Virgin twin cousins...is there hope?

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:01

Now now, calm down all you sex craving maniacs, if you are looking for a quick kinky story, this is not it.

This is something I have been thinking about for a while...And I AM very serious about it, this is no joke. I have twins cousins, guys, they are 27 years old...almost 28 and they are still virgins...If you would see them for the first time you would never guess this. They are not ugly, not fat, not repulsive...They just suck so much ass with women, it's just pathetic. One doesn't know how to talk to them (blabers, looks for his words, to damn shy. Not cute shy...just shy shy) and the other one is to....mmmmm....toooooo.....how should I say...stupid. He always thinks he is in the zone or whatever when he's 20 miles away from even knowing where to go so he goes on and on and you can just see that the girl is bored... This is just saddening because they are really good guys and they both deserve a girlfriend. I think that the problem is that they are so shy with girls that when they talk to them they are not their selfs anymore, they become those "Party friends but not more" kinda guys when they really should'nt.
I think what the problem is, is that they never slept with a girl before....not slept, never seen a naked girl in front of them before. I dont even know if they know what a girl's thigh feels like. You see how bad this is...They have no idea on how to flirt.
I tried matching them up with douzens of girls without succes, they always f**k up somewhere. But I think I finaly have a solution. Their birthday is coming up soon and me and one of my friends want to pay them an escort each. Not street whores, escorts. Now they would have a chance to experience what sex is like and maybe, after that, they would be less shy with the opposite sex. This would be my last resort to help them. I am running out of ideas here so if someone can help me out or give me their opinion on my idea I would appreciate it.

Please, try to be serious.

Spec.

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:03

i think i could take care of that problem with 2 jimmy sacks and a keg.

and how the ****ing hell can we be serious when you are seriously considering getting them escorts.

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:06

Quote:

Originally posted by MRT144
and how the ****ing hell can we be serious when you are seriously considering getting them escorts.

When you run out of options, you really think about anything you can....that's why I am asking.

Ben Kenobi · April 25, 2003, 13:08

Do they have any friends who are girls?

Seems a more basic problem with communication moreso than needing an escort.

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:09

cant you just buy them the next best thing? like a suped up RX7

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:09

You should ask them if it would be alright first... escort = high class whore, so why do you distinguish?

I think MRT is right... get them set up on dates, but get them (both your cousins and the dates) really trashed before you allow them to talk to each other.

Boris Godunov · April 25, 2003, 13:11

They are gay.

Send them here. If they are, as you say, good-looking, then we can be of mutual assistance. They can have their first round of hot nookie, and I can fulfill one of my fantasies of having twins.

Thank you.

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:12

Quote:

Originally posted by obiwan18
Do they have any friends who are girls?

Seems a more basic problem with communication moreso than needing an escort.

Well, all the girl friends that they have are are mostly my friends in the first place. We know the communication problem is there but we never have been able to solve it. I swear, I made them meet ATLEAST 25 girls each in the past 7 years and it never worked out!! Where is the problem you think? Where is it coming from? Now dont no one try to tell me it's because of their mother and all that crap.

Spec.

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:13

Maybe your right Boris?

Yet, if what they say about twins is right, shouldn't you be able to get away with just one whore, I mean escort.

Fords Suk!

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:16

Quote:

Originally posted by MRT144
cant you just buy them the next best thing? like a suped up RX7

First, if it doesn't make my car brake or turn harder, go faster, then it's not on my car. So it's not a suped up RX7, it's an enhanced RX7.

Second, if you buy a car to get girls, you are an a*s, if a girl goes out with you because of your car, she is a bltch. So no, a car would not help them.

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:18

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher

Fords Suk!

Damn right! But if you think an RX7 is a ford...

Seeker · April 25, 2003, 13:19

Just get them on a plane to Korea.

Apparently, all white guys look like movie stars or something....

Hell, there's guys here who couldn't get within 3 feet of white girl going with 2 or 3 at a time.

Asia is Nice.

Asian Women are Nicer.

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:19

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher
Maybe your right Boris?

Yet, if what they say about twins is right, shouldn't you be able to get away with just one whore, I mean escort.

