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Old July 2, 2003, 14:21   #1
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S.P.I.N. Volume I (lets see if we get any participation)
Satiring Political and International News

(yes, I came up with a better word for the 'p'. Behold my legondary lack of naming skills!)

Rules
  • Please do not comment in this thread, comment on any stories here: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...threadid=89413
  • All postings here should be of a lighthearted nature, but also at least attempt to relay SOME information.
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  • This thread will remain open for submissions until Friday, July 11th, at that time a new thread will be created, and one will be created each Friday thereafter. On those Fridays, either myself, or someone I ask, will PM Dan and Mark excerpts for inclusion on the main news page with a link to the relevant thread.
  • Violators of any of these rules will be required to insert into their sig the following phrase until a new S.P.I.N. thread is created: "I am a stupid idiot who can not even understand the simplest rules of good fun and polite conversation."
  • Actual phrase and insertion of such are entirely voluntary. S.P.I.N. is not responsible for anyone who is stupid enough to take the above 'enforcement' seriously
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Old July 2, 2003, 14:35   #2
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GoW Civil War Draws to an End
Farb Family Nearly Wiped Out

A conflict that arose from the recent elections within the Glory of War has finally drawn to a close. Those in the support of Panzer32 squared off against those loyal to the traditional leadership of the Farb family. In a violent bloodbath that left few in Imperia out of the action, Panzer was finally able to subjugate the resistance. It was widely rumored that the blockheads, as Panzer supporters had been come to known, were being privately backed from outside the nation. Though no proof was left behind, the very name suggests that Legoland could have been funding the efforts to overthrow the Farb family in the first place. Investigators are now searching for clues as to the true motive, if any, behind such alleged actions.

In the wake of the violence, the Farb family fled to seek refuge in Spain after first discovering to their horror that there were no lands left in which to hide in Lux Invicta. However this quickly turned to tragedy as well as the Farb family soon were besieged with an unusual illness that appears to have come from a bad batch of Squid. While some claim it was mere coincidence, others claim it was yet further proof that Legoland is trying to remove the Farbs from the game. The disease has left a single survivor, though the stress of the whole incident has left GhengisFarb the DCXIX a raving lunatic. Despite his ravings, the Mad King Donegeal has accepted him into his Kingdom of Dreadnoughtica where he will undergo rehabilitation and hopefully become an active member of the Glory of War once again.

- UnOrthOdOx
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Old July 2, 2003, 15:09   #3
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Madness spreads through Glory of War
UnOrthOdOx Latest to show signs

What appears to be becomming an epidemic within the Glory of War team has now reached new hieghts. What originally was displayed be the Mad King Donegeals incomprehensible landing on Gathering Storm lands, and quickly followed by GhengisFarbs random ravings had reach new hieghts as UnOrthOdOx has been taken into custody and placed under observation. It appears that during a standard Dtrategy meeting, UnOrthOdOx began exclaiming unusual strategies and claimed to be the next heir to some people who are known as the Vikings. His ramblings about the need to upgrade more warriors and take the war to the Iriquois have left the Glory of War doctors baffled with no explaination. At this rate, it must be questioned whether there will be any sanity within Glory of War in the years to come as their members seem to be losing their minds at an alarming rate. Perhaps this is the workings of the All Seeing Eye, infecting the Glory of War forum with a virus in an attempt to gain revenge for GoW's hand in removing the All Knowing Trip from the game.

"We have our suspisions. Well, believe it or not, UnOrthOdOx actually tried to order that we disband Camulodunum because he thought he had seen a Neu Demogyptican 20 tiles away move one tile towards the city. I think this could only be the workings of Trip...what other explaination can there be?" Panzer stated.
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Old July 2, 2003, 17:30   #4
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Dissidentville Lives up to Name, Riots.

Dissidentville, Stormia (OrangeNews) - "Hell no, we won't go!" was the chant in Dissidentville's street (intentional lack of plural) earlier today. A crowd of 12 Voxian supporters gathered around the mudhole that serves as a temporary forum for the new Republican government that has been installed, to let their dissent be known.

"Our Barracks was built on the backs (literally) of Voxians Workers, and now our new [Friendly Saviors] wish us to abandon our great heritage?" questioned one disgruntled former taskmaster. "That there's a magic Barracks, we tore it down yesterday for scrap, then *poof* it's right back where t'was the next morn'." added another resident. "I ain't givin' up my field to no Storm" chimed in Farmer Ely*, "No matter how bigs the chicken they threaten us'n with!"

