May 20, 2003, 00:21
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#1
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Retired
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Mingapulco - CST
Posts: 30,317
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WARNING: The consumption may...
Got this via email today... I don't remember if anybody has posted this yet, but if somebody already has, I'm sure I will be hearing about it 
American liquor manufacturers have accepted the
FDA's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a retard.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
your friends over
and over again that you love them.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other
members of the opposite sex without spitting.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead,
knees and lower back.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster
and better looking than most people.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
*****
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
*****
WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you
can tipe real gode.
Special Thanks to Baron O... the member here who sent it to me.
What other warnings can you think of
__________________
Keep on Civin'
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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May 20, 2003, 00:29
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#2
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King
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Halloween town
Posts: 2,969
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The consumption of alcohol may cause you to lower ur standards.
__________________
:-p
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May 20, 2003, 00:36
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#3
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: May 2001
Location: flying too low to the ground
Posts: 4,625
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__________________
"I've lived too long with pain. I won't know who I am without it. We have to leave this place, I am almost happy here."
- Ender, from Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
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May 20, 2003, 00:38
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#4
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 4,213
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Awesome! 
__________________
"I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer
"I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand
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May 20, 2003, 00:40
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#5
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Prince
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Augusta Vindelicorum
Posts: 655
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Quote:
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing.
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"Denn wer nicht singt, der soll auch nicht mittrinken"
(He who doesn't sing shall not drink with us. From a song by Hans Leo Hassler, 16th century)
That's why I usually sing before drinking. 
And I can confirm that while drinking, something strange happens to the ability to sing.
WARNING:
Alcohol makes you see two motorbikes when you are approaching a car.
__________________
Why doing it the easy way if it is possible to do it complicated?
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May 20, 2003, 00:49
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#6
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Emperor
Local Time: 10:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Hiding from the deadly fans
Posts: 5,650
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to attempt to slap cards while playing Egyptian Rat screw with a beer can.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that a window is a good shortcut.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to stumble around Canadian Burger Kings looking for the hat you left in the hostel.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you getting rolled up in a rug like a human burrito.
__________________
Stop Quoting Ben
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May 20, 2003, 00:55
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#7
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Retired
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Mingapulco - CST
Posts: 30,317
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you waking up in the middle of a corn field, with absolutely NO idea how you go there.
__________________
Keep on Civin'
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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May 20, 2003, 01:45
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#8
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Emperor
Local Time: 08:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Posts: 3,345
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you waking up in someone's bed wondering who is that girl? Where are you? What day is it now? And the most importantly- who the hell are you?
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May 20, 2003, 01:50
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#9
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Settler
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Battle Creek, Michigan
Posts: 23
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WARNING:
If enough is good,then to much is not better.
__________________
The ways of Man are passing strange, he buys his freedom and he counts his change.
Then he lets the wind his days arrange and he calls the tide his master.
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May 20, 2003, 02:11
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#10
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Local Time: 12:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you singing "quietly" to yourself at night, waking others in the house up.
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
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May 20, 2003, 02:13
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#11
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: It doesn't matter what your name is!
Posts: 3,601
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Quote:
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in a lecture from some know-it-all 'straight-edge' college-aged jerkoff
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__________________
"Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez
"I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui
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May 20, 2003, 03:03
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#12
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Emperor
Local Time: 19:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1998
Posts: 3,215
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you making a fool of yourself in chatrooms that you frequent, leading to hilarious chatlogs like the following:
www.kaction.com/drunk.txt
www.kaction.com/drunk2.txt
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May 20, 2003, 03:09
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#13
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King
Local Time: 03:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hooked on a feeling
Posts: 1,780
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WARNING
The consumption of Alcohol may cause silly posts on Internet forums 
__________________
So get your Naomi Klein books and move it or I'll seriously bash your faces in - Supercitizen to stupid students
Lord know, I've made some judgement errors as a mod here. The fact that most of you are still allowed to post here is proof of that. - Rah
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May 20, 2003, 04:02
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#14
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King
Local Time: 09:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,515
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And here I was thinking this was about GP.
