PRAVDA - Page 5

Gnool · May 29, 2003, 08:04

You could say that we've developed infonets, seeing as the entertainment news says we've just installed a network node

and someone could write an article called "The Glory That Is The People's Democracy"

Snowflake · May 29, 2003, 09:32

How about my earlier suggestion about the chairman meets with an AI leader? I thought we had mentioned before that we got a common frequency from a pot or something like that.

Snowflake · May 29, 2003, 10:01

Oh I've got a prototype probe team (lego) How about a piece of news to go with it? Now only if I can figure out how to fix my digital camera ...

Vev · May 29, 2003, 18:40

!IMPORTANT! Hive Public Safety Announcement !IMPORTANT!

Know Your Mindworms

Due to the recent tradegy of our selfless, brave, glorious comrades, the Hive Government will provide information about the dangers of mindworms. The sacrifices of our ~~undesirable dissidents used as test subjects~~ fallen comrades are not in vain as now we know how to conquer these mindworms.

Mindworms are the evil spawn of the planet who wish to see our downfall. They employ cowardly mind attacks hoping to seek to paralysis us. But through our glorious willpower and strength of mind, we shall prevail and cook these foul abominations.

A boil can be spotted by a giant rolling mass of pink wriggling worms. When they come, stand your ground and do not fear them, for they shall weed the weak minded fools ~~and meanwhile the party shall evacuate using you as buffer~~. Their attacks will be persistent, but resist against their corrupting influence and strike back with glorious fury.

Asides from that, they are totally safe and nothing to worry about ~~unless they are use on you for interrogation practices~~.

~~~~:<

Jamski · May 30, 2003, 04:56

Keep them coming, new PRAVDA will be out soon.

-Jam

Snowflake · May 30, 2003, 09:53

Somebody needs to update the deadline for the #6 issue.

Gnool · May 30, 2003, 10:27

Socialist utopia one step closer thanks to our glorious environmental developments

The Ministry of Information today announced today that the "People of the Human Hive are one step closer to the glorious proletariat paradise Marx envisioned centuries ago thanks to the thankless work of our hard working scientists." After nearly a decade of studying our new home, the glorious Hive think-tank has published details of new knowledge and technologies that is simply being called Centauri Ecology. "This wonderious new knowledge will allow us to resculpt the environment as we see fit" said the coordinator of the Centauri Ecology team, Bob Brown. "With oxygen being produced by expansive lush forests, increased productivity in the bases from mines, with energy harnessed from the sun via solar panels and with food for the people being grown on farms (collective, of course), the Hive will be a Marxist utopia before you know it".

The first application of this knowledge, a massive self-contained machine called a terraformer, has already been built and is laying the foundations of a socialist utopia as I write. A second terraformer is currently under production. It is not yet known what effect terraforming will have on the dastardly capitalist mindworms that slaughtered Hive colonists a few years ago.

Frankychan · May 31, 2003, 21:09

*****Announcement from the Commissioner of Public Safety*****

Comrades, your appointed Commissioner Frankychan has announced that new measures have been enacted to protect all Hive citizens from outside influences. The new policies for Public Safety are listed below:

1.All non-essential lights must be turned off by the designated curfew time. The government needs the additional power for use in industrial manufacturing.

2.Police forces will double their patrols of Hiverian territories to prevent harm to our glorious comrades.

3.New covert measures have been put in place to protect our glorious cities from outside, and potentially harmful, influence. Due to the nature of these measures, they will not be disclosed.

The Commissioner wishes all Hive citizens a glorious day.

Glory to the Hive!

Rokossovky · June 2, 2003, 00:46

Top Ten Reasons for Joining the Revolutionary Army of the Socialist People of the Human Hive. A new poll from the Ministry of Peace.

10. Because PRAVDA says I should
9. Because women like men in uniforms
8. Because men like men in uniforms
7. Because I get to blow "stuff" up
6. Because the recruitment video had a good theme song
5. Some vague reference to honour and glory, usually quickly followed by responses 8 or 9 (or both)
4. Because the Glorious Comrade Chairman Voltaire, who is like a father to our faction, and we ALL respect our fathers, says I should
3. Because my other option was "cleaning" the recycling tanks
2. It gets me away from the wife
1. Because if I don't Comrade Marshal Rokossovky's cronies will nerve staple my family, friends, pets, teachers and pretty much anyone who has ever seen, heard, or thought of me. Er, I mean...

- Rokossovky

Vev · June 2, 2003, 02:17

Everything is Normal, There is Nothing to Worry About

The Party has denied any instances of security breaches in the Hive. "There have been no breaches in security in the Hive. All spies and traitors have been caught and processed," said the spokesman of the Hive Security. "These rumors by rival factions are all lies and, there is no substance behind them." Pravda would like to recall previous incidents of false rumors such as the infamous chairman's personal themepark and the chairman's luxury yatch with onboard casino.

The Commission of Hive Security recommends the citizen to follow these instructions:
1. Believe in the Pravda
2. Do not believe the lies of other factions
3. Report rumor spreaders to the state police

Failure to comply will result in an indefinate holiday to the recycling tanks.

Frankychan · June 2, 2003, 03:58

Commissioner of Public Safety agress with Commissioner of General Security.

Jamski · June 2, 2003, 07:46

Deadline extended owing to me getting flu and hayfever at the same time (WTF???) I was up to a nice warm 100°F last night. I'll be seeing about a new PRAVDA very soon.

*sneezes*

-Jam

Vev · June 2, 2003, 20:48

I am now giving a very good reason why Gnool continues as Hive Cartoonist.

Probably a good idea not to use this article for Pravda

Hive Official Comment:
"Drawings of a re-educated Hive dissident of the Glory of Nerve Staple"

Gnool · June 3, 2003, 04:28

LOL That's great!!

Jamski · June 3, 2003, 05:40

/me is very tempted to use this

-Jam

Jamski · June 3, 2003, 07:08

And the new PRAVDA is up here.

Thanks as always for all the glorious contributions

-Jam

Gnool · June 3, 2003, 08:20

Marvellous as usual

Haon · June 3, 2003, 08:23

I need to knwof or my article, what is the code that you need to use to put a "Cross out" through words?

Haon · June 3, 2003, 08:24

and Gnool, its GLORIOUS as usual, not simply marvelous!

Gnool · June 3, 2003, 08:37

<strike>~~Marvellous~~</strike> Glorious. Aggh I just thought of something - I forgot to write something about the glory that is the Cominfac.

Jamski · June 3, 2003, 08:41

There's always a next issue Comrade Gnool - and we'll need a new cartoon by then too

Our public expects it.

-Jam

Jamski · June 9, 2003, 10:05

OK, we've played two turns since the last PRAVDA - can we get some good stuff please?

Gnool - cartoon(s)?
Vev - stories?
Franky - announcement ?
Voltaire - speech?
Anyone - anything?

Thanks, and hurry! We have a reputation to upkeep!

-Jam

Snowflake · June 9, 2003, 16:02

An unofficial newspaper called "rumor mill" circulated in the fellowship city base has recently caused public attention. In an article it reported: "We've been getting some early information from various industry sources over the last week about a secret project that is being initiated in the Office of military intelligence. Word is, the OMI is currently prototyping an infiltration unit called 'probe team'. " The article is hurriedly written and highly emotional. It did not provide any remotely reliable account or captures any details. However, it came with a blurred photo of something resembling a robot. (attach lego photo here)

The newspaper was confiscated on the same day of the report by the Commissioner of public safety for reason of "spreading rumors, disrupting social order and violating social stability." There are also words about possible personnel change of the director of military intelligence.