Plans call for the evacuation of the plague ridden town, and to move the community out further to the coast. Fears of fabled Sea Chickens have hampered efforts so far. "We'z fished them deep waters once't, and it's the fishes doin all the catchin. But no, come ta think of it, they wasn't Chickens, leastways not no Chicken I seen." was a common sentiment.

Gathering Storm officials have ordered a shipment of furs to calm the backlash against the new policy. "The shipment was headed overseas, but seems to have been infested by fleas, so has been re-routed to Dissidentville." responded the Mayor. "We're touting these furs as 'seas proof, not fleas proof'. Kinda catchy don'tcha think?" He added that the quota of furs for overseas shipment had since been filled, flea-free, due to the overly cold winter last year. The same winter that will forever haunt the desert city of Blizzard. As the Mayor pointed out, "We got more problems than you could shake a stick at here in Dissidentville, but at least we ain't a desert city named Blizzard!"

*No relation to the great war hero, though some of Ely's corn was suspected in the food poisoning incident at Voxian "Camp Arashi". Ely has been honored as such with the "Tin Chicken medal of hopefully turning public opinion towards the Storm" award recently commissioned by the new Mayor of Dissidentville. Word has it Ely uses the trinket as a fishing lure to haul in Catfish out of the swamps. "That there beak is an 'asty hook, no wonder our boys's all cut up like that." - Farmer Ely
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Old July 2, 2003, 18:47   #5
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Inquisition pauses trial Torquemada

Pamplona, 2 July 3809 (191 BC). By the Chief Secretary of the Vatican, Juan Fernandez.
Head of Inquisition Libre has decided to pause the trial against the traitor Torquemada for a while. This afternoon in the court he stated "This trial is in recess until further notice. The accused will be held in custody until such time court is in session", after which he confirmed it with a hammer-blow.

Torquemada was accused by the prosecutor, Cardinal Calamari, because he portrayed the Pope as an oppressive ruler who randomly judged any person for idiotic reasons. This was considered an insult of the Pope, which is strictly forbidden by the Law of the Church. Torquemada also described the King as weak and called indirectly for his abdication. This was considered treason of the King, which is also forbidden by the Law of the Church.

In Spain, Church and State are not seperated. The Church creates laws and manages the judicial branch of the Kingdom. Attempts to restructure this system have failed because of the immense power of the Church in Spain and because the King is very confident with the harsh, though, effective rule of the Inquisition. It is not very likely that the Church will step back in the near future. "The only way to possibly establish this [the seperation of Church and State]," says a republican, who wants to stay anonymous. "is to abolish the monarchy and adopt the republic. However, we lack the knowledge to organize such a system. Secondly, we have too little support. Until now the monarchists are repressing us firmly."

It has to be seen when the trial against Torquemada will continue. Sources from the Inquisition say that this recess shall probably not take very long. "The case will soon come to an end", one Clerk said.
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Old July 3, 2003, 02:28   #6
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Wolves Plague Beta-by-the-Sea

by Rhothaerill (RhothSPIN press)

Beta-by-the-Sea, North Estonia - The sad fate of the fine citizens of North Estonia has endured yet another savage twist. Wild wolves are invading the homes and shops of the populace. The famed white sand beaches have even been host to their foul depredations. A local sunbather was bitten for trying to pet a wolf, and the mayor’s sandcastle was destroyed. Even more distressing, lives were almost lost!

Before the abortive war with Gathering Storm these pests were a mere nuisance. The best and brightest of The Voice have now passed on, and the remaining armed forces have not been able to put a stop to this vicious incursion. Further they bring not only their nightly undertakings, but have introduced fleas and lice into our fair city.

Said one disgruntled citizen who requested anonymity, “Isn’t it enough that we must give up our homes? Now we cannot even obtain any peace in our final hours here. Is there no end to this madness?”

Vox administrators have refused to comment on this mass influx of these filth-ridden animals, but RhothSPIN Press has managed to uncover an unofficial conversation speculating on the source of these wolves. Names were not mentioned, but it is suspected that many centuries ago these wolves were unleashed to breed in our wildlands. Over the years they have maintained a significant presence on our homeland despite repeated efforts to eradicate them. Emboldened by the lack of armed troops manning our fair cities these wolves have increased their invasion of our land tenfold.

With no end to these wolves in sight and our orderly Voxodus underway, the forces of Gathering Storm must deal with these pests themselves. Good luck to them. They will need it!
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Old July 3, 2003, 03:31   #7
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Doughnuts shall save the world, proclaims one


The Eye of the Storm, Stormia - A citizen of the Republic has recently garned both praise and suggestions of mental instability for his recent preaching that doughnuts will one day save the world from destruction.

