August 16, 2003, 08:12
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#1
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
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Posts: 8,278
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Funniest mothy python thing?
So?
I can´t remember them all, but one of the greatest for me was "the funniest joke" used as a weapon in WWII
"All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital."
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Banana
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August 16, 2003, 08:17
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#2
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Prince
Local Time: 08:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: of the Spion Kop
Posts: 861
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The mountaineer with double vision who wanted to climb the twin peaks of Everest
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August 16, 2003, 08:36
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#3
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Settler
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Periphery
Posts: 12
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There's some many it's impossible to choose. Homicidal barber, argument clinic, the parrot, All-England summarising Proust contest...
Was the mountaineer sketch the one where a man was climbing on some street as a reporter interviewed him? That was hilarious!
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"Relax, pay your income tax!" - The Fast Show
"Once you discover white paint, you'll never wash your underwear again." - Conan O'Brien
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August 16, 2003, 09:35
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#4
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Prince
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Tory Party of 'Poly
Posts: 523
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The Crimson Permanent Assurance!
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eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias
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August 16, 2003, 09:36
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#5
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
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Posts: 8,278
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Spanish Inquisition was excellent too
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Banana
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August 16, 2003, 10:35
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#6
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Posts: 6,291
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The Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.
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August 16, 2003, 10:46
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#7
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Deity
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Republic of Flanders
Posts: 10,747
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#There’s a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right #
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August 16, 2003, 11:22
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#8
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Emperor
Local Time: 00:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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Advertising agency...
"And here you changed the name of 'Conquistador Instant Coffee' to 'Conquistador Instant Leprosy.' Why, Frog?"
"S. Frog, sir."
"Shut up."
Cheese shop!
"Yes, we do have Camembert, sir."
"Ah, excellent. Bring forth the fromage de la belle France posthaste."
"It's a bit runny, sir."
"Oh, that's okay, I like it runny."
"I think it's a bit runnier than you'd like."
"I don't care how ****ing runny it is, go get me the cheese."
"Oh, the cat's eaten it!"
And, of course, The Argument Clinic! My brother and I did that one in a high school talent show. Quite a hit!
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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August 16, 2003, 11:43
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#9
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,512
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What's the name of the "heyhey, nutchnutch" sketch? That one was great. Also loved the Disabled Olympics, philosophers soccer finals and the princess with the wooden teeth!
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"The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
"Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.
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August 16, 2003, 16:05
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#10
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Prince
Local Time: 02:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: People's Republic of the East Village
Posts: 603
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Cheese shop was great.
So was
Pepperpot #1: What do ya have there?
Pepperpot #2: It's a piston engine.
Pepperpot #1: How do you cook it.
Pepperpot #2: You don't cook a piston engine.
Pepperpot #1: I wouldn't fancy eating that raw!
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- "A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it still ain't a part number." - Ron Reynolds
- I went to Zanarkand, and all I got was this lousy aeon!
- "... over 10 members raised complaints about you... and jerk was one of the nicer things they called you" - Ming
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August 16, 2003, 16:47
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#11
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Emperor
Local Time: 00:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,412
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"What's that on the television?"
"Looks like a penguin!"
"What's it doing there?!"
"Standing!"
"I can see that! I meant where did it come from?"
"Probably the Antarctic!"
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Tutto nel mondo è burla
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August 16, 2003, 18:19
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#12
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Deity
Local Time: 00:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Bohol
Posts: 13,381
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Dead Parrot.
Honorable mention to the Chasm of Doom in The Holy Grail: "What is the air speed/wingspan ratio of a sparrow?" "What? An English sparrow or an African sparrow?" "Gee, I dunno. [BOOM] AaahhhhhHhhHhhHh!"
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August 16, 2003, 19:16
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#13
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
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Posts: 7,138
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There's the hide and seek olympic tournament. The british navy expedition to find a lake in someone's basement.
And the meaning of life IMO is highly under appriceated.
The first birth scene. The school sex education scene. The army scenes.
(from memory)
"Well my plan is to march back and forth accross this square. Is there anyone of you rookie maggots who has something better to do? Maybe someone has a more important issue he'd like to take care of?"
"Ahm... well... I have some tuba lessons I would like to practice, Sir"
"Really? And you would rather practice on your tuba, than march back and forth on this square with me?"
"Ahm... well... yes, Sir"
"Really? We'll go on then!"
"Sir?"
"Go! Now! Out of my sight! Go practice your tuba!"
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August 16, 2003, 19:48
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#14
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King
Local Time: 08:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Just one more thing
Posts: 1,733
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Self-defence against fresh fruit.
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August 16, 2003, 19:57
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#15
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Prince
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: of the Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium
Posts: 428
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Not necessarily my fave, but this has been in my mind lately:
"Hello, Mrs. Premise!"
