Prevelant problems within gay society? - Page 2

Sava · July 11, 2003, 22:52

muhahaha

mindseye · July 12, 2003, 07:02

I think the biggest problems are:

* Number One Problem: obsession with "fitness". Back in San Francisco, a lot of gay guys looked like cartoon bulldogs, with enormous, unnaturally disproportional chests and upper arms, the rest of their body normal sized. I knew of guys who were spending six or more hours a day in the gym (not to mention popping steroids) in order to get that look. Guys with "normal builds" (hello!) gradually faded into the fringes. This (IMO) bizarre look also includes shaving/waxing one's body hair, sometimes even forearm hair. Pubic hair gets a "crewcut". Don't believe me? Watch any mainstream gay porn from the last 3-5 years. See any chest hair? Untrimmed pubes?

I recall that during my last couple of years in SF, I had one date astonished that I hadn't cut off my pubic hair, another wouldn't date me unless I first told him my chest measurement, more than a few were aghast that I had no gym membership (in return I asked them if they had a library membership, of course they didn't).

I completely understand where this obsession came from (reaction to AIDS, extreme faddishness in the gay community stemming from outcasts' desire to belong, etc), nonetheless I think it's very unhealthy, not to mention an enormous waste of time and resources.

* Ageism - in San Francisco there is a club for "senior" gay citizens, it's called "G40+" as in, men over forty! In the 80s, older men were more stigmatized, called "trolls" and the like. It's getting better (now they are "polar bears" and "mature men"), but the obsession with youth is still an issue.

* Drugs/Alcoholism - getting better, but still too much, still too glamorized.

* Depersonalization of sex - let guys do whatever they want sexually, and some become compulsive sex addicts. For too many gay guys, sex is reduced to something like eating a candy bar. At its extremes, this devolves into highly risky activity such as "barebacking". For these guys, sex is a brief, physical thing, like shaking someone's hand. Foreplay? Romance? Eroticism? What are those? This may help explain why, in my experience, bisexual guys are usually better in bed than gay guys who have never been with a woman.

Solly · July 12, 2003, 08:30

Blaming any otherwise difficult-to-solve problems on homophobic society and straight people.

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 08:57

Oh, God I just got offered cash for sex from someone on gaydar. Methinks I'm worth more than £60! (I hope!)

Boris Godunov · July 12, 2003, 10:14

Tolerated racism is the big, unspoken bogeyman of the gay community, at least here in the U.S. Black gay men are treated like **** most of the time, while Hispanics and Asians are treated like fetish objects. The young, fit white guy golden boy is the ideal, and that's what everyone either clamors to be or get in the sack.

But the biggest worry, IMO, is the increasingly lax attitudes towards safe sex by the younger generation of gays. For some reason, the current 18-22 set is ignoring the health risks and having unprotected sex, which is causing the AIDS transmission rates to creep back up again among gays. Stupidity.

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 10:54

I've only ever had full sex with one person - who was my boyfriend and we were in a stable, monogamous relationship.

I just do things were there is no danger of transmission (if that's not too much information

)

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 10:55

I'd say biphobia is also a massive problem - gay and straight, people who are tolerant of gay people are intolerant of bi people. Go figure.

Solly · July 12, 2003, 10:56

Quote:

But the biggest worry, IMO, is the increasingly lax attitudes towards safe sex by the younger generation of gays. For some reason, the current 18-22 set is ignoring the health risks and having unprotected sex, which is causing the AIDS transmission rates to creep back up again among gays. Stupidity.

The cure is coming back?

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 10:59

Actually over here Bods more straight people are getting it now. What does that say about a cure?

Solly · July 12, 2003, 11:03

Not in relative terms.

Wittlich · July 12, 2003, 11:10

Quote:

Originally posted by red_jon
Oh, God I just got offered cash for sex from someone on gaydar. Methinks I'm worth more than £60! (I hope!)

But RJ, it's 60 Pounds (I don't have the Pound symbol on my keyboard

ops: that's tax-free!

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 11:11

Nope, not in relative terms. Do you honestly want gay people to die?

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 11:12

Lol, I tried to say no and he wound up offering me £90 for a Cash upfront! Very, very sad.

Wittlich · July 12, 2003, 11:14

RJ - You failed to mention if you accepted the 90-for-a-handjob or not.

red_jon · July 12, 2003, 11:16

Of course I didnt! LOL!

He just offered my friend James £50. I'm worth mooore. I'm worht mooore

Starchild · July 12, 2003, 11:24

Quote:

Originally posted by Boddington's

The cure is coming back?

Hope someone decides to cure you one day.

Jac de Molay · July 12, 2003, 11:24

I think the biggest problem with the gay community is that there not opening up and sharing the esoteric secrets of Tasteful Interior Decorating.

Especially for hopeless, straight guys like me.

Wittlich · July 12, 2003, 11:40

Point well taken Jac!

