July 15, 2003, 07:49
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#1
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Emperor
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Mafia Orders Hit on Cat
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Quote:
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MAFIA ORDERS HIT ON CAT (Sky)
The notoriously ruthless Russian mob is believed to have ordered a hit on a cat.
Rusik, Russia's only sniffer cat, was run over and killed by a car, the Daily Telegraph reports.
The feline crime-fighter had been the scourge of caviar smuggling gangs.
The cat was used by customs officials to sniff out sturgeon row concealed in cars at checkpoints on the lucrative smuggling route between the Caspian Sea and Moscow.
The Russian black market in caviar is estimated to be worth over £1bn and has provoked bloody feuds between powerful criminal gangs in the past.
It is believed that Rusik was targetted after his prowess was first made public last week.
Rusik had once discovered caviar in the car that hit him.
He first came into the possession of Russian customs officials last year when he wandered into a checkpoint as a stray kitten.
Police officer Sergei Kovalenko said his talent quickly became apparent: "One day Rusik just leapt into the boot of a passing car at the checkpoint and immediately sniffed out some sturgeon."
"After that, we decided to use him all the time."
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.... (UPI)
Rusik's demise was just the latest blow to Stavropol's crime-fighters. Another cat, Barsik, succumbed a few weeks ago after eating a poisoned mouse.
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R.I.P.
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July 15, 2003, 08:21
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#2
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Deity
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Russians are wierd.
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Rosbifs are destructive scum- Spiffor
I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
If government is big enough to give you everything you want, it is also big enough to take everything you have. - Gerald Ford
Blackwidow24 and FemmeAdonis fan club
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July 15, 2003, 08:26
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#3
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King
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This article is f*cking gold
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July 15, 2003, 10:00
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#4
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Emperor
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well, i suppose it's a bit easier to off a cat than a person.
besides, their knees are small.
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B♭3
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July 15, 2003, 10:03
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#5
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King
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I saw this in the paper. Cats should really be ruling humans you know.
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July 15, 2003, 11:37
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#6
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Emperor
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Quote:
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Cats should really be ruling humans you know.
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who says the aren't?
We feed them, and walk them and care for them, don't we?
(i saw this in a garfield cartoon feature)
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July 15, 2003, 11:43
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#7
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Emperor
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What's next, a bomb in the scratching post?
this just says: don;t mess with the Russian Mob, they are crazy enough to take out cats! (hasn;t this sort of thing beeen done to drug sniffing dogs?)
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If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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July 15, 2003, 11:55
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#8
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Emperor
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Sirotnikov
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Quote:
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Cats should really be ruling humans you know.
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who says the aren't?
We feed them, and walk them and care for them, don't we?
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Who the hell walks a cat?
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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July 15, 2003, 11:59
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#9
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Emperor
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More importantly, how the hell do you walk a cat? In my experience, once you put a leash on them, all you can do is drag a cat.
Why was the cat on a street someplace where he could be run over?
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Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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July 15, 2003, 12:04
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#10
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Emperor
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it's for people who really wanted dogs.
i wonder what peta will say about this?
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B♭3
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July 15, 2003, 12:07
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#11
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Prince
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July 15, 2003, 12:10
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#12
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Emperor
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I really like cats
But then again, caviar smuggling shouldn't be illegal, so I can see the smugglers' point.
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July 15, 2003, 12:11
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#13
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Emperor
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The reason caviar smuggling is illegal is because the beluga stugeon is an very endangered species. Or don't you believe in protecting endangered species?
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Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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July 15, 2003, 12:13
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#14
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Emperor
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I dunno. What do you think? 
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July 15, 2003, 12:22
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#15
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Emperor
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I say we intorduce DF to an endangared species of our choosing and allow them to debate the issue towards a full concluiosn. I say we chose a Siberian Tiger as the other participant.
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If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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July 15, 2003, 12:22
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#16
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Emperor
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If one person owned all the land in the world he'd have a perfect right to through the entire human species into the ocean and you'd be okay with that.
__________________
Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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July 15, 2003, 12:23
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#17
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Moderator
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Hmmm....well, that'd be one way to control population growth....
