How can you get someone to be responsible?

Al B. Sure! · March 21, 2003, 19:44

people tick me off sometimes...

This girl I know is pregnant and she had dropped out back in 9th grade and has no intention of getting a GED (i even offered to help her study and all that ****). I told her that she's not going to be able to get paid more than minimum wage without at least a GED and she was like, "thats alright. my mom gets paid minimum wage and she's doing good." (you aint doing good if you living in philly!) plus i know this girl and she kind of needy. she not going to be satisfied on minimum wage...

so what can i do to convince the girl to get those GED study books from the library?

thanks

Al B. Sure! · March 21, 2003, 19:45

she should be in 11th grade now by the way but she don't want to go back to school.

Az · March 21, 2003, 19:46

educate'n' endoctrinate, I guess.

This gal has no good standards, noone to look up to. no one sets good example.

Bereta_Eder · March 21, 2003, 19:55

be there in a sec

Spec · March 21, 2003, 20:09

Quote:

Originally posted by Albert Speer
so what can i do to convince the girl to get those GED study books from the library?

thanks

Al B. Sure! · March 21, 2003, 20:14

Spectator:

she's pregnant already...

Ming · March 21, 2003, 20:17

If all you folks are going to do is make wise ass comments or spam this thread... don't bother even posting... or you will get restricted.

Bereta_Eder · March 21, 2003, 20:22

well seriously, if she's young and don't have the financial means and don't want this baby she can have an abortion.

no use in putting her life in the freezer for an unfortunate moment, although they should have been more careful but "accidents" happen to everyone.

that is if she doesn't want the baby.

if she does and then she doesn't want to study...

People are sometimes confused or they do know exactly what they want.

In any case, I think it's important she doesn't give up her studies.

The reasons should have been obvious.

Maybe she just needs someone to remind her and definitely needs help with the baby both supportive and financial if she decides to have it.

Good luck either way.

Bereta_Eder · March 21, 2003, 20:26

What does the daddy say?

DRoseDARs · March 21, 2003, 22:32

Speer, see if there are local support groups for impoverished women/children and see if they have individuals who've lived the way your friend seems to think "is good" but have since learned their lesson. Hopefully, sharing the same story as what she will almost certainly face if she continues down this path, they will be able to do what you yourself probably could not in the long-run.

Mostly, just be there for her short of paying her bills. Gather resources and info and contacts for her so she can make it on her own if given the right chance.

Christ, choosing minimum wage over a GED?

Al B. Sure! · March 22, 2003, 00:05

paiktis:

she wants to keep the baby and considers it a blessing even if it was an accident.

and she has already given up on studies. She dropped out of high school back in 9th grade so she has no interest in doing anything but working a minimum wage job

and I don't know the father...

DRose:

Her mother already lives how she wants to live. Her mom works as a cashier at a dollar store getting paid minimum wage. my friend knows all about the problems of living like this but she don't give a damn it seems.

thanks

Bugs ****ing Bunny · March 22, 2003, 03:07

Having a kid is a great cure for being "needy". She will grow up a lot as a result. Then she can always reconsider.

If she's still happy on minimum wage, that's up to her. You are not your bank account.

DanS · March 22, 2003, 03:15

well seriously, if she's young and don't have the financial means and don't want this baby she can have an abortion.

KrazyHorse · March 22, 2003, 03:22

What's wrong with that?

Shi Huangdi · March 22, 2003, 03:23

"How can you get someone to be responsible? "

Simple Answer: You can't. Being responsible is up to the individual.

Worry about how responsible you are.

Jon Shafer · March 22, 2003, 03:24

The best solution to this situation may be a bit of time to mature. People's minds change quickly after that age.

notyoueither · March 22, 2003, 03:27

Encourage. Discuss. Show options. Be there without being over bearing.

Not much more you can do, Albert.

DanS · March 22, 2003, 03:28

What's wrong with that?

Because she can always give the kid up for adoption.

Datajack Franit · March 22, 2003, 19:17

Yet the last thing she need is to abort and starting feeling guilty because of that

*End Is Forever* · March 22, 2003, 20:12

Sure, she can give the kid up for adoption and feel guilty about that instead!

Datajack Franit · March 22, 2003, 20:31

I guess "oh my, where is he now?" is much better than "oh my, he's dead and I killed him"

*End Is Forever* · March 22, 2003, 20:37

Sorry, wasn't entirely serious there. It's difficult to be serious about a thread started by Speer.

Zero · March 22, 2003, 20:59

Quote:

Originally posted by DanS
What's wrong with that?

Because she can always give the kid up for adoption.

Well one COULD argue, that giving birth to a human and putting them up w/o a family (if there are no foster parents available) is just as tragic, cause it ruins that person's life.

I can see how someone would argue this way, especially if they dont consider abortion a murder.

Gibsie · March 22, 2003, 21:03

I think Speer should adopt a baby. An aborted one at first, just to give him an idea of what it's like, you know, before the real thing.

Datajack Franit · March 22, 2003, 22:07

I wouldn't give Speer a cat, figure out a kid

Ben Kenobi · March 22, 2003, 23:44

Quote:

If she's still happy on minimum wage, that's up to her. You are not your bank account.

Well said Laz.

You mean well, Albert, but in this situation I think experience is the best teacher. You can keep trying to pound into her head the necessity of a GED, but she will not listen to you unless she is convinced that a life on minimum wage is not the life that she wants to have.

Be there for her, don't kick up a fuss if she changes her mind, or asks you for help. If she trusts you, she will listen to what you have to say.

DanS:
Agreed.

kring · March 23, 2003, 01:42

Like has been said, you can't make her be responsible. At some point in time, she will be required to be responsible, whether she wants to be or not. I have the same kind of talks with a number of parents of adult children where the parents run the children's lives.

If you know someone(s) else in that situation, ask that person(s) to talk to her. It may make a difference. If you don't someone, ask your acquaintances, they may know someone. Sometimes, having someone that is currently in the situation talk to them is the only way to get through to a person.

I had a relative that thought the same way about not graduating, and after several years out of school, he realized that he needed a GED to get a decent job. He wouldn't listen to any of us when we tried to tell him the same thing.

Also, there are times a person hears what you tell them, but it takes a while (sometimes a long while) before they realize what you said made sense.

Al B. Sure! · March 23, 2003, 02:39

kring:

I know a whole lot of people in the same situation and she knows dozens too probably. remember i live in the city so i mean half the girls my age got kids... but despite knowing the problems of being single mothers, girls keep getting pregnant left and right.

and thank you to everyone (except End is Forever) for their comments

thanks

VJ · March 23, 2003, 04:41

Quote:

Having a kid is a great cure for being "needy". She will grow up a lot as a result. Then she can always reconsider.

---

What an ignorant moron. I feel very sorry about the baby, it's a shame that it will suffer from her.

Why do you feel sympathy for this girl? Her suffering will be earned, because she's a fool.

Bugs ****ing Bunny · March 23, 2003, 05:21

Why is she a fool? Millions of girls her age get pregnant every year, and a lot turn out to be great mothers.

It's a strange form of puritanism that breeds this- "She's a teenaged mother! She's bad!"