Is it always your fault? Are you always wrong? - Page 2

Spec · April 9, 2003, 11:45

90% of the posters on this thread dont get it. It's not the bread, it's the context.

Why does she call me at work, when I'm loaded, to ask me to pick up something that SHE forgot to pick up yesterday when she is off work and can go get it byherself. Second, when she called me at work, I said I'll call you right back and she said:" No! Just buy soem bread!" I said ok then bye. Short phone call, it only took 10 secs.

The point is: Dont ask me to go get something that YOU forgot when I'm at work and you are watching TV at home. I would never ask in that situation, I'd go myself.

How can I be wrong?

Spec.

Urban Ranger · April 9, 2003, 12:52

Quote:

Originally posted by Spectator
90% of the posters on this thread dont get it. It's not the bread, it's the context.

Why does she call me at work, when I'm loaded, to ask me to pick up something that SHE forgot to pick up yesterday when she is off work and can go get it byherself. Second, when she called me at work, I said I'll call you right back and she said:" No! Just buy soem bread!" I said ok then bye. Short phone call, it only took 10 secs.

The point is: Dont ask me to go get something that YOU forgot when I'm at work and you are watching TV at home. I would never ask in that situation, I'd go myself.

How can I be wrong?

Spec.

You are completely wrong in the context. First of all, you were trying to brush her off. I don't believe you didn't have a minute or two right then and there. Secondly, you made a promise. You could always say no, or called back later and asked her to do it. Thirdly, you forgot what she said, which meant you weren't paying attention to her. Lastly, you did not make good on your promise, and didn't even try to fix it.

From what you said, she didn't forget to buy the bread per se, but because there was still half a loaf left. Maybe this is not exactly right, but you didn't talk this out with her, so you can blame it on her.

I know it's not the bread (this is the third time I said this in three posts). It's about you didn't make good a promise. Maybe it is also about you didn't pay attention to her.

Spec · April 9, 2003, 13:13

This may sound weird, but eventhough almost everyone thinks I'm wrong I still disagree. I would've bought the bread in the first place or I would've went to buy it myself if I had not bought it the day before.

That's how I am. I dont ask for much and do what I have to do, even more if I'm the one that didn't do what I had to do in the first place.

JohnT · April 9, 2003, 13:28

Spectator, you are so wrong in this issue it isn't even funny.

But what do I know? I just have an adoring wife with a relationship that is entering it's 17th year.

TheBirdMan · April 9, 2003, 13:32

Ohhhh man.....

I have been married for..... well a little more than 21 years (with the same).

I know for sure what to do (unless you are a real MACHO-boy or goes for a millimeter-justice (

Not possible if you want to live in peace with anyone for a longer time

)).

But to write it in english - that would be hard and take a long time.

I warn you

- I might write about that later (an early morning job when you are clear and cold in your mind).

Spec · April 9, 2003, 13:37

Quote:

Originally posted by JohnT
Spectator, you are so wrong in this issue it isn't even funny.

But what do I know? I just have an adoring wife with a relationship that is entering it's 17th year.

Dont get me wrong, It's been 2 years now and it's going GREAT. We didn't argue, yell or anything...it's just that I always seem to be the one that is wrong! Why is it so?!

TheBirdMan · April 9, 2003, 13:48

One thing - read and understand the text besides your own avatar.........

If you really believe in that, then you can't be wrong (in your own imagination).

Spec · April 9, 2003, 13:51

Quote:

Originally posted by TheBirdMan
One thing - read and understand the text besides your own avatar.........

If you really believe in that, then you can't be wrong (in your own imagination).

I understand what it says....what's your point?

If you think I do that on the street you are wrong, I'm have a membership on a racetrack. Dont be foolish, I dont wanna kill myself or others.

TheBirdMan · April 9, 2003, 14:30

No, I (think) I know that.

I do understand "life" as the way you living, not the way you are driving.

But if you "live" your life as driving in the second or even third lane of a highway - and your statement of "´Life is great at 250km/h" does indicate this, then.....

You are beyound the limit/border, where common sense gives any reason (again, remember english is not my native language, therefore my choice of terms very well might says something different than what I had in mind).

TheBirdMan · April 9, 2003, 14:49

Quote:

Originally posted by rah
RAH
Darn, rereading this one, it really sounds sexist.

Be careful - Ming might be watching........

Q Classic · April 9, 2003, 15:58

i wonder if a moderator can ban another moderator.

in any case, you're wrong. why? because women have this notion of fiat, whatever they say goes.

take that for what you will, but i'd rather argue over something a mite more important than a loaf of bread.

rah · April 9, 2003, 16:16

Quote:

Originally posted by Q Cubed
i wonder if a moderator can ban another moderator.

Not only possible, but it has been done before.

RAH

Japher · April 9, 2003, 16:22

Men are always wrong when it comes to arguing with a woman. Why? No one knows. My dad thinks has to do with something about my mom being from Mercury or something...

My Dad's three keys to a successful relationship:
1. I'm sorry
2. Your right
3. It's all my fault

And she'll never say it, so if you want it to work out you'll be the one having to say it... It just that way it is. Note: never say it will never happen again... we know it will. If your smart, it will happen all the time, to a point that she'll stop asking you to do stuff because she knows your just going to f'ck it up.