Octavian the Tenth is said to have one day appeared in the Eye of the Storm. Almost a week ago, he appeared on the steps of the Grand Senate Hall in the middle of the city, and started proclaiming this message. According to those who have heard these proclamations say that he claims that doughnuts, popular food of police officers world wide, will one day save the human race from destroying itself. He is reported to say that if the world united behind the universal love of these fried pastries, people would cease fighting so they may share their individual recipes in exchange for others. Even stranger, he proclaimed that this message was revealed to him by a 'Great Doughnut God'

"The man's a raving lunatic!" proclaimed a passerby. "I mean, everybody loves doughnuts, but people will only be driven to conquer each other in order to procure more doughnuts for themselves."

"I think he has a point," said a woman who just finished listening to Octavian speak. "If people would just sit around all day and eat doughnuts, we wouldn't have time for war. Then again, we'd have to deal with the fat."

True or untrue, the followers of this man are apparently united. A plot of land near the center of the Eye of the Storm has already been purchased by Octavian and his followers. Rumors suggest they are building a church in honor of this so-called Doughnut God. We can only wait and see what happens...
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Old July 3, 2003, 13:04   #8
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The tithe

Valladolid – by Domingo Quesecome III.
As soon as elected, His Holiness the Pope Aidun issued an edict that each family of Spain should feel free to give yearly to the Church whatever they want provided it is no less that one tenth of their income. An addendum published the following day mentioned that the non compliance would be deemed proper to qualify for an accusation of heresy, which was a pleasant way to inform that the tithe would be collected by the Inquisition. A good organization gives good results, and the collection rate of the tithe is every year around 99.99%, which miss the 100% perfection only because some avaricious cardinals are always paying late. All Spaniards are proud of their Church displaying for the glory of God the finest buildings and the refined way of life of the Pope and the Cardinals; the King himself spends less in one month than the Pope in one day, but who would decide to reduce the budget of the glory of God?

However impressing is the flow of gold generated by the tithe, the projects conceived by the Pope Aidun are so monumental that they require much, much more. A brilliant young man of his finance staff came up recently with a plan appropriately named: Faith creating value. It consists of:
- creating in a very remote place where a wonderfully astonishing miracle occurred in the past (the more back in the past the better not to be bothered by witnesses) a giant basilica;
- building there a great monastery dedicated to all previous, present and future saints;
- inducing people to do the pilgrimage to this monastery against a small reward such as a personal reserving of a seat in the paradise;
- building of a chain of monasteries within one day walk of each other, all over the world;
- setting up in all those monasteries specialized corners where the pilgrims will find, at very reasonable prices, all stuff necessary for a good and sincere pilgrim, such as: images of Pope Aidun on the sedia gestatoria, of Pope Aidun at 12 looking out of the window at school, of Pope Aidun at 18 lecturing fat and voracious cardinals on dietetics, of Pope Aidun blessing one anonymous guy, of King Togas kneeling before Pope Aidun crowning him, but also shoes, clothes and hats, all with the Vatican écusson, and also a book compiling Pope Aidun writings for the moral improvement of the pilgrims; on a shelf they will find wines produced on the vineyard of the monasteries, and food produced on the farm of the monasteries as well.

This plan is still under review, some experts participating in the review said that the end profit should certainly be counted in millions gold per year.
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Old July 3, 2003, 22:13   #9
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Dissidentville: A People's History

by Beta

As a great philosopher once said - "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or maybe in this case - the "land holder". The people of Dissidentville have had a varied and eventful history. And from its early beginnings as an outpost of Vox Controli, Dissidentville has always had its own uniquely varied character.

Its founding father, Dissident, set the early tone. A man not given to conforming, it was destined that his personality would form the basis for the community, which grew from the wilds of the jungle. And despite the founding father's proclivity towards matters sexual, the Ville which bears his name never showed any inclination for growth. It has always remained a small town.

A small town, yes, but big in history. Its early days as a frontier town are less well known. The city was originally established to legitimize Vox Controli's claim to a portion of South Estonia. A winding road from North Estonia cut through the jungle to the little oasis snugged in against the mountains. With adequate resources, and fine fishing, Dissidentville enjoyed its distance from both the Voxian capitol and the politics of state. Life was peaceful, prosperity moderate, and the people related well to their varied environment of mountains, jungle and beach.

