I want an honest oil war

DinoDoc · February 6, 2003, 15:16

It's past time that we invade Canada.

1) They have oil. That's a good a reason to invade them as any given. The oil can also be used to finance the invasion costs and ease the reconstruction of thier newly annexed lands.

2) They have a large French speaking population. That should speed the conclusion of the "adventure" given that a whole province is likely to surrender to us before the ink is dry on the DOW.

3) It's closer than Iraq so supply problems won't crop up.

4) They deserve to be punished for inflicting Celine Dion on the world.

Have I missed any other valid reasons for invasion?

SlowwHand · February 6, 2003, 15:18

You make a good case, Doc.

Oerdin · February 6, 2003, 15:21

(Singing the south park song) "Blame Canada, Blame Canada..."

Wezil · February 6, 2003, 15:23

1) Yes we do. We are your main supplier in fact (more than the Saudi's)

2) Yes, Quebec would surrender quickly, BUT,

3) With US geography skills, we can rest easy knowing you can't find us,

4) Avril Levigne, Alanis Morrissette, Bryan Adams, (the list is endless - you like our crap so we send it south, we keep the good stuff here)

cinch · February 6, 2003, 15:24

Quote:

1) They have oil. That's a good a reason to invade them as any given. The oil can also be used to finance the invasion costs and ease the reconstruction of thier newly annexed lands.

Ha! The joke's on you! The biggest oil sands in Alberta will "dry up" before you hit Red Deer!

Sure, we've technically got some of the biggest oil areas in the world, but when it takes you 1/3 of a barrel to extract 1 full barrel from the oil-mud-sludge, you know you're not gonna be running a profit for long.

Never the less... Take to the hills!

SlowwHand · February 6, 2003, 15:26

"3) With US geography skills, we can rest easy knowing you can't find us"

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 15:48

The battle of Stoney Creek.

Suck it.

orange · February 6, 2003, 16:16

Quote:

3) With US geography skills, we can rest easy knowing you can't find us,

DinoDoc · February 6, 2003, 16:16

Stop living in the past, Kitty. Look foward to your future as an American citizen.

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 16:17

Try us. Maybe the 4th time's the charm.

GePap · February 6, 2003, 16:21

As all American know, our great enemy to the East must be dealt with; But we must make sure that Canada's other neighbors, Tuvalu, Papua New Guinea, Luxembourg, Tajikistan, and Mexico all back the war as well.

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 16:23

You guys are really bad damn neighbours, you know that.

It's a shame the Mexicans didn't do as goo a job in containing the Yankee threat as we did.

Wezil · February 6, 2003, 16:28

I hope you're kidding Frogger. We could have done a hell of a lot worse.

Despite disagreements with the US, they are and have been very good neighbours all things considered.

Besides who else will sign Celine to a multi-year performance contract, hence keeping her out of our country? Be grateful lad.

Dauphin · February 6, 2003, 16:32

Quote:

Originally posted by DinoDoc
That should speed the conclusion of the "adventure" given that a whole province is likely to surrender to us before the ink is dry on the DOW.

DoW. That's so un-American. The UN is obviously getting into your psyche.

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 16:33

BS. They unsuccessfully invaded us on 3 separate occasions, invaded Mexico without provocation, manufactured their sovereignty over Hawai'i, invaded half the countries in Latin America (before the Cold War), and funded coups in the rest (during the Cold War).

What an oaf of a country.

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 16:34

Sure, they're better neighbours than Germany was to France from 1870-1945, but that's not saying very much.

Shi Huangdi · February 6, 2003, 16:35

Canadians like to think that they beat the USA, talking about the war of 1812. However, they were in fact a part of Great Britain during both wars so they can't have any seperate record. The war of 1812 was a draw- Britain gained no territory, the future Canada grew not one inch. In the American revolution, Britain lost the Ohio River Valley. Britain has forever lost that land, and that land might have been Canadian one day if they didn't lose it. But they were defeated by America, giving Britain(of which Canada was a part) a record of 0-1-1 vs the USA.

Ozz · February 6, 2003, 16:37

Quote:

Originally posted by Wezil
I hope you're kidding Frogger. We could have done a hell of a lot worse.