-=Vel=-
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The list of published books grows . If you're curious to see what sort of stories I weave out , head to Amazon.com and do an author search for "Christopher Hartpence ." Help support Candle'Bre , a game created by gamers FOR gamers. All proceeds from my published works go directly to the project .
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July 15, 2003, 12:24
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#18
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King
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What?
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July 15, 2003, 12:41
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#19
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Chieftain
Local Time: 23:42
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Quote:
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Originally posted by chegitz guevara
If one person owned all the land in the world he'd have a perfect right to through the entire human species into the ocean and you'd be okay with that.
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It happens anyway..............Ethnic Cleansing  ..............the common man is powerless to stop it at its onset. 
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July 15, 2003, 12:42
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#20
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Emperor
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Quote:
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If one person owned all the land in the world he'd have a perfect right to through the entire human species into the ocean and you'd be okay with that.
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Bullshit. Murder is wrong, even when done on your own property.
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July 15, 2003, 12:45
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#21
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Emperor
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So he'd have to allow people to use his property?
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Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...
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July 15, 2003, 12:48
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#22
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Emperor
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It wouldn't be murder. If they choose not to swim, that's their own fault.
[/Libertarian looney]
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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July 15, 2003, 20:18
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#23
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Emperor
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Quote:
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Originally posted by David Floyd
Bullshit. Murder is wrong, even when done on your own property.
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IIRC there was a time when you argued that you had the right to shoot police officers if they ever tried to come onto your property. Or was that just a lot of talk?
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Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, Chief. We are evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I'm surprised you didn't know that. --Saul Tigh
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July 15, 2003, 20:19
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#24
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Apolyton Grand Executioner
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Quote:
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Originally posted by David Floyd
I dunno. What do you think?
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So one private party has the right to wipe out a resource he doesn't own on property that's not his? Interesting interpretation. 
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When all else fails, blame brown people. | Hire a teen, while they still know it all.
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July 15, 2003, 21:22
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#25
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King
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I got two cats. One is very much a Dog-cat, he'll come when called, fetch, even walk with you (with a harness)
The other, B*tch Kitty from Hell, doesn't respond to any commands, whether they be " Come", "stop", "Mary stop it", "FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST STOP!"
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With such viral bias, you're opinion is thus rendered useless. -Shrapnel12, on my "bias" against the SS.
And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worth while, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: "I served in the United States Navy!"
"Well, the truth is, Brian, we can't solve global warming because I ****ing changed light bulbs in my house. It's because of something collective." --Barack Obama
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July 15, 2003, 21:31
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#26
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King
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Quote:
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Who the hell walks a cat?
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The Russians are very good at training cats. I've seen videos of trained Russky felines doing all sorts of tricks, jumping through hoops, walking tightropes, and the like. Must be a secret technology the USSR developed back when they were feverishly researching ESP during the Cold War. 
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July 15, 2003, 22:23
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#27
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PolyCast Thread Necromancer
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Quote:
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Originally posted by mindseye
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Who the hell walks a cat?
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The Russians are very good at training cats. I've seen videos of trained Russky felines doing all sorts of tricks, jumping through hoops, walking tightropes, and the like. Must be a secret technology the USSR developed back when they were feverishly researching ESP during the Cold War.
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Which is another reason Sloww should fear me.
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July 15, 2003, 22:25
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#28
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:42
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Posts: 3,554
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Who the hell walks a cat?
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My cat walks when she gets tired of being dragged...by her tail. 
Seriously, she gets plenty of exercise outdoors without the fuss of "taking her for walks."
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The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.
The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.
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July 15, 2003, 22:25
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#29
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Local Time: 01:42
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Quote:
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It wouldn't be murder. If they choose not to swim, that's their own fault.
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__________________
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:34-35 (NRSV)
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July 15, 2003, 22:41
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#30
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Emperor
Local Time: 22:42
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Lonestar
I got two cats. One is very much a Dog-cat, he'll come when called, fetch, even walk with you (with a harness)
The other, B*tch Kitty from Hell, doesn't respond to any commands, whether they be " Come", "stop", "Mary stop it", "FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST STOP!"
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My cat won't respond to "Samantha," "Sam," "Cat," "Kitty," or "Ouch!"
...But she responds to, "Stupid." 
Dumb cat... ...but I LOOOVE my pritty (sic) kitty. 
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The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.
The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.
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