- You try to bargain with the bank by telling them if they'll give you $500 you'll pay
them back $6/year for the next 100 years.
- You inform your wife that you now know the names of your first 7 children.
- You don't read the directions when putting together your new computer desk....you
"Consult Datalinks" instead.
- You refer to sex as "Orbital Insertion"
- You buy a frame for your Technology Tree poster
cousLee
posted 03-28-99 10:23 AM ET
When your making a post, and you bring up the game screen to verify some info, and
forget your connected to the internet, you might be addicted.
cousLee
posted 03-28-99 07:41 PM ET
you buy a bunch of small pools to put in your backyard so you can have you own
borehole cluster.
MikeH II
posted 03-29-99 05:15 AM ET
When you meet someone from the States, who you 'met' on the SMAC forums, for a
drink in London and end up talking about all the other forum posters as if they are
mutual friends and recounting stories about stuff that happened on the forums. You
really have to try hard not to call them their posting name.
True story.
MoSe
posted 03-29-99 05:42 AM ET
What do you mean?
I BOUGHT a frame for my TechTree poster!!!
I'm designing and printing a personal one (A2 paper, maybe fits in A3) for everyday
use, w/out all those spaghetti arrows.
Whoops, I forgot this open for awhile...!!!
JRennison
posted 03-29-99 11:39 AM ET
Great forum Axeman!
1) The letters 'r', 'l', and 'h' have had the transfers warn away on your keyboard.
2) You never finish the Gaians off because the idea of Deirdre in a Punishment Sphere
is too traumatic.
3) You've got a pair of sun glasses like Academician Prokharov...
And you wear them while playing as UofP.
4) You've started talking in an accent similar to the leader of your chosen faction.
5) Your dog, Scout Rover, has learnt to switch off the power to your computer when
it wants to be fed.
6) You've compiled copy of 'We must dissent' from the voice overs...
And can recite it verbatim.
7) You play a few 'warm-up games' at talent level before trying to break your record
1000% at Ironman Transcend level.
8) You have a save file of the map of planet where you terraformed your name into a
mountain range and then melted the ice caps until it was only thing still above sea
level...
And you used your forum name so everyone would know who you are.
9) Your login password at work is De1rdre...(Okay, how many of you have just
changed your password?)
10) You stay behind fifteen minutes after everyone else has left the office compiling
this list..!
cousLee
posted 03-29-99 11:51 AM ET
your dog Scout Rover!!??!! ROFLMAO.
cousLee
posted 03-29-99 11:56 AM ET
Your game CD has become so thin from use that it only has one side.
JT2
posted 03-29-99 12:17 PM ET
-While mowing the lawn you find your dog's chew toy and hook it to your computer to
try to get a free tech
-You're afraid to carry grafiti because you think the lasers from the Self-Aware Colony
will disintgrate you
-You refer to your umbrella as The Weather Paradgim
-You're afraid to go to church because of the Believers' 25% attack bonus
-You romp naked among the trees hoping to meet Dierdre
Vorrin Nal
posted 03-29-99 03:15 PM ET
When you leave for the day, you try to upgrade your dogs to police units.
You wonder, sitting behind a SUV in traffic, if any combination of special abilities in
SMAC will create a Land Rover.
You read about the Cold War and think "If the USSR had downloaded 3.0, they'd have
had no effeciency penalties..."
You call the local National Guard station the Bioenhancement Center.
You start to research the history of the United States Marine Corps after taking all of
Yangs' coastal and sea bases in a single turn.
Axeman
posted 03-29-99 08:36 PM ET
Hey its me again.
Just stopped by to thank everyone for posting on my msg board; thanks for all your
support, and keep 'em coming!
Oh yeah btw never set your new topic to "e-mail when someone responds", i learned
that when i open my mailbox and found 27 new messages all from
webmaster@firaxis.com
Talon
posted 03-30-99 07:42 PM ET
10.You remember the old forums
9.You remember the new test forums
8.You join a organization protecting the democracy of the forums and hailing Sid Meier
as their God.
