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Old March 28, 2003, 18:16   #1
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Theological Question: Is the Great Banana Still Alive?
I humbly request Old Apolytonia's greatest Theologicians to come forward and answer this question.
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Old March 28, 2003, 19:46   #2
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Well, WE are. So the Great Banana, being an incredibly powerful immortal, must be too.

All hail the Great Banana!
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Old March 28, 2003, 20:04   #3
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Is the great banana still alive? Do you mean in a spiritual, theological, or metaphysical sense?

If spiritual - well the great banana lives in the heart of every Apolytonian, so I would have to say it is a faith-based yes.

If theological - well, that is a bit tougher. The temples and cathedrals of old Apolytonia are fading into history - as are the doctrine and the clerics. A new theology, banana-centric of course, will have to rise in its place, so it is qualified yes.

And metaphysical - well, now we are really out there. How does the great banana manifest itself to you daily (no one look down - eyes forward), or how is your life representative of the banana-way? Is the banana just a banana, or actually an expression of man's desire to return to the jungle and live in a more primitive and natural state with the other animals of the world. Well, in that case - this new game gives us the chance to do just that - so the answer here is a resounding yes.

Well, IMHO anyway.
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Old March 28, 2003, 20:58   #4
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"People who do not believe in Banana, one does not govern them, one shoots them."

These words could have been the words of the Prophet Aggie, but inb fact they were of a French general who fought many wars through wich France became mighy before it was finally defeated by Apolytonia and it's grand alliance. He was exiled to Uber Isle first, he escaped and was then sent to the little island that the English owned, where he finally died.

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Old March 29, 2003, 09:15   #5
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Just asking that question will surely draw his wrath!!!
Stone the infidel
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Old March 30, 2003, 22:30   #6
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Feel you not the power of the Great Banana in your thoughts, in your heartbeat, in your very breath?!?!?!

Blasphemy is what mine ears have heard! To think that our deity hath abandoned us! Yet the Great Banana is not alive nor dead. In his infinite omnipotence, he is in a state that we could never comprehend, that our meager human minds simply cannot fathom such greatness.

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Old March 30, 2003, 22:58   #7
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Blasphemy!
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Old March 31, 2003, 00:54   #8
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My People, please! This is a Democracy, and as such the freedom of speech right is guaranteed to all. Questioning is good, and that is exactly what has been occurring here.

In these in-between times of discussion before decision, it is easy to see why some would doubt that the Big Banana lives and watches over us still. However, one cannot but conclude that the Banana is omnipresent still, and amongst us.

As prophet to the gOdZ, I have on many an occasion been granted the magnificent sight of the Banana hirself. Allow me to regale you with what it is like to behold the visage of the Almighty.

Many times it was when I was in the Presidential Palace, in the Dodecahedron, the office where some of the most important matters for the nation were pondered by a long line of great Presidents. The Banana appears when there are specially difficult trials and tribulations facing the President, to aid the people's champion in making his decision.

I remember my darkest day, when we had just declared Peace with the French after taking their citadel capitol. All was well but the Foreign Affairs Ministry, whose right it was to set foreign policy, reminded me of that right, that I had just so flagrantly violated. A Court injunction was sought, and I feared that the infighting would rip the Government apart - I would not be able to see this, as I would surely be deposed and maybe exiled.

It was late at night, as my lamp alone burned in the window of the Banana Tree building. I put my head in my hands and despaired at what was to come from the next few days. Just then a flash of Holy Yellow came upon me, and I knew that, as Prophet, I was receiving a visitation. Our protector reminded me with but a whiff of hirs heavenly aroma that all would be well, that the Government around me were noble and would help, and that the people would continue on. Such was my feeling of relief, it was as if, on returning from a 10 year long war against an enemy nation, one had been dreading the hints one had received on one's journey home, that one's wife had remarried, and the new husband had both usurped one's property and eaten one's children, and one had just found this not to be the case.

Such is the feeling summoned by the visitation of the Big Banana, only a thousand times more so. Heed my words, citizens. The Banana is out there and he continues to watch over and guide us - why he even provides us with his delicious offspring that we may pig out on them.

O Biggest of all the Big Bananas! May you watch over and protect us forever, or at least for a pretty long time.
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Old March 31, 2003, 09:03   #9
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I have also seen a vision of the Great Banana, just the other day was I browing through the supermarket when the Great Banana appeared to me hovering over the fruit and veg section with the cryptic message "Buy one bunch get another free!" emblazened along his most yellow body.

I obviously lack the theological wit to decypher this blessed message but perhaps MrWhereItsAt as a prophet of the Great Banana can enlighten me.
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Old March 31, 2003, 10:23   #10
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/me 's eyes glaze over

In hirs ALMIGHTY compassion for those who HIR defends and protects, the Big Banana has GIVEN this sign that you MAY eat unto his children more than ever before and thus NOURISH yourself.

We thank the Big Yellow One for sending us his blessing for us TO skin his offspring and then devour them whole.
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Old March 31, 2003, 11:38   #11
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Wow he must have been really pleased to win a poll if he is sacrificing more of his children to rid us of our earthly hunger.
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Old March 31, 2003, 12:30   #12
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Of course he lives. However, I suspect he will stay at his homeland while we move on to new and uncharted lands.
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Old March 31, 2003, 13:04   #13
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I hate to bring this up but as we worship the Banana, we always seem to start in Banana-friendly territory (jungle) perhaps we should think about worshiping the Jersy or Longhorn before we start playing the next game........
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Old March 31, 2003, 14:30   #14
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Yet it is only thanks to the divine inspiration and wisdom of the Great Banana that we have been able to expand throughout such hostile territory. Tis the blessing of His kindness that we are the chosen ones to rule the world in His name.
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Old April 1, 2003, 19:21   #15
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Ahh, yes, the Great Banana is almighty and allpowerful...perhaps he has grown tired of leading us through our Jungle and will invite us to new discovery, new exploration, new strategy, new challenges. Thank you also, for reaffirming my belief in the Great Banana.
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Old April 1, 2003, 19:44   #16
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Here's another question - if the next game locates us amidst a wealth of wines (grapes) with no jungle in sight - do we revere the Holy Grapes instead of the Great Banana?

* dejon ducks and runs for cover
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Old April 1, 2003, 22:17   #17
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Re: Theological Question: Is the Great Banana Still Alive?
Quote:
Originally posted by mrmitchell
I humbly request Old Apolytonia's greatest Theologicians to come forward and answer this question.
Heathen! Dont question the GREAT BANANA !

edit- errr...its existence, rather
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Old April 2, 2003, 12:03   #18
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Quote:
* dejon ducks and runs for cover
*Jim_Steer smiles as he watches dejon engulfed by a biblical style flood of banana milkshake and mutters 'Holy Grapes indeed who has ever heard of such a silly idea'
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