Thread Tools
Old September 28, 2003, 18:27   #1
DRoseDARs
lifer
Spore
Emperor
 
DRoseDARs's Avatar
 
Local Time: 02:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Reno, Nevada
Posts: 3,554
"Let the foul Deaf Spirits come OUT-tah...!"
Ernest Angley

My stepdad told me stories about this televangelist's antics over the years, even has an audio tape of one of his sillier sermons ("Can you say, 'Bay-bee?' Say, 'Bay-bee...'). A few days ago he rediscovered the comedy...on satellite. The freak is still ministering at Grace Catheldral in Akron, Ohio and milking thousands of gullible dipsh!ts for all they're worth. Canadians too!

He "heals" deafness, headaches, congestion, spinal injuries, A.I.D.S., retardation, bad eating habits, emphasima (sp?), jet lag, insomnia, legs that fall asleep, having too much money in your wallet...the list goes on and on.

Why after 25 or so years has this man never seen the inside of a prison cell?



Inspirational Quote of the Day:
Quote:
GOD ACCUSES YOU OF BLOODLESS PRAYER

"To you preachers, God sent this message: I accuse you of bloodless prayer." Not praying through the blood is bloodless praying. Never pray any other way than through the blood. Praying through the blood gets results. All power is in the blood; when you say, In the blood name of Jesus I come, immediately you are before the throne of God. Don't try to get a prayer through to heaven unless it's covered with the blood.

The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry (Psalm 34:15). God has perfect hearing; He hears you the moment you speak if you have a blood voice. What can wash away your sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make you whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Praise the Holy Lord God JEE-zus!
__________________
The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.
DRoseDARs is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 18:35   #2
SlowwHand
inmate
Civilization II MultiplayerApolytoners Hall of FameGameLeague
Deity
 
SlowwHand's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 27,637
This is the kind of whacko that pollutes people's minds against ALL religion, and he's just a huckster.
__________________
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
SlowwHand is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 18:36   #3
MrFun
Emperor
 
MrFun's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,595
Like I always say, fundies and other extremists will never represent the mainstream of any religion.
__________________
STFU and then GTFO!
MrFun is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 19:51   #4
Ben Kenobi
Civilization II Democracy GameCivilization II Succession GamesCivilization II Multiplayer
Emperor
 
Ben Kenobi's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 18,269
Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.
__________________
Scouse Git (2) LaFayette and Adam Smith you will be missed
"All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - JRR Tolkein
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Ben Kenobi is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 19:53   #5
mrmitchell
Civilization III Democracy GamePtWDG RoleplayCall to Power Democracy GameInterSite Democracy Game: Apolyton TeamNationStatesPtWDG2 Tabemono
King
 
mrmitchell's Avatar
 
Local Time: 03:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,394
Quote:
As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.
So if I prayed to him through precise vibrations of my wang that created inaudible sound waves in Morse code, would he hear me?

...At least, would he give me half credit for effort?

(no offense meant to anyone's religion )
__________________
meet the new boss, same as the old boss
mrmitchell is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 19:55   #6
Dr Strangelove
Apolytoners Hall of Fame
Emperor
 
Dr Strangelove's Avatar
 
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: USA
Posts: 3,197
What the heck is a blood prayer anyway?
__________________
"I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!
Dr Strangelove is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 19:55   #7
Kuciwalker
Deity
 
Kuciwalker's Avatar
 
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,822
Quote:
Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.
What if Jesus becomes deaf from all of the noise
__________________
[Obama] is either a troll or has no ****ing clue how government works - GePap
Later amendments to the Constitution don't supersede earlier amendments - GePap
Kuciwalker is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 20:01   #8
Ben Kenobi
Civilization II Democracy GameCivilization II Succession GamesCivilization II Multiplayer
Emperor
 
Ben Kenobi's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 18,269
Quote:
What if Jesus becomes deaf from all of the noise
Who says that he hears in the same way we do?

Quote:
So if I prayed to him through precise vibrations of my wang that created inaudible sound waves in Morse code, would he hear me?

...At least, would he give me half credit for effort?
Jiggling your w*ng requires effort for you?
__________________
Scouse Git (2) LaFayette and Adam Smith you will be missed
"All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - JRR Tolkein
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Ben Kenobi is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 20:02   #9
Kuciwalker
Deity
 
Kuciwalker's Avatar
 
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 21,822
Quote:
Who says that he hears in the same way we do?
Quote:
__________________
[Obama] is either a troll or has no ****ing clue how government works - GePap
Later amendments to the Constitution don't supersede earlier amendments - GePap
Kuciwalker is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 20:04   #10
Ben Kenobi
Civilization II Democracy GameCivilization II Succession GamesCivilization II Multiplayer
Emperor
 
Ben Kenobi's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 18,269
Eh, two birds with one stone.
__________________
Scouse Git (2) LaFayette and Adam Smith you will be missed
"All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - JRR Tolkein
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Ben Kenobi is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 20:50   #11
Theben
Deity
 
Theben's Avatar
 
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Posts: 15,132
"Don't try to get a prayer through to heaven unless it's covered with the blood."

