ALOTD: My new webpage - FEATURING ME!!!

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 17:02

...and a quick note to all of you jerks out there

*PLEASE NOTE: ALL EMAILS SENT TO ANDREW ARE SCREENED BEFORE THEY REACH HIS EYES.
OFFENSIVE EMAILS ARE REPORTED TO THE POLICE.

Nubclear · January 28, 2003, 17:03

OMG OMG OMG ZYLKA SIGHTING +1!!!!!

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 17:04

RFLOT2/47 MOG OMG SETTLAR2 WUZ BANNED BY MARKG FOR SWEARING!!! +2

Provost Harrison · January 28, 2003, 17:05

I'm going to send an offensive email. I'm not scared of the mounties

Japher · January 28, 2003, 17:08

Has your voice changed?

Anyway, good luck, and more power to you.

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 17:12

HAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

Boris Godunov · January 28, 2003, 17:14

Who is that? Really?

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 18:11

Would all of you please kindly join my fanpage (pay access only)? ...and YES, the wallpaper selection is FREE!!!

orange · January 28, 2003, 18:11

apparently some 15 year old piece of trash from Minnesota who likes Celiene Dion.

ixnay · January 28, 2003, 18:27

Needs more fingersnaps.

[/SomethingAwfulForumsInsideJoke]

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 18:30

I'm actually not a member of the SA forums, is it worth it? I'd sign Rich a $10, 000 cheque if I was wealthy... but my $10 isn't going to feed his coke addiction if a bunch of retards who don't "get it" plague the place!!!

ixnay · January 28, 2003, 18:33

Best $10 I spent last year. Just make sure you don't get banned. It seems that everyone that's joined in '03 has been a clueless retard. So you might want to hold off on joining until February to avoid the label attatched to the "1-03"s.

Datajack Franit · January 28, 2003, 18:38

How can you not recognize the unlimited talent of this obese teenager!

Datajack Franit · January 28, 2003, 18:40

BTW that site appeared on something awful's link of the day, just a cpl of days ago

BustaMike · January 28, 2003, 18:42

Yikes! He must go to a private school 'cause the kids at a public school would beat him up for sure.

Alexander's Horse · January 28, 2003, 19:06

Nice design.

SpencerH · January 28, 2003, 19:07

Awful!

Sava · January 28, 2003, 19:13

Andrew's going to come on here and be devastated and sue MarkG for punitive damages.

Dis · January 28, 2003, 20:15

who is this person?

Datajack Franit · January 28, 2003, 20:17

Some fatass pretending to be a talented singer, only to sue the goddamn right of the people to make fun of him

Alexander's Horse · January 28, 2003, 20:25

I thought it was pretty nifty web design. Nice sharp images.

*pats Zylka on the head*

monolith94 · January 28, 2003, 20:42

I can't believe I stopped listen to the Amelie soundtrack to listen to that. I could never believe that Zylka is this Andrew person? ? not in a MILLION years.

Dis · January 28, 2003, 21:06

I could believe that

Datajack Franit · January 28, 2003, 21:13

Amelie rulz

Zylka · January 28, 2003, 21:15

Now the psychotic b*tch is playing little pop up "online for 6 seconds" games on msn messenger, when I was seemingly on ignore for the past 3 months.

Hold on a seco

Boris Godunov · January 29, 2003, 00:18

Holy ****ing hell, I actually made the mistake of listening to the sound clip... I had hoped at least his vocal talents would make up for his appearance. Dear lord, he sucks. This is the closest thing I've heard to an auditory laxative since the Mrs. Miller albums...

Wittlich · January 29, 2003, 00:23

Now, now Boris...even if it's (well, you know), be nice.

Zylka · January 29, 2003, 00:28

That hurt, Boris. But if you truly feel that way though, check this critique of my site out:

I'm an only child and I'll be the first to admit that compared to most of my friends I was a pretty spoiled guy. However, there were times my parents would allow common sense to temper their spoilage, like for instance, if I asked if they would pay to have some fake record label make a CD of me singing I think they probably would have shot the idea down. A big factor in their reasoning would probably be that my voice is about as appealing as Gilbert Gotfried's filtered through a police radio and a concert amp, then somehow filtered through another system that transforms sound into a hurricane of glass shards. Hey, that didn't stop Andrew Antone and his dream to embarrass the **** out of himself and his family by getting them to finance a CD.

Ugh. Kill it before it breeds! Actually if anything I feel sorry for Andrew. He's a puffy kid with an average voice, really gay sweaters, and the worst taste in everything imaginable. Unfortunately, either his parents or some hideous fever dream of his gave him the idea that there was a career waiting for him in the entertainment business. No, not waiting, careers wait for talented people. People like Andrew have to ****ing BATTER their way into the entertainment industry with no less than three web sites and two pay-to-play CDs to his name. Did I mention that one of the web sites is a ****ing members-only fan club? Five dollars says that the accounts belonging to members of that club are "TestAccount", "TestAccount2", "AndrewStone", "AndrewsMom", and "GrammyStone".
I'm sure if Andrew's parents pour enough capital to house ten poverty level families down the shithole on Andrew's vanity career as a singer/actor/dullard they will eventually be thrilled to see him standing next to Jerry Orbach during an exterior crowd scene on "Law & Order". Maybe, if we're all really lucky, he'll get sassy on the set with Jerry and the right honorable Orbach will pop him a couple times in the mouth and we'll get to see it all on tape. In the mean time, let's keep hoping for an extinction-level meteor to hit the earth just so it takes him out too.

ixnay · January 29, 2003, 00:32

Boris Godunov · January 29, 2003, 00:39

Hey, get a load of his favorites:

FOOD:

Type: Chinese Cuisine & Persian / Middle Eastern Cuisine
Drink: Vanilla Coke
Restaurant: Mandarin Palace (Santa Barbara, CA)
Pizza: Dominos
Ice Cream Flavor: Sugar Cookie Dough
Dessert: Kit Kat Bars

Looks like he gets loads of them, too...