Comments on "The City of Hope: A SMAC Legend"

Velociryx · November 5, 1999, 21:57

Episode I has been duly posted.....Friday seems to have been elected as the designated day, so Episode II will go up next Friday evening....

-=Vel=-

Velociryx · November 6, 1999, 01:26

Why did I post a comments thread for a story that does not exist?

Because it soon will! This is my way of "advertising" the story a bit....build up some expectation, that sort of thing....

Per a discussion with both Rynn (in the Forums) and Googlie (via AOL chat), I have finally been convinced to pick up the pen and re-work and complete the old Gaian "Episodes" I started way back in May.....work continues on that now (in fact, I'm taking a break from it as I type this), and I should have some postable material up soon.

My plan is to keep the suspense up by posting only one installment per week, in true serialized format (and, I've got enough material together that if I suffer writer's block, I will be able to rely on my backlog to help me over the hard spots). Having said that, be watching for the first installment, coming soon to an Apolyton near you....lol

-=Vel=-

Kinjiru · November 6, 1999, 01:41

Vel,

I am really glad to see this story line revived. It has always been my favorite, even surpassing the Chronicles. And I love the new intro to it. Classic stuff!!

In a broader note, I am happy that serialization is making a comeback as a viable form of storytelling. The resurgance of the format can be seen as early as the late 80's in National Geographic travelogues. And with Stephen King doing the mass market try with The Green Mile, many folks have gotten more intersted in the serial. And now with the internet, authors can get immediate feedback from their readers and so we see truly collaborative efforts.

Anyway, I'll get off the soapbox. Again Vel, thanks for reviving this story!

Velociryx · November 6, 1999, 02:19

Brother Kinjy!

I was wondering which of the SC'ers would see that particular tale first....and I'm glad you're liking the new material! There is much more to come! I've nearly doubled the length of it, as it existed when I stopped, and that's without adding anything beyond episode 16! LOL.....am in the process of editing that down some, but I really think it's a much more complete tale now....and yes.....I too, am QUITE pleased that the serial is making a (long overdue) comeback!

-=Vel=- (back to the writing)

ProvostB · November 6, 1999, 02:31

Vel,

It was a good story!! One of the best I've ever read! Keep up the good work, Mr. SMAC!!

-=ProvB=-

Velociryx · November 6, 1999, 07:06

Thank you, Provost!

And, I've been sorta-kinda toying with making two posts per week until I get the original 16 episodes completed.....::shrug:: dunno at this point.....just playing with the notion in my head, but there IS more on the way, and I'm also weaving bits of SMACX into the framework (even tho it meant deviating marginally from the storyline as it originally played out).....

-=Vel=-

Slats · November 6, 1999, 17:32

Excellent work Vel!!!

A masterpiece in the making, keep up the good work...

Slats

Velociryx · November 6, 1999, 18:24

Thanks guys, and by the way, what do you think of the one episode per week thing? Too much time inbetween, or no?

Cotronco: As to writing dialogue, here are a couple of things I do frequently (and I'm sure my neighbors think I'm insane...LOL)

First and most important is to make the conversations seem natural. When you write something down for one of your characters to say, try it on for size. Say it for yourself to see how it sounds coming out of your mouth. If it sounds 'stilted' or unnatural, consider how YOU would say the same thing, and make changes accordingly.

The second thing is this: We all know the importance of body language in helping to convey meaning, but our readers cannot actually "see" our characters, and so must be shown what they are doing. Thus, I make frequent mention of where my characters are looking, or how they are moving (ie"....the corners of his eyes crinkled slightly as he laughed at my concern, and I knew at that moment it was all going to be okay....." or stuff like that. (of course, taken together, these two suggestions may lead to situations where you find yourself looking in the mirron at the way your face scrunches up when you yell the phrase "Anna, come back!" at two o'clock in the morning until your neighbors come knocking on your door wanting to know who the Hell Anna is and if everything's okay.....not that I have any firsthand experience with that sort of thing....::lookin' suddenly sheepish:: LOL

-=Vel=-

[This message has been edited by Velociryx (edited November 06, 1999).]

Cotroneo · November 7, 1999, 01:59

I am humbled by your great writing skill velociryx, your writings is a great inspiration for my own thread "crossfire tales"...well me and a few others.

i really like how you conduct conversations and such.....its always been a problem for me....i could always you some pointers

like all above have said, great job, and interesting plot. I had not been here for your original story, so all this is new to me. Looking foward to next part of story

your humble writer

Cotroneo

Jasonian · November 8, 1999, 17:14

Interesting Velociryx... very interesting...

Tis nice writing, it is. An interesting and rather fresh approach to the (in my opinion) oveused Gaian lifestyle. Having read the first two episodes, I await the third instalment.

"Your reserachers have discovered Velociryx's story! This discovery stimulates a bunch of new writing for the Crossfire Tales!"

------------------
- Jasonian (back to the Drone mines)

Velociryx · November 8, 1999, 18:07

Jasonian: Thanks!

I have tried to stick true to the "classic" Gaian mindset, but it occured to me that, in the beginning of things, they'd have no more or less empathy than anybody else with the Planetary conscoiousness.....they may be more open to it, but would still need a catalyst....someone to show them the way, so to speak.....heheh....so I figured I'd explain a bit of that....

I've also been trying to keep all the native Gaian characters true to form (Kevin's comment in episode I to the effect that his mission was "more important than some stupid regulation" was written with the Gaian Police penalty in mind)....