This explains a lot of wars.
__________________
I'm consitently stupid- Japher
I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned
Theben is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 20:59   #12
MrFun
Emperor
 
MrFun's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Illinois
Posts: 8,595
Quote:
Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
Mr. Fun:

In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.

As for prayers 'in the blood' that's nonsense. Jesus hears all prayers regardless of how they are given.
No this is probably not a case of fundies -- but they are still extremists, and I mentioned extremists in my post, in addition to fundies.
__________________
STFU and then GTFO!
MrFun is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 21:39   #13
DRoseDARs
lifer
Spore
Emperor
 
DRoseDARs's Avatar
 
Local Time: 02:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Reno, Nevada
Posts: 3,554
Would ya'll like a link? Methinkso...

http://www.ernestangley.org/

The 'blood prayer' stuff can be found here:
Read Online->Magazines->2000->"Heaven Does Not Recognize A Bloodles Gospel" (October)

I was going to quip about crusades and swimming in the blood of thine enemies, amen, but this actually isn't what he meant (I think...nay, I hope...). Those wafers that some denomination eats are refered to as "the body of Christ," doesn't mean you're eating Him out. Red wine is "the blood of Christ," doesn't make you a vampire. Blood prayer seems to be along similar metaphoric lines.



If red wine is the blood of Christ and only through blood prayer will Jesus hear you, I'm guessing Ernest ("Hey Vern...!") wants us to pray only when we are incapable-of-coherent-thought drunk.
__________________
The cake is NOT a lie. It's so delicious and moist.

The Weighted Companion Cube is cheating on you, that slut.
DRoseDARs is offline  
Old September 28, 2003, 23:21   #14
Urban Ranger
NationStatesApolyton Storywriters' GuildNever Ending Stories
Deity
 
Urban Ranger's Avatar
 
Local Time: 17:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: May 1999
Location: The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
Posts: 14,606
Quote:
Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
In what way is this man a 'Fundamentalist?'

I see nothing relying upon a literal interpretation of scripture.
Faith healing is by definition fundamentalist behaviour.
__________________
(\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
(='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
(")_(") "Starting the fire from within."
Urban Ranger is offline  
Old September 29, 2003, 02:51   #15
Nubclear
NationStatesCall to Power II Democracy GameInterSite Democracy Game: Apolyton TeamRise of Nations MultiplayerACDG The Human HiveNever Ending StoriesACDG The Free DronesACDG The Cybernetic ConsciousnessGalCiv Apolyton EmpireACDG3 SpartansC4DG Team Alpha CentauriansCiv4 SP Democracy GameDiplomacyAlpha Centauri PBEMCivilization IV PBEMAlpha Centauri Democracy GameACDG Peace
PolyCast Thread Necromancer
 
Nubclear's Avatar
 
Local Time: 09:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: We are all Asher now.
Posts: 1,437
Always increase criticism of the illegal organization of Falun Gong to the highest level!!!!!

Nubclear is offline  
Old September 29, 2003, 02:56   #16
Ben Kenobi
Civilization II Democracy GameCivilization II Succession GamesCivilization II Multiplayer
Emperor
 
Ben Kenobi's Avatar
 
Local Time: 04:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 18,269
Quote:
Faith healing is by definition fundamentalist behaviour.


The only Christian that I know who has witnessed faith healing is a Catholic.

Faith healing has nothing to do with the strict sense of Fundamentalism, since it is a gift given freely to certain Christians regardless of the denomination.
__________________
Scouse Git (2) LaFayette and Adam Smith you will be missed
"All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady." - JRR Tolkein
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Ben Kenobi is offline  
Old September 29, 2003, 06:15   #17
Rufus T. Firefly
King
 
Rufus T. Firefly's Avatar
 
Local Time: 05:27
Local Date: November 2, 2010
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Kabul, baby!
Posts: 2,876
Omigod, I LOVE Ernest Angley. I watched him all the time as a kid, laughing my ass off as my Catholic parents worried about the pernicious influence of nutball Protestantism. I had completely forgotten about him until now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
__________________
"If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?"— George Carlin
Rufus T. Firefly is offline  
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:27.


Design by Vjacheslav Trushkin, color scheme by ColorizeIt!.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Apolyton Civilization Site | Copyright © The Apolyton Team