7.You obtain a military position in the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
6.You have subordinates in your military position in the organization protecting the
democracy of the forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
5.Imran Siddiqui is the President of the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
4.You ratified a constitution for the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
3.You avoid all other forums exept for the Non-Topic forum
2.You know YYYH personally
1.You reload over and over to see if anyone has replied to your post
-Talon
cousLee
posted 03-30-99 11:02 PM ET
1> YOU start stuttering.
2> You have a seperate folder on your HD called Bugsaves.
3> You blame problems on someone's system, when it is obviously a game problem.
4> You finally admit that you are never wrong.
5> When you turn your body, you use a stop and go motion doing it.
6> You use a solid blue wallpaper on your desktop, because that is what your use to.
7> Your favorite quote is: 'Damnit, not again!?!"
8> You buy Activision stock.
9> Your doctor gives you medicine to treat masochism.
10> You think the boogyYin is hiding in your closet.
CarniveaN
posted 03-31-99 02:32 AM ET
someone is obviously unsatisfied
Carnivean
--BTW I have the same problems, I run SMAC on my 486-66
MikeH II
posted 03-31-99 05:23 AM ET
Talon: You know YYYH personally? I'm so sorry.
1. You wonder if Santiago would like to inspect YOUR Artillery
2. You hook up a nutriant drip by the side of your PC to try and prevent fainting due
to lack of food.
3. You wonder why students don't have white flags on their back.
MikeH II
posted 03-31-99 05:24 AM ET
4. You can't spell anymore. Whoops.
Finngall
posted 03-31-99 03:35 PM ET
you're having a running dialogue with the computer.
CPU: "Perhaps a careful review of your op--"
Me: [hitting return, annoyed] Thank you, Mr. Data.
Koshko
posted 03-31-99 11:25 PM ET
You can quote word for word everything that is said for each advancement
To Voices in your head are starting to talk like Morgan
You refer to the Washington Monument as the Monolith
Giant Squid
posted 04-01-99 12:59 AM ET
1) You refer to your religious leader (priest, minister, rabbi, etc.) as Sister.
2) You do number one, despite the fact that your religious leader is male.
3) If he complains, you yell "Shrivel and die, you Religious Lunatic!"
<=O=E
DJ
posted 04-01-99 09:40 AM ET
I was walking outside the other night when I saw a bright star. My immediate reaction
was to think, "I've been there ..."
Jay
posted 04-01-99 05:15 PM ET
Talon do we have a constitution? I thought it was Green Army not BoS...
Anyhow, you know you'll have to go to school early tomorrow, and you just keep
hitting reload in the SMAC forums.
Imran Siddiqui
posted 04-01-99 08:50 PM ET
Yes, Jay! I'm suprised at you! I wrote the Constitution myself (of course I've forgotten
all about it ).
Imran Siddiqui
cousLee
posted 04-02-99 02:51 AM ET
You rupture your bladder playing SMAC, AND make a post to the forums while waiting
for the ambulance to arrive.
MoSe
posted 04-02-99 03:17 AM ET
You edit your Software Engineering textbook, substituting SW lifecycle with MW
lifecycle.
ViVicdi
posted 04-02-99 04:01 AM ET
You start quoting quotes quoted in SMAC in everyday conversations:
"Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators
the creator seeks ..." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
You put Friedrich Nietzsche on your reading list and Baraka on your must-see list.
You keep the game running in the background to have the Datalinks available for
reference to insure accurate forum posts.
You start referring to weeds as Xenofungus, and weeding as "clearing fungus".
You replace your Gregorian calendar's "A.D." with SMAC's "M.Y.", as in "the Y2k bug
might shut down a few Network Nodes during M.Y. 2000".
You think by building an Echelon Mirror in Ireland, moving to Scotland, and building a
Solar Collector you can strike it rich before M.Y. 2250.
You see an offshore oil rig and think, "6 energy credits!"
You see a News Helicopter and think, "1-1-12 Police / Clean Probe Copter".
You see a Police Car and think, "1-1-2 Police / Clean Scout Rover".
You see a surveillance camera and think, "We Must Dissent! *** ZAP ***"
You build Special Projects just to watch those cool movies. Then you run "PlayUV" to
watch them all again. Finally you hyperlink the "movies" directory so you can watch
them some more later!