Despite disagreements with the US, they are and have been very good neighbours all things considered.

No, we couldn't have done worse, cause just about anybody else's ass we could kick if we "disagreed" with them.

The problem with Americans is they are too like Canadians.

Oh, If they do invade, just tell them KPH is french for
Miles per hour. They'd kill themselves off in a month.

KrazyHorse · February 6, 2003, 16:39

Hah. Defense of Quebec in 1775: successful
Defense of Upper Canada in 1812: successful
Defense of the border during Fenian raids: successful

psst, Shi: at the end of the war we were on your territory, not vice versa. The British only lose wars against you in areas they fight without our help.

Ohio valley: filled with losers
Canada: filled with winners

Shi Huangdi · February 6, 2003, 16:54

"Defense of Quebec in 1775: successful"

Too bad the defense of the Ohio River Valley didn't go as well. Britain lost land in North America in that war. Sucsessful Defense on one front doesn't not make a war won.

"Defense of Upper Canada in 1812: successful"

Land gained during that war: Zero. The treaty was status quo ante bellum.

"Defense of the border during Fenian raids: successful"

That wasn't a formal war.

"The British only lose wars against you in areas they fight without our help."

During both of the real wars we fought, you were the British. The land you are on now was called British North America. And you accumulated a 0-1-1 record with the British.

"Ohio valley: filled with losers
Canada: filled with winners"

The United States was able to take the Ohio valley and gain great resources from that land, and then used that land as a jumping point to acquire even more Western land. We acquired enough land and enough resources to make us the foremost power in the world, where poor Canada fell behind is now a minor power in international affairs.

Wezil · February 6, 2003, 17:08

*sigh*

Sorry Yanks, I tried.

Sadly there are Canadians here (usually NDP'ers or hard left Libs) that take great sport in bashing the US. Sadly they fail to realize they would be waving their flags in the dark and cold if the US turned their collective backs on us. Unfortunately these types fail to recognize their own self interest.

What is even worse is the trotting out of 200 year old battles as 'proof' of some sort of superiority. How would we fare today?? Geez, let's not even think about it.

I will remain a Canadian proud of our accomplishments (we have made a rather nasty land inhabitable) and shameful of our failures (our governments), but I don't feel the need to bash the US to feel superior.

The US is a great country but we can agree to disagree. This doesn't make us foes, simply neighbours.

Drake Tungsten · February 6, 2003, 17:14

I like Wezil. The rest of you Canadians can leave...

Wezil · February 6, 2003, 17:19

Yeah, just don't get me started on trade disputes Drake.

Arrian · February 6, 2003, 17:26

So words like "lumber" should be avoided? (not that I know a damn thing about that particular little dispute, except that it seems to be the general concensus that we're wrong).

Invading Canada seems silly. After all, then we would have the thankless task of administering Quebec. I wouldn't wish that on an enemy.

-Arrian

Ozz · February 6, 2003, 17:33

Quote:

Originally posted by Wezil
What is even worse is the trotting out of 200 year old battles as 'proof' of some sort of superiority.

How can you have a bash thread without ancient history
noserubs?

I think we should annex Alaska while the US is busy with Iraq and PRNK.

DuncanK · February 6, 2003, 17:37

DinoDoc must have only been interested in seeing the ridiculous response to his ridiculous thread since he isn't participating in this ridiculous discussion.

DinoDoc · February 6, 2003, 17:47

Yet another reason to invade Canada:

5) Thier current PM is prone to more spectacular "Bushisms" that Bush himself.
Witness:
"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." - Prime Minister Jean Chrétien

This obviously proves that they are trying to upstage us on the international scene and must be stopped.

Drake Tungsten · February 6, 2003, 18:01

Quote:

Yeah, just don't get me started on trade disputes Drake.

I'd probably agree with you on those. I'm not a big fan of protectionism.

Sava · February 6, 2003, 18:09

Typical of DD, trying to mock the people that point out his party's moral misgivings.

Ben Kenobi · February 6, 2003, 18:24

"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." - Prime Minister Jean Chrétien

The sad thing is that he's no different in French....

Take our leader, please!

Why invade Canada? Just stay out [of] our way, and you'll get all the oil and lumber you want.

Edit missed word.