And then history descended on it. In the form of Lux Invicta. Renamed Portia, the town became the new home for the beleagured nation exiled from the Bobian continent by its enemies. With Dissident busy in the north, new leaders Trip and BFM took over administration. The city accepted the changed leadership with a certain equanimity which comes from realizing that politics come and go, but here is here, and now is now, and the sun WILL rise tomorrow. Yes, some of the citizens were asked to start working on a Luxian galley down by the beach. This was acceptable as long as it did not interfere with the weekly fish fry. In fact, sales at the local shops went up. And the population started to rise. The Luxians were - how should I put it - a somewhat exotic people. Inter-racial marriages were more than acceptable, and soon the population was an interesting blend of ethnicity and culture.

The winds of history changed again, and in one of the town's darkest hours - both literally and figuratively speaking - troops of Vox Controli moved in at night to seize back the town of Portia and arrest the Luxian leadership. No one in town was ever really clear on the events leading up to this action. Nor was anyone quite sure what happened to the Luxians once they were marched out of town. But residents speculated the worse. There are still legends of haunted places in the surrounding jungle where on a quiet day you can hear Luxian voices united in sad song. On the other hand, there have been reports that Luxians have shown up in other nations around the world - the result of a Luxian diaspora. And then there is the rumour that circulates widely within the religious class in The Voice: that Trip himself somehow ascended to a different plane of existence altogether, and now communes with leaders of all civilizations through some ephemeral means.

All of which, to the people of Dissidentville, meant little in their scheme of things. Life returned to the day-to-day blissful existence that the town is renowned for. The half-built galley provided wood for beach fires and fish fry's for years to come. Shops were active. And the population was increasing gradually when the central Voxian government raised its head again. This time with a directive to build a barracks, for a planned war against the folks to the south - Gathering Storm. Now, it should be known that the residents of Dissidentville had no great love for the Stormians. After all, there was a nation that was the total antithesis of Dissidentville. The Stormians were hell bent on growth, and expansion, and increasing industrial capacity. They worked too much, talked very little, and partied even less. In general, very serious folk. After some early contact and trade, the citizens of Dissidentville felt the mountains made a nice barrier between the two different approaches to life.

But war against the Stromians; well that did seem a bit excessive. And now the Vox government wanted the barracks built. And quickly. This was not popular among the townspeople, but with a characteristic shrug and a sigh, they got to work. Little did they realize the extent of the hardship they were in for. Under troop supervision, all citizens would would work from dusk to dawn building the military complex which was supposedly central to Voxian plans against Gathering Storm. And it cost lives. The rushed construction resulted in a number of 'accidental' deaths; the close working conditions and disease added their toll; and the lack of food production and the stark contrast from an easy-going way of life added further stress.

In the end, the barracks were done, and the tired, disgruntled, and smaller population picked up the pieces of their lives and re-opened their shops. Which was a good thing - because there were customers. Many of them. Hordes of warriors from the north would flow into town for training at the barracks. The rough edges of the warriors were honed into disciplined Immortals. And they had money to spend in the shops. The busy times were a mixed blessing for Dissidentville. On one hand, the town's economy was booming. On the other, most longed for the quiet existence of yesteryear. There was the also the impact large numbers of troops had on social activities- and many children were born who can claim a northem Immortal as father.

The quiet of yesteryear did not return. War raged south of Dissidentville. Troops came and went. There were stories of great battles. Propaganda galore. Endless updates and announcements from the Voxian Ministry of Information. And then the truth. The war did not go well. Some stragglers made it back from the front with horrible tales of catapults and chickens, and Stormian pikes in heavily fortified cities, and maniacal war chariots. And then rumours of enemy landings to the North. And then the mad rush of Voxian troops northward.

What in The One's name was going on? The people of Dissidentville had an emergency town meeting - one of the few in its history, and came to the only conclusion they could with events swirling as they were - it was time for a fish fry. They met on the beach that night - and with almost no troops remaining in town - and with circumstances being what they were - it was a fish fry for the ages. Salmon and sea bass, grouper and swordfish. It reminded residents of the good ole' days.

But the good ole' days would not be returning anytime soon. The citizens of Dissidentville awoke the next morning from their fish fry haze, to find the city ringed by Gathering Storm pikemen, stoicly standing guard on the mountains. Blue uniforms as far as the eye could see. One could only expect the worse under such conditions, but then surprise, surprise - the large mass of Voxian troops which had recently departed north re-appeared, and set up camp in town. The Vox troops were a quiet and sombre bunch, and fortunately there was surprisingly little tension given the closeness of the Strormian troops on the mountains nearby. There was talk of a peace treaty, and Vox giving up its lands. The people of Dissidentville shrugged their shoulders once again.