Fords Suk!

hey! i drive a ford escort! it has a "dont be a ****" bumper sticker on it too. thats it, im coming to san jose with a can of whoopass for you...

right after i take my nap and have my juice

Kropotkin · April 25, 2003, 13:19

No, there's no hope.

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:19

No, I think an Escort is a Ford

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher
No, I think an Escort is a Ford

Abyway, what would you guys do? Seriously?

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:23

Quote:

hey! i drive a ford escort! it has a "dont be a ****" bumper sticker on it too. thats it, im coming to san jose with a can of whoopass for you...

Do you think your Ford could make it?

Actually, I'm in Palo Alto right now... You might be able to make it that far down, if not I'll meet you half way.

Ben Kenobi · April 25, 2003, 13:24

Spec:

Quote:

Where is the problem you think? Where is it coming from?

Quote:

We know the communication problem is there but we never have been able to solve it. I swear, I made them meet ATLEAST 25 girls each in the past 7 years and it never worked out!!

1. Do they have any desire to meet girls? This is not really something you can push.

2. Do they always go together? There is no reason to presume that both of your cousins have the same problem.

3. If they like women, have they stated their preferences, ie, what kind of women they like? This makes a big difference when trying to set somebody up.

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:25

Quote:

Abyway, what would you guys do? Seriously?

I am not too sure if sex will help them be able to talk. Maybe get them enrolled in Toast Masters, I hear that they help with public speaking, and could help them over come similar fears.

I seriously think that getting them liquored or stoned around women would do wonders to their libeto

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:25

you bastard! if i didnt have to get some sleep i might entertain the idea of lunch with someone 2.5 times my elder.

also my car needs to warm up for a while before its ready to go

actually sleep is for the wicked!

Boris Godunov · April 25, 2003, 13:27

We should spread word of their plight to as many locations as possible. Please post pictures of them, preferably shirtless (to pique the interest of the ladies more, of course).

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:28

ok red_jon

Boris Godunov · April 25, 2003, 13:28

*Accidentally smacks MRT144 with a 2X4*

Apocalypse · April 25, 2003, 13:32

Maybe you are setting them up with the wrong women.

Get some incredibly annoying, *****y, talkative women that won't shut up. That way these guys don't have the chance to say something stupid. Just tell the twins to keep nodding their heads and look concerned. That can't be too hard.

Nothing has to happen the first date. Just have them call up for the second date and have them read from a script that goes something like "I really enjoyed talking with you the other night and maybe we can do it again" and then something that would set up another date. This will make them come off as sensitive because it isn't like any other guy would have ever wanted a second date with one of those girls especially if those girls get a chance to talk the whole night.

The good thing about listening while out is that there isn't much to do except drink.

Aro · April 25, 2003, 13:34

Apocalypse, you're an evil genius.

MRT144 · April 25, 2003, 13:35

okay, spec, here is a car reference for you concerning them. basicly they are going in reverse at 20 mph. you just cant shift from R to 1st and lay the gas on in one motion and expect everything to work itself out.

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:37

Quote:

Originally posted by obiwan18
Spec:

1. Do they have any desire to meet girls? This is not really something you can push.

They REALLY DO!!!! They have like 10g of straight porn each on their PCs.

Quote:

2. Do they always go together? There is no reason to presume that both of your cousins have the same problem.

No they dont.

Quote:

3. If they like women, have they stated their preferences, ie, what kind of women they like? This makes a big difference when trying to set somebody up.

Yes they did, but it changes everyday. So I try with any girl...I was thinking that they had to hit it of someday....but now, I'm just out of ressources. Hey, I even go see girls in bars and ask them to join us at our table just so that they would have to talk to a girl! Nothing to do.

Oerdin · April 25, 2003, 13:38

Didn't they go to college? They could have solved this problem buy getting drunk at a frat party.

Japher · April 25, 2003, 13:38

Sounds like they want sluty girls...

Spec · April 25, 2003, 13:39

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher
I seriously think that getting them liquored or stoned around women would do wonders to their libeto

Dont think I haven't tried....it doesn't work. They want to but they never get to...