You see a politician from another country and wonder what his country's SE settings
are.
You see a politician from your country and wonder what SE settings he would like
there to be ...
Mortis
posted 04-02-99 08:14 AM ET
You walk into your local bookstore and ask for a copy of "The Ethics of Greed".
When you say a quote from SMAC you credit it to the faction leader who said it.
You where mentioned in the story.
You stay up to 4am, posting on the SMAC forums (true story).
sandworm
posted 04-02-99 03:54 PM ET
You start reading the suggested science fiction from the back of the manual. Manual?
There's a manual? We don't need no stinking manual.
"I would like to have is Raquel Welsch (sp?) dropped on my head. She's got a big
bottom."
sandworm
tfs99
posted 04-02-99 09:50 PM ET
- If someone has to stop playing your multiplayer game, you say out loud, "Please
don't go ... the drones need you ... they look up to you"
- When your roommate is hogging the bathroom or phone you contemplate turning off
simultaneous moves and setting time limits to 15 seconds
- When a car cuts you off in traffic you think to yourself: "Stupid AI"
- You start referring to anyone who disagrees with you as "Yin"
- You start humming that catchy "Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ... dum dum dum
dum dum ... wah wah waaaaah" music from the multiplayer hosting screen.
- You get a bunch of mossy rocks, paint them red and put them in your front yard,
hoping it will at least give you a random chance of keeping the neighbors dog from
doing its business there
- You look forward to bribing your neighbors to vote for you in the next Council
election
- You tell your boss that the new Recreation Commons are nice, but unless they
budget minerals for The Virtual World, people are going to quit and go work for Morgan
Industries
- You call up Swingline and ask if they sell Nerve Staplers
- You start looking for your favorite faction leader's books on Amazon.com
- You send birthday cards and gifts to faction leaders that were born before the year
2000 just so you can improve your chances of favorable diplomatic relations once you
get to A.C.
- You start thinking that if you go to Kosovo and become a mercenary, you might get
named to be on the security force of the Unity project
- You find yourself suffering from the JOMP syndrome (Just One More Post)
- You find yourself compulsively clicking on the little forum sunglasses so you can
snicker at "how few posts that loser has"
- When life gets rough you start contemplating starting over again on Citizen difficulty
- You find yourself suffering from the JOMTTL syndrome (Just One More Top Ten Line)
- You sign your posts with some cute little saying about the game
SMAC n ... Ted S.
Kusader
posted 04-03-99 12:49 AM ET
How about, you threaten your friends by saying, "I will terminate you as a matter of
good business practice!"
This has become a regular saying of mine now... =)
Mortis
posted 04-03-99 04:40 AM ET
You use prahses like "Sorry, no cheque no tech!" in everyday conversation.
Terbo
posted 04-04-99 12:18 AM ET
hehehe...
When your kids are bad, you hit them with a stapler svreaming "If you kids act up
agian, I'll nerve-staple you in 10 more turns!"
(You then go to jail for child abuse)
Mortis
posted 04-04-99 08:10 AM ET
Nahh, you just get UN sanctions imposed on you.
BlueBlazer
posted 04-04-99 11:14 PM ET
You have gotten a suntan from all the computer radiation
You have the tech chart memorized
You are trying to drill to the aquifer in your backyard so you can get more water
YOu call your TV a Hologram Theatre
You start playing Friday Night and finish just in time for school monday
Koshko
posted 04-04-99 11:52 PM ET
The binding that holds the pages of the manual are wearing out.
New TV Show "Where in the Planet is Col. Santiago"
You notice that the Believer symbol looks like Kenny from South Park.
Koshko
posted 04-05-99 12:02 AM ET
Couple more
The members of Firaxis has to issue a restraining order on you.
When steping outside, you get scared by the bright warm yellow ball in the sky.
Zeratul
posted 04-05-99 01:53 PM ET
-You tell the new neighbors that it is customary of smaller, weaker factions to pay a
small protection "fee".
-You miss your wedding because of JOMT (just one more turn) sydrome.