By now you have to be thinking that, given everything the town had experienced over the the years, that nothing could surprise them anymore. Well, you would be wrong. A week or so after moving back into town, the Voxian troops disappeared. Yes - they simply disappeared. It was not like the Luxians when you could see them being led out of town. It was not like the recent troop movements in and out. No - the Voxians were there in their camp when the town went to sleep - and the next morning - poof - gone. No blood. No sign of a struggle. Very weird. Equally weird, but noticed only by a handful of folks, was that the very small Voxian flag, which hung over the door of the civic building had been replaced by a strange blue and yellow flag. Some thought the Luxians were back. And then the connection was made with the shields of the Stormian pikemen on the hills. Ah ha!

With the influx of Gathering Storm troops and workers, the population becomes even more ethnically mixed than before. New food stands have sprung up. The two chicken shops in town had to close given the Gathering Storm's sacred attitude towards the scrawny birds. But hey, one now sells bananas for throwing - a huge hit among the Stormians - and the other sells furs, a somewhat more exotic trade, even if there is a limited market in the jungle climate.

So - Dissidentville enters a new era. Calmly, I should add, as it has for centuries. And yes - it has only ever had one street! But should every city in the world be blessed to have such a street. Dissidentville can claim the most ethnically diverse population in the world. In the local cafes you will hear both the southern and northern dialects of Voxana, the sing song of Luxian, and the crisper consonants of Stormian. They are a mixed and vibrant people and easy-going by nature. And they have experienced so much in this world's short history.

Yes, Dissidentville is much more than first imagined.
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Old July 6, 2003, 21:16   #10
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Citizen Protests Call For Voxodus

By Rhothaerill (RhothSPIN Press)

The Voice, North Estonia – Increasing frustration with the approaching Voxodus has finally blown through the citizens of The Voice, capitol of the Voxians. In a surprising turn of events Arvin Tallus, the famed game hunter, has led a protest march on the palace, demanding for The One to step down.

No one else showed up though.

RhothSPIN Press was the first on the scene to witness Mr. Tallus' rants. Government officials ignored him however, until in a fit of pique he drew his hunting bow and fired an arrow toward the palace. The remaining peacekeeping forces immediately took notice then as Mr. Tallus was hauled off to the dungeon beneath the palace. As the written mouth of The Voice, RhothSPIN Press has been granted an exclusive interview with Mr. Tallus.

RhothSPIN Press: Mr. Tallus, the public just wishes to know why you’ve decided to singlehandedly call for the resignation of The One.

Arvin Tallus: Who wants to know?

RP: The public.

AT: Well you oughta tell ‘em to go get their lazy butts outa bed and start protestin’. This is our home we’re talkin’ about.

RP: What do you mean?

AT: I don’t expect you to get it. You’re a lazy reporter who don’t even work for no livin’.

RP: I resent that.

AT: Tough! You wanna talk to me then you gotta hear my words. I’m an honest man and I don’t have much use for people who don’t like what I gotta say. I don’t pull no punches. I lay it on the line.

RP: All right Mr. Tallus. Lay it on the line for me.

AT: As long as you understand me. All right then. My family has been huntin’ wild game in the forests around The Voice for thousands of years. Our line goes back almost as far as The One’s family. And now this Voxodus is gonna uproot my whole family to some place called Legos Minor. I’m a hunter, I ain’t no builder like these Lego people. My son will be a hunter too, and I ain’t about to let him be influenced by no Lego builder. That’s who we Tallus’s are. We’re hunters. Ain’t nobody gonna change that, not even The One.

RP: Trying to kill The One isn’t the way to remove him from power.

AT: Ah, I wasn’t tryin’ to kill him. Just put a little scare into his britches to wake him up. This Voxodus is a bad idea.

RP: You appear to be the only one who believes that.

AT: Ah, what do you know?

RP: You were the only one who showed up at your “protest”.

AT: Get out of my sight. I ain’t talkin’ to no more lazy press people.

RP: But…

AT: Get outa here before I find me another bow and shoot you too!

RhothSPIN Press does not deign to comment on the actions of its employees after such an obvious threat. Our readers will please note that any wishing to contact Arvin Tallus had better do so quickly. Soon after the end of his interview Arvin Tallus was whisked off to a waiting boat to become the first new workman in our great new land of Legos Minor. He will now be among those building our second city on our new continent. Such is the justice of The One.