"Oh, hello Mrs. Conclusion! Busy day?"
"I just spent 4 hours burying the cat."
"4 hours to bury a cat!?"
"Yes, he wouldn't keep still: wrigglin' about, 'owlin'..."
"Oh, it's not dead then."
"Oh no, no, but as we're goin' away for a fortnight I thought I'd better bury it just to be on the safe side."
"Quite right. You don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat, do you?"
"Yes..."
"We've decided to have the budgie put down."
"Ooh, is he very old then?"
"No, we just don't like it."
"How do they put budgies down?"
"Well, it's funny you should ask that. I've been reading a great big book on "How to Put Your Budgie Down", and evidentally you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them dead just above the beak."
"Mrs. Essence flushed hers down the loo."
"Ooh, that's dangerous! 'Cause they breed in the sewers. And eventually you get huge, evil smelling flocks of soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom."
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August 16, 2003, 20:28
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#16
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Settler
Local Time: 08:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 2
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German version of the lumberjack
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August 16, 2003, 20:59
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#17
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Emperor
Local Time: 01:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: of the Big Apple
Posts: 4,109
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Bruce's philosopher drinking song.
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If you don't like reality, change it! me
"Oh no! I am bested!" Drake :(
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire
"Patriotism is a pernecious, psychopathic form of idiocy" George Bernard Shaw
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August 17, 2003, 05:44
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#18
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,512
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There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
about the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
The constitutional peasant scene from Holy Grail and the Latin lesson in Life of Brian are my favorite movie scenes BTW.
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"The world is too small in Vorarlberg". Austrian ex-vice-chancellor Hubert Gorbach in a letter to Alistar [sic] Darling, looking for a job...
"Let me break this down for you, fresh from algebra II. A 95% chance to win 5 times means a (95*5) chance to win = 475% chance to win." Wiglaf, Court jester or hayseed, you judge.
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August 18, 2003, 05:22
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#19
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 7,138
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OH yes
How I laughed and laughed about the constitutional peasant
Of course, the "swedish moose" thing is rather good as well.
When I watched it in the cinema, the entire crowd was going wild, even before the movie started.
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August 18, 2003, 05:54
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#20
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Ivory tower
Posts: 3,511
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In life of brian when brian talks from his home to a huge crowd that think he's the messiah:
Brian: You're all different!
Crowd: Yes, we're all different!
Brian: You're all individuals!
Crowd: Yes we are all individuals
Man in crowd: I'm not!
... or something like that.
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"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
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August 18, 2003, 05:54
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#21
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Emperor
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Ivory tower
Posts: 3,511
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and it's not a good thing to make jokes about the swedish moose. Moose bites can be very dangerous you know...
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"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer
In GAIS we trust!
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August 18, 2003, 05:59
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#22
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King
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Gent
Posts: 1,428
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fish slapping dance ... :d
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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." -- Plato
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August 18, 2003, 06:43
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#23
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Warlord
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 219
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hehe the cat one made me laugh.
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August 18, 2003, 07:03
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#24
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Deity
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Republic of Flanders
Posts: 10,747
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"she turned me into a mute..."
"???"
"well..., Igot betta.."
__________________
#There’s a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right #
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August 18, 2003, 07:55
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#25
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King
Local Time: 10:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: the contradiction is filled with holes...
Posts: 1,398
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"It's just a fleshwound"
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I'm not a complete idiot: some parts are still missing.
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August 18, 2003, 16:02
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#26
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Emperor
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Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Aarhus, Denmark
Posts: 3,618
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For some reason, I like the knight who say "Ni", in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
I don't know why...they just crack me up.
Asmodean
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Im not sure what Baruk Khazad is , but if they speak Judeo-Dwarvish, that would be "blessed are the dwarves" - lord of the mark
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August 18, 2003, 16:08
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#27
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Prince
Local Time: 07:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Posts: 853
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"I work in IT so I'd be buggered without a computer" - Words of wisdom from Provost Harrison
"You can be wrong AND jewish" - Wiglaf :love:
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August 18, 2003, 16:13
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#28
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King
Local Time: 03:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Kabul, baby!
Posts: 2,876
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Soooo many good ones. But I have to go with...The Hungarian Phrasebook. "My nipples explode with delight!"
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"If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?"— George Carlin
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August 18, 2003, 16:21
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#29
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Deity
Local Time: 03:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Kneel before Grog!
Posts: 17,978
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"Oh, arguments is down the hall, this is abuse!"
-Arrian (who can't be arsed to reconstruct the scene itself, and hopes the last line will do)
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grog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.
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August 18, 2003, 16:26
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#30
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King
Local Time: 03:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,681
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For me it's a tie between the dead parrot and the cheese shop.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Customer: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
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