 15:33

Quote:

Originally posted by Dissident
I have been insensitive to death you hear about in the news where they cause their own death. I find it very hard to be sensitive to stuff I hear in the news; desensitized is the word I'm looking for obviously. Apparantly she caused her own death. She just was not careful while driving and attempted to cross a busy highway...

Should I feel less worse about people who cause their own death? I have in the past, but it doesn't seem right. It always seems much worse when people are snatched away by the actions of others. But she just wasn't a good enough driver, and made a crucial mistake.

Accidents happen, and you can't condemn a person because she made a mistake like this. It wasn't as if she was flagrantly being careless with her life--she did something everyone probably does at least once, which is unthinkingly make a driving mistake. Unfortunately, she had the horrible luck of having her life taken because of that mistake.

It's no less painful for her family and loved ones--perhaps even more. They have to live knowing that, had she just been a little more careful in that one instant, she might be alive. To me, that only compounds the tragedy.

Two days after I graduated high school, a good friend of mine was killed in a car wreck. He had been depressed due to his girlfriend's pending move, and had smoked up on marijuana and then tried to drive to school. Long story short, he ran a stop sign, got nailed by a van, and died in the hospital that night. To make matters worse, he was the second son of this family to die, as his twin brother had been killed in a freak accident 7 years prior to that. I was very angry at how stupid and needless his death was, but also just dumbstruck at the tragedy for the family. But it certainly didn't lessen my grief or sensitivity over the thing, as he was 17 at the time and, like all teens, prone to bouts of selfish stupidity. This one happened to have killed him.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but as time goes on you will accept it and learn to remember your time together fondly as the precious thing that it was.

Dis · January 15, 2003, 15:36

good point Boris.

Thanks for all the responses guys.

Rasbelin · January 15, 2003, 15:41

/me joins the choir of sad smilies.

Sorry and my condolences.

statusperfect · January 15, 2003, 17:38

Saras · January 15, 2003, 18:09

Cheer up dis, anyway. Life goes on.

FrustratedPoet · January 15, 2003, 18:19

Quote:

Originally posted by Saras
Life goes on.

Not for the poor souls who die in car crashes it doesn't.

Is "cheer up" the most daft and redundant thing to say to somebody who's grieving? I think it might be...

TCO · January 15, 2003, 18:26

Quote:

Originally posted by FrustratedPoet

Not for the poor souls who die in car crashes it doesn't.

Is "cheer up" the most daft and redundant thing to say to somebody who's grieving? I think it might be...

Leave him be. Saras is a good dude and means his words well. Don't turn it into a kvetch session. We all express our condolenses a little differently.

FrustratedPoet · January 15, 2003, 18:29

Maybe you're right. Besides, English isn't his first language.

Sorry Saras.

Provost Harrison · January 15, 2003, 19:20

Sorry to hear that man, I know of too many people who have lost their lives, or nearly lost their lives, in motoring accidents.

Ben Kenobi · January 15, 2003, 21:03

Dissident- nothing selfish about grieving. It just shows how much you cared.

Don't worry about what you should feel, just let it come.

Hope things work out for the best.

Guardian · January 16, 2003, 10:34

I know this line is getting old, but I'm sorry too...

Sounds like there was no ill will between the two of you, which might not give much comfort right now, but at least you have that.

/me smiles a sad smile.

It is the good times that will be remembered.