You heard it here first folks!
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Old July 7, 2003, 19:41   #11
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Papal announcement: "Vatican will open its doors"

Santiago, 8 Juli 3878 (122 BC). By the Chief Secretary of the Church, Diego Fernandez.
This morning Pope Aidun I announced in a meeting with the cardinals and bishops of Spain that the Vatican will soon "open its doors". The Pope's policy is to expand the christian faith over the world. "It is our duty to teach other civilizations in this world about the greatness of the Lord Jesus Christ and spread his word over the world."

In the past the Church attempted to convert the people of Vox Controlli. Although the Voxians did not oppose the Christian faith and were willing to be converted into christians, the Estonian War disturbed this mission. Missionary bishop Winterius will be sent out on a second mission to contact the leaders of the greatest civilizations in the world. His task will be to get the approval of his mission by the nation's authorities and then start with converting people.

When the mission in a nation is completed, bishop Winterius will inform the Pope. The Pope will then appoint local cardinals and bishops. As soon as the conversion is completed, Aidun I wishes to hold the first Council in which the structure of the Church and the general policy will be discussed. The position of the Inquisition is one of the subjects on the agenda.
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Old July 8, 2003, 17:23   #12
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Stormian slavers tempt Voxians with promises of "head start in the Voxodus," alleges missionary
Roberto de la Civ says he was kidnapped from North Estonia and sold in Legoland

Five years ago, Roberto de la Civ, a Spanish "Paladin of the Church," was convicted by the Inquisition of murdering GodKing the Heretic and was exiled to Estonia, where he was to serve as a missionary for Spain's Catholic Church. Three days ago, however, he reappeared in Vigo after circling the world. He reportedly told the Pope, King Justino I of Spain, and the Duke of Vigo of his adventures and misadventures as soon as he arrived: "[I]t must have been at least two years ago, I cannot remember exactly. In a small town on the southern edge of North Estonia, I had gained quite a large number of converts. Then, one day, some Egyptians [Stormians] came. They said that they would take us to Carthage, or Legoland as they called it, and we could gain special positions and get a head start in setting up a settlement for the 'Voxodus.' The catch was that the first 3 months would be spent as indentured servants. Quite a few people of my town agreed to go, but I told all of the good Christians to stay, which was nearly 2/3rds of the town. Angrily, the Egyptians came to me and ordered me to go with them and take all of my followers with me, and they threatened to kill me if I refused. I had no choice but to accept. We got on several small galleys and set off eastward. When we finally arrived, it seemed that the Egyptians were honorable and would only have us work on their Carthaginian estates for 3 months. However, after the first month, some of us started to mysteriously disappear. I discovered that we were to be sold to Carthaginians as slaves. I did all I could to try to escape, but a week later, myself and two of my comrades were sold." He only escaped from Legoland by stowing away on a fishing boat going to the Glory of War.

In an interview with S.P.I.N. correspondant Jorge Madero, who incidentally played a crucial role in de la Civ's conviction, the missionary sent a warning to Voxians: "Do not trust any information about the voxodus thaat does not come from an official source. [Stormian] businessmen are doing all they can to take advantage of your deportation and will use treachery to enslave you. The Voxodus will not begin until [the Voice's] final surrender to [the Gathering Storm], and it will be run entirely by the [Stormian] government, not independent agents." He also called on the Gathering Storm to crack down on slavers and be kind to the Voxian people.

Regarding his experiences in Legoland, de la Civ only gave the followqing chilling description of the Legomen: "Their bodies are so rectangular, discreet, artificial! Their heads are yellow and cylindrical, and they can be easily screwed off and replaced! Their facial features are black and two dimensional! Most of them don't have hair, but instead a large circle protruding from their scalp that cna be used to connect them, glue them, to many different things! Their feet are similar devices, and their legs have very limited motion. And their hands, oh their hands! They are simply two flat, wide, unmaneuverable fingers connected by a smooth curve. And there are so many more details, too many to recount them all. Their buildings are made out of bright-colored blocks that they also call Legos; they do not distinguish themselves from buildings other than to call themselves Legomen when a distinction is required for practical purposes! They do not have free will, but rather work like bees, and most likely receive their instructions directly from the Devil himself! And everything, absolutely everything, has holes and circles that allow them to be connected to anything else."
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Old July 11, 2003, 15:26   #13
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I am now calling this first edition closed.

Thank you all for participating. Let's have fun with #2 as well.

Now, how to turn this into a newzupdate....
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