Boris Godunov · July 12, 2003, 16:27

Quote:

Originally posted by Jac de Molay
I think the biggest problem with the gay community is that there not opening up and sharing the esoteric secrets of Tasteful Interior Decorating.

Especially for hopeless, straight guys like me.

Lies.

http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/

(My roommate was a PA on this!)

Timexwatch · July 12, 2003, 17:20

I think the gay community's biggest problem is that they are always dressed better, showing me and every other straight guy up when I'm having a night on the town...

MrFun · July 12, 2003, 18:19

Quote:

Originally posted by mindseye
I think the biggest problems are:

* Number One Problem: obsession with "fitness". Back in San Francisco, a lot of gay guys looked like cartoon bulldogs, with enormous, unnaturally disproportional chests and upper arms, the rest of their body normal sized. I knew of guys who were spending six or more hours a day in the gym (not to mention popping steroids) in order to get that look. Guys with "normal builds" (hello!) gradually faded into the fringes. This (IMO) bizarre look also includes shaving/waxing one's body hair, sometimes even forearm hair. Pubic hair gets a "crewcut". Don't believe me? Watch any mainstream gay porn from the last 3-5 years. See any chest hair? Untrimmed pubes?

I recall that during my last couple of years in SF, I had one date astonished that I hadn't cut off my pubic hair, another wouldn't date me unless I first told him my chest measurement, more than a few were aghast that I had no gym membership (in return I asked them if they had a library membership, of course they didn't).

I completely understand where this obsession came from (reaction to AIDS, extreme faddishness in the gay community stemming from outcasts' desire to belong, etc), nonetheless I think it's very unhealthy, not to mention an enormous waste of time and resources.

* Ageism - in San Francisco there is a club for "senior" gay citizens, it's called "G40+" as in, men over forty! In the 80s, older men were more stigmatized, called "trolls" and the like. It's getting better (now they are "polar bears" and "mature men"), but the obsession with youth is still an issue.

* Drugs/Alcoholism - getting better, but still too much, still too glamorized.

* Depersonalization of sex - let guys do whatever they want sexually, and some become compulsive sex addicts. For too many gay guys, sex is reduced to something like eating a candy bar. At its extremes, this devolves into highly risky activity such as "barebacking". For these guys, sex is a brief, physical thing, like shaking someone's hand. Foreplay? Romance? Eroticism? What are those? This may help explain why, in my experience, bisexual guys are usually better in bed than gay guys who have never been with a woman.

Barebacking is something that needs to be frowned upon when it comes to casual sex.

And Boris Godunov, yeah -- unfortunately in the information age about AIDS, there are people who shut their eyes to ignore reality.

Zylka · July 12, 2003, 19:03

Oh yeah, amyl nitrite

There always seems to be one weirdo elementary teacher offering me poppers at club events

Agathon · July 12, 2003, 19:21

Isn't the biggest problem having Boris as their Apolyton spokesman? I mean homosexuals have enough problems in America without being tarred as subversive communist traitors.

Not that we in the CPA want him to change - we luv ya man.

MrFun · July 12, 2003, 19:31

Quote:

Originally posted by Agathon
Isn't the biggest problem having Boris as their Apolyton spokesman? I mean homosexuals have enough problems in America without being tarred as subversive communist traitors.

Not that we in the CPA want him to change - we luv ya man.

Got news for ya -- no gay guy on Apolyton is the group's spokesperson.

In fact, the words "gay community" might not make sense -- after all, we're an incredibly diverse minority group -- where would the cohesion be, other than our sexual orientation?

Agathon · July 12, 2003, 19:32

Quote:

Originally posted by MrFun

Got news for ya -- no gay guy on Apolyton is the group's spokesperson.

Lies!!!!

You are just annoyed 'cause he's the man.

SpencerH · July 12, 2003, 19:37

Quote:

Originally posted by mindseye
more than a few were aghast that I had no gym membership (in return I asked them if they had a library membership, of course they didn't

So its not just the hetero's that are shallow

SpencerH · July 12, 2003, 19:42

Quote:

Originally posted by Boris Godunov

But the biggest worry, IMO, is the increasingly lax attitudes towards safe sex by the younger generation of gays. For some reason, the current 18-22 set is ignoring the health risks and having unprotected sex, which is causing the AIDS transmission rates to creep back up again among gays. Stupidity.

Boris has hit the nail on the head, from my perspective as an STD researcher. I blame my collegues who have followed the lure of their 15 min of fame (with the promise of cures) rather than sticking with the hard facts of the matter.

Agathon · July 12, 2003, 19:44

Quote:

Originally posted by SpencerH

rather than sticking with the hard facts of the matter.

An unfortunate choice of words DYT?

SpencerH · July 12, 2003, 19:50

Only to your perverted mind

Agathon · July 12, 2003, 19:52

Quote:

Originally posted by SpencerH
Only to your perverted mind

You understood it, so you're no better.