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Old May 22, 2003, 05:21   #1
GeneralTacticus
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The University Science Monitor, Issue #1
The University Science Monitor, Issue #1 – The Official Newspaper of the Planet University of Technology

University Tribune Closes After Single Issue – New Newspaper Founded
by GeneralTacticus

The first official news outlet of the Planet University of Technology, The University Tribune, closed down after only a single issue when founder and editor Tassadar5000 defected to the Human Hive shortly before the Unity broke up. In response, after some deliberation over the editor and name of the news outlet to replace it, Chancellor GeneralTacticus announced the opening of the second University newspaper, The University Science Monitor. In doing so, he commented that now at least “Mr. President can run the Exchanges Department without worrying about Tass spoiling things like he nearly did with the Hive.”

First Faculty Board for PUT Chosen
by GeneralTacticus

After several days of deliberation over the nature of each post on the faculty board and who would fill it, the PUT now finally has an official government. The positions were organized as follows:

Dean: Archaic
Chancellor: GeneralTacticus

Professor of Geopolitical Studies: GeneralTacticus
Exchanges Officer: Mr. President
Professor of Marketing, Advertising and Public Relations: GeneralTacticus
- Associate Professor to the school of Marketing, Advertising and Public Relations: History Guy
Professor of Social Sciences: Archaic
Professor of Pure Sciences: AdamTG02

Major Temporal Anomaly Detected
by GeneralTacticus

Approximately two days ago, a team of freelance scientists who had been working on a project involving experimental technology for observation of the temporal manifold made an astonishing announcement: there had been a severe rift in time a short while ago, which resulted in the division of the universe into two separate parallels: one in which matters carried on as they were, and one I which everything was effectively rewound by several years and left to proceed back to this point. As proof, they produced readings from their measuring devices indicating that there was a severe temporal disruption shortly after University forces opened the Unity pod which had landed near University Base, and further cited the fact that University records do not appear to agree on exactly what emerged from the pod. While on-site observers agree that ***censored for security reasons***, many University records claim that what was discovered was a mysterious alien monolith. The team ahs speculated that tampering with this monolith by researchers may have triggered the anomaly they observed.

Further news as research continues.

Philosophy, Opinion, and Editorials:

None as yet; both members and non-members of the University are welcome to send their articles to the University Science Monitor.
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Old May 22, 2003, 05:58   #2
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It's true. I saw it myself. Keep well away from those monoliths in the future!
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Old May 22, 2003, 07:13   #3
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Originally posted by moomin
It's true. I saw it myself. Keep well away from those monoliths in the future!
You are mistaken. What you saw was a mirage caused by fungus gas refracting the light from Alpha Centauri B.

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Old May 22, 2003, 12:01   #4
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???
This newspaper is boring .
Don't you ever have anything interesting to talk about except this anomoly and that experiment
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Old May 22, 2003, 15:05   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Atlantian
???
This newspaper is boring .
Don't you ever have anything interesting to talk about except this anomoly and that experiment
What did you expect? They're the University.
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Old May 22, 2003, 15:48   #6
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Its not even TRUE LIES in the University paper

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Old May 22, 2003, 16:17   #7
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I thought it was quite good actually. Relatively short, factual, and a nice RP about the change. I was impressed Well done GT
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Old May 22, 2003, 19:00   #8
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Wow, this newspaper isn't plauged by the omnipresent and oppresive very kind censors of PRAVDA (the ultimate publication of the universe).

That makes it a bit better than your common public restroom graffiti.
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Old May 22, 2003, 19:13   #9
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Your logical and rational analysis methods are to be congratulated. We look forward to further University updates in the future.
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Old May 23, 2003, 03:09   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Octavian X
Wow, this newspaper isn't plauged by the omnipresent and oppresive very kind censors of PRAVDA (the ultimate publication of the universe).

That makes it a bit better than your common public restroom graffiti.
Quote:
Originally posted by Drogue
I thought it was quite good actually. Relatively short, factual, and a nice RP about the change. I was impressed Well done GT
Ladies and gentleman, we have our next defectors.
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Old May 23, 2003, 08:58   #11
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I thought we voted not to allow it

-Jam
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Old May 23, 2003, 10:04   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jamski
I thought we voted not to allow it
We did.

Quote:
Originally posted by Static Universe
Ladies and gentleman, we have our next defectors.
You think the Prime Faction of the Conciousness would ever leave the most intelligent of factions? That would be a highly illogical thought. While we admire the University, they are not a match for our Gorilla supreme rationality

Function TK Gamma-8, I believe we have found the Gorilla's first target friend
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Old May 23, 2003, 14:53   #13
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you're confusing me. do i get to push the Release the Gorilla button or not?
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Old May 23, 2003, 16:04   #14
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It doesn't matter! If you don't know which, just release him! Depending on the Gorilla's actions, you can decipher which he is.
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Old May 24, 2003, 09:25   #15
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Originally posted by Atlantian
???
This newspaper is boring .

It's a scientific paper, you are supposed to be bored...
Alternatively, not understand a word of it. Uh, usually both.

}8=|P
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Old May 24, 2003, 23:15   #16
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What you need is equations lots of it. I usually find them either very dull or very slow to read.
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Old May 25, 2003, 08:13   #17
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Either that or a long discussion of the minute differences between four different kinds of stingless bees, which have very similar Latin names....*yawns*

-Jam
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