-You keep starting new games with the UoP just to hear Zhakarov say his name. (i do)
4Horses
posted 04-05-99 03:55 PM ET
- you start submitting words with the word "SMAC" in daily conversations
- you actually think "SMAC" is a word
- after reading the previous 76 posts, you still have something to contribute
4Horses
posted 04-05-99 03:58 PM ET
- you spend a lot of time replying to a thread, submit your reply, and get the "you
entered the wrong password" screen. You curse to yourself, throw the nearest object
at the wall, and proceed to enter the information all over again.......thinking "next time
i'll EDIT, COPY before I submit, just in case."
Koshko
posted 04-05-99 08:57 PM ET
You continue to supply posts even though the premise has worn thin.
You see a Ford Probe drive by, and you assume they're going to break into your home
and steal stuff.
You stop taking baths in order to recreate Xenofungus growth.
Kinda large, isn't it?
LoD
onepaul posted 06-21-99 10:44 AM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
case closed...
Stefu posted 06-21-99 11:45 AM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are hysterically afraid of fishing. I mean, first you take can of mindwrms and THEN you go to potentially meet Isle of the Deep?
You only eat apples, and even when doing so call them 'nutrients.'
You whistle Network Node song in public.
You wonder why YOUR television doesn't show Morgan doing aerobic.
You now pronounce 'complete' as 'conclete'
You have used WinAmp to make some quotes of your own.
Your insults always have Big First Letters.
icosahedron posted 07-07-99 04:01 PM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
- ico
lucifer posted 07-07-99 07:04 PM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you impose 10 years of sanctions against your kids for using "nerve gas pods" (farting)
you swear to never build the hunter seeker algorithm (after all you wouldn't want your "probe" team to be a thing of the past)
you try to nerve staple your teenage kid for rebelling/"rioting"
you have dreams of xenofungal blooms only to wake up and find the only thing that has bloomed on "planet" is your hemoroid problem
Resource Consumer posted 07-07-99 07:16 PM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what. Truth for you.......
I went into our local stationers and asked for Nerve Staples. They suggested that I tried at the Post Office.....
So, between tears of laughter, I even paid my phone bill.
No NSs though........
Resource Consumer
- gotta give this up, it's doing my productivity -
Stasis Archon posted 07-07-99 08:28 PM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You refer to your cable modem as the Bulk Matter Transmitter.
**** posted 07-07-99 09:43 PM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your speech at a company board meeting includes the words: "Results show that we have a Paradigm Economy but our Labs output is -10%."
As a teacher, your opening day speech to your physics class consists of: "Zee substructure of zee universe reegresses eenfinitely tovards smoller and smoller components. Behind atoms ve find electrons,
and behind electrons cvuarks. Each layer unraveled reeveals new seecrets, but also new meesteries." (the misspellsing is intentional, duh)
When you arguing about the US's stance in the wars between various other countries, you mention something about singularity needlejets, drop probe teams, and planet busters, citing "that'll teach that religious *****".
Instead of celebrating your 18th birthday you announce: "I have achieved Mature Boil Status!!"
While arguing with friends or coleagues you find yourself saying: "Oh yeah? Well Morgan says that (insert something here)"
You call up Bill Clinton and say: "President Clinton, your so called 'Democracy' is godless and wretched. True freedom and happiness are only to be found in God's love, and I urge you to repent your sins and open your heart to the Lord."
Then, no matter what his response is you say: "Very well then, Vendetta Upon You, President Clinton!"
Ok, thats it for now, I'm busy, be back with more later.
****
Stasis Archon posted 07-08-99 11:25 AM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone tries to sell you something for $100 and you say "Perhaps 50 credits would take care of our little problem."
Stasis Archon posted 07-08-99 11:27 AM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Every time you quote someone you end with
--(name), Datalinks.
Resource Consumer posted 07-08-99 11:52 AM ET
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When your kids ask you for additional pocket money, tou reply either :
"I am not your personal moneylender"
Or
"50 it is, then, but if you rob me you will feel my wrath"
Stasis Archon posted 07-09-99 05:04 PM ET