Next installment being worked on currently....

-=Vel=-

Velociryx · November 8, 1999, 20:46

Am I a sucker, or what? LOL....I get a few suggestions that maybe one segment a week isn't quite enough, and what do I do? I post the segments as soon as I'm done with them.....

-Enjoy!

-=Vel=-

Lady Sonya · November 9, 1999, 00:55

Well, I have been lurking around here for many months. But this thread was enough to force me to post a reply. Im a long time fan of Vel and his writing. He told me he had posted a story here and that I should go read it sometime. I said of course. NEVER played SMAC... ummmm never heard of SMAC lol. But his episodes pulled me in and made me a regular reader of the forums.
I have still never played, but I did just tell him the other day I thought it was about time to download that demo. Of course, he graciously sent me my own copy of the Strategy Guide.:-) So now I am prepared.
I must commend you all on your writing abilities. I have enjoyed this fiction forum daily. Googlie, the Mindworm Story was wonderful. I must admit I havent attempted the Spartan Chronicles.

Sorry.
But I love all of the rest. Thank you to you all.Please.. wish me well on my first SMAC Journey, coming soon.
Smiles to all,
Lady Sonya

P.S. Vel, I cant wait to get started reading, and Im so glad to see your going to them more often then once a week. I just hate the suspense between them. :-)

Velociryx · November 9, 1999, 01:45

In talking with a number of people here, I've decided to go ahead and speed up the releases of the "old-but-revamped" story material....no specific timeframe....but I'll try not to flood too much out all at once....but these early episodes will certainly appear more quickly than the ones which fall after Episode XVI.....at any rate....I'll be posting Episode II shortly....enjoy....

-=Vel=-

Velociryx · November 9, 1999, 12:10

Hello Lady S! And I'm glad you came out of hiding....

Also glad to hear you've officially joined the ranks of the hopelessly SMAC-addicted....hehehe....get ready for some sleepless nights!

Good luck with the demo, and I hope the Strat. Guide serves you well....

And, here's hoping you continue posting! 'tis good to see you here!

-=Vel=-

Rynn · November 12, 1999, 09:30

Lady Sonya:

Welcome to the ranks of the posters to the Fiction site:

After one of the Chroniclres authors (Tokek Belerang)started the project, but had to suspend due to an injury, I took over the task of keeping the Chronicles up-to-date in word.doc format.

They are in bite size chunks (byte size chunks)now totalling four books each with around 225 pages for easier downloading and reading.

I've e-mailed you the four as four separate e-mails (in case you have ISP limitations on file size)

enjoy.

(And if you ever feel like writing fot the Chrons, just jump right in)

Rynn

PS: To Vel:

Didn't mean to use your thread as a plug for the Chrons - you know I'm a hopeless addict of your writings

R.

------------------
The Truth will set you free

Velociryx · November 12, 1999, 12:16

Awwww....you know I'd forgive you pretty much anything....

-=Vel=-

Kinjiru · December 2, 1999, 19:38

Heya Vel, so it's been awhile since you've posted a new episode. Other projects taking your time....?

Velociryx · December 3, 1999, 11:38

Sorry for the delay, brother Kinjy....indeed....Y2K stuff has been killing me.....

Oh, and here's something wierd....last night, I was on AOL chatting with Googlie, and got booted. This morning, I find out that my account has been cancelled....:

out:; calling aol at lunch to raise some serious hell....they certainly don't mind taking my money every month, they can damn well give me access!

-=Vel=-

Velociryx · December 12, 1999, 19:49

Finally! LOL....I got a block of time and was able to get back to this story!

-=Vel=-

LittleRaven · November 21, 2000, 15:51

This story is just incrediable! I've only been able to find up to chapter 10, though. Please tell me there's more somewhere and I'm just being stupid....

Massive thumbs up to Velociryx for his great effort. I can't believe I'm only now finding this place! So many stories! Woo hoo!!!

Googlie · November 21, 2000, 16:46

Go back to p6, where you'll find them as episodes. Episode Ten is the Chapter ten that the City of Hope ended on- there were six more episodes written in Vel's great "Unfinished Symphony"

Rynn: · November 21, 2000, 17:51

To save readers the task of browsing thru the archived file pages I have copied Vel's Chapters 11 thru 16 to the original thread and bumped it up - I know he won't mind

Rynn

Argonaut · November 21, 2000, 19:59

Darn. I saw this up near the top and I thought Vel might have come back to us. This was the first story I read on this website, and part of the reason why I picked up SMAC. Oh well, it was nice to revisit though

Velociryx · June 13, 2004, 23:30

A long overdue update for a story in need of an ending....

-=Vel=-

Skanky Burns · June 14, 2004, 09:46

Wow. Just wow.

Very powerful.

Velociryx · June 14, 2004, 18:16

Thank you sir! Still so far to go till I reach the end, but I wanted to post those *long overdue* updates to at least get things started again...

-=Vel=-

Skanky Burns · June 14, 2004, 22:23

Quote:

Originally posted by Velociryx
Thanks guys, and by the way, what do you think of the one episode per week thing? Too much time inbetween, or no?

Irony.

Quote:

Interlude:

Professor Baxter paused in the telling of the story for a lingering moment, and looked around the campfire at his charges. There were no dry eyes in the group,

I must admit that bit made me laugh too. How did you know?

Velociryx · June 14, 2004, 22:46

Irony indeed...how long has it been?

And as to that other part....just a guess, cos MY eyes weren't dry after the writing...

-=Vel=-