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May 20, 2003, 06:46
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#15
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Local Time: 12:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Skanky Father
Posts: 16,530
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Quote:
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*** ixnay is now known as ixnay|salkeep
clowse sentough
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Classic stuff, reading the 2nd one now!
__________________
I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).
Last edited by Skanky Burns; May 20, 2003 at 07:05.
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May 20, 2003, 06:52
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#16
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you being duck-taped to a tree.
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May 20, 2003, 08:36
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#17
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Just another peon
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: who killed Poly
Posts: 22,919
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you thinking it's a good idea to tell your boss what you really think of him.
__________________
The OT at APOLYTON is like watching the Special Olympics. Certain people try so hard to debate despite their handicaps.
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May 20, 2003, 08:47
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#18
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Deity
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
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The consumption of alcohol may cost you an arm.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
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May 20, 2003, 08:51
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#19
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Deity
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Seouenaca, Cantium
Posts: 12,426
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Re: WARNING: The consumption may...
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Ming
Got this via email today... I don't remember if anybody has posted this yet, but if somebody already has, I'm sure I will be hearing about it
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This is old and tired Ming.
__________________
"Everybody knows you never go full retard. You went full retard man. Never go full retard"
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May 20, 2003, 08:54
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#20
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Warlord
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: L'Boro, UK
Posts: 126
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol might result in pictures being taken you'd rather your girlfriend didn't see.
__________________
It’s a great art, is rowing. It’s the finest art there is. It’s a symphony of motion. And when you reach perfection, you are touching the divine. It touches the you of yous – which is your soul. George Pocock
What fun is that? Why all that hard, exhausting work? Where does it get you? What is the good of it? It is one of the strange ironies of life that those who work the hardest, who subject themselves to the strictest discipline, who give up certain pleasurable things in order to achieve a goal, are the happiest. Brutus Hamilton
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May 20, 2003, 09:43
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#21
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: mmmm sweet
Posts: 3,041
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may result in you being shaved where you shouldn't ever be shaved!
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May 20, 2003, 10:00
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#22
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Emperor
Local Time: 02:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 1999
Posts: 8,515
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Quote:
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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Got something to tell us Ming..?
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May 20, 2003, 11:55
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#23
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mu Mu Land
Posts: 6,570
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Warning: The consumption of alcohol does not make you invisible, invincible, or able to fly.
Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you actually enjoy a rave and/or techno music.
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May 20, 2003, 12:55
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#24
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 5,605
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Rug burns on your forehead? 
__________________
"For just twenty cents a day, we'll moisten your dreams with man urine." -Space Ghost
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May 20, 2003, 12:57
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#25
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Retired
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Mingapulco - CST
Posts: 30,317
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Only if you have rugs around...
For you, it's probably just splinters
__________________
Keep on Civin'
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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May 20, 2003, 13:28
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#26
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: A real Master of CTP-PBEM - together with all the others.....
Posts: 6,303
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Warning: The consumption of alcohol might let your think, that a beercoat is enough to keep you warm when scouting 4 whole hours for a taxi in the cold night after a party.
Surprisingly it often is 
__________________
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.
Gandhi
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May 20, 2003, 13:28
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#27
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Emperor
Local Time: 21:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Fort LOLderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Posts: 9,091
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Warning, the consumption of alcohol may lead to your girlfriend doing your hair, face, and nails.
__________________
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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May 20, 2003, 13:34
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#28
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Retired
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Mingapulco - CST
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
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Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Warning, the consumption of alcohol may lead to your girlfriend doing your hair, face, and nails.
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PICTURES... WE WANT PICTURES
__________________
Keep on Civin'
Civ V Civilization V Civ5 CivV Civilization 5 Civ 5 - Do your part!
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May 20, 2003, 13:35
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#29
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Settler
Local Time: 03:57
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 65,535
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may... make you
lose sleep
lose work's day
lose lips
lose pants
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May 20, 2003, 13:38
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#30
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Emperor
Local Time: 20:57
Local Date: November 1, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: It doesn't matter what your name is!
Posts: 3,601
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Quote:
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Rug burns on your forehead?
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Carpet Cleaner!!
__________________
"Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez
"I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui
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