That's what I do, and I never have to do laundry again. Of course all my undershirts are pink... but it's a small price to pay to actually win.

Nubclear · April 9, 2003, 16:22

Here in my house, if something small and petty like that happens, we both just go and do it......Instead of trying to exert control over the other person, we try to work cooperatively (Especially now that there are children

)

After we've calmed down, sometimes we go and get something to eat while were at it. Kiss, and then make up

Q Classic · April 9, 2003, 16:27

japher...

besides, it's not like anybody else sees your undershirts, mm? maybe she thinks you're pretty in pink.

Japher · April 9, 2003, 16:28

I am

Ben Kenobi · April 9, 2003, 18:04

mattyboy:

Quote:

For me, it's well worth it, so I don't care. Besides this, she works herself harder than I ever could, so I could never possibly resent being driven hard.

I guess that life (especially with kids) is mostly hard work and you need to always be on the same side or you may as well be doing it alone.

Wise words indeed.

MattyBoy · April 9, 2003, 21:02

Thanks, obiwan.
Now it's time to unwisely stir the pot a little...

Quote:

This may sound weird, but eventhough almost everyone thinks I'm wrong I still disagree.

Wasn't it women who would never admit to being wrong? Maybe you're taking the female side in this relationship of yours?

Zero · April 9, 2003, 21:49

Im sorry guys but if you think ur always being wronged in the relationship, you have no women skills. Period. And its usually guys who dont admit they are wrong. Try to get a guy to apologies to you. It always feels you're compromising for a ****ing apology. Just look at this forum. You hardly see any people admitting their wrong. Just pointless post after post of flames to defend their wrong to the death... (myself included

)

Zero · April 9, 2003, 21:58

Quote:

Originally posted by Spectator
90% of the posters on this thread dont get it. It's not the bread, it's the context.

Why does she call me at work, when I'm loaded, to ask me to pick up something that SHE forgot to pick up yesterday when she is off work and can go get it byherself. Second, when she called me at work, I said I'll call you right back and she said:" No! Just buy soem bread!" I said ok then bye. Short phone call, it only took 10 secs.

The point is: Dont ask me to go get something that YOU forgot when I'm at work and you are watching TV at home. I would never ask in that situation, I'd go myself.

How can I be wrong?

Spec.

I think your post PROVES my theory that you're so hung up on the first issue that you dont see why she got angry over you when you forgot to get the bread. Had you expressed your discontentment over her not getting the bread earlier, I dont think you would have had any problem.

Urban Ranger · April 9, 2003, 22:59

It's a bit like what Calc II said. You have to understand how a woman ticks, and you have to understand how to communicate with her.

One thing I don't understand Spec, it looks like you just divide up all the responsibilities down the middle into halves, and you are trying to make sure each person fulfills each half. That just won't work. I suggest you to take a look at Supersneak's or Maniac's avatar some time.

MattyBoy · April 10, 2003, 00:14

Quote:

Im sorry guys but if you think ur always being wronged in the relationship, you have no women skills. Period. And its usually guys who dont admit they are wrong. Try to get a guy to apologies to you.

Calc II.
You obvioulsy know better than I do about my relationship and about my women skills. Do you mind if I email you for advice next time I'm having trouble with any big personal decisions?

MattyBoy · April 10, 2003, 00:19

...you might be able to help my wife out too - she seems a bit dissatisfied at the moment.

Or if you want to spread the benefits of your talents still further you could start a "Dear Calc II" column in the a weekly magazine.

So, what do you think?

Zero · April 10, 2003, 01:03

Quote:

Originally posted by MattyBoy

Calc II.
You obvioulsy know better than I do about my relationship and about my women skills. Do you mind if I email you for advice next time I'm having trouble with any big personal decisions?

Az · April 10, 2003, 04:24

Quote:

Definitely bad for relationships. Im like this type, so I would do this with anyone but not with my gf.

Settle issues one by one as they arise and make sure each understands so they dont build up. When feelings and grudge buildup you fight over stupid things... like bread.

Thing is, that while you settle issues one by one, She usually never forgets, and always reserves the right to hold a grudge over insignificant **** like that. I hate playing power games, but I won't be ashamed by playing them when my desires are at stake, and she doesn't want to compromise.

I am not for being an *******, but I am for playing back, when people ( and this goes to all relationships, romantic or not ) play hardball with me. As I said, all I am asking for is fairness. I won't compromise for less.

devilmunchkin · April 10, 2003, 17:21

i had quite an opposite experience..i was with a guy (which most of you here prolly came to loath...as do i in a sense) where he was always right..about everything...no matter how stupid it sounded. And just to be right or sound more right, he would change history (as far as he and i went) and then tell me that i had a bad memory and his was far superior. He had sucha drive to be right that he drove me into the ground so that i could no longer tell which way was up and which way was down. I now look back and know that it was selfish pride and that for a good portion of the time, he was really wrong about alot of things...
and "god forbid" i ever say "you always think you're right" because then i'd have to hear about how i was wrong about that too.....
i don't miss that time in my life....