What's the worst thing, emotionally, that happened to you?

Urban Ranger · October 2, 2003, 11:49

Time to get sentimental. After all, it's autumn.

Long, long time ago, in a place far, far away (from where I am now), when I was a naive undergrad student, I met a lovely young woman. I fell head over heels for her, and the feeling seemed to be mutual, so soon we were an item. It was one of the happiest periods in my life, and it lasted almost 3 years.

At the end, I discovered she was having an affair with my roommate, who was my best friend at the time. Needless to say, it was a completely horrible, soul rending event that tossed me into a bottomless abyss. What made things worse was that was in the middle of finals of my senior year. I was not in any shape or form to do remotely well on the remaining exams. Fortunately I made it through. If I didn't, I probably would have flunked out. One of the happiest periods in my life ended in deep, deep, sorrow. It didn't only rip my heart out, but it put my heart through a meat grinder as well.

After I had left the place several years, a friend told me they got married.

Even today, a decade later, when a strange combination of external factors triggers my deeply buried memory of it, I would still get depressed. Like now

What about you? Has anything horrible like that happened to you?

MrFun · October 2, 2003, 11:51

I've already talked about my crisis that happened over two years ago . . .

no need for me to discuss it AGAIN.

SlowwHand · October 2, 2003, 11:51

When Ming or Michael ban me, or when RAH pulls my thread, it totally ****ing devastates me.

Urban Ranger · October 2, 2003, 11:53

Sloww,

I am not in a good mood now, please play somewhere else.

SlowwHand · October 2, 2003, 11:55

Jeez Ranger, what a grouch.

Theben · October 2, 2003, 11:57

I don't discuss my weaknesses with strangers.

As for you, UR, go do something you enjoy. Meet with friends (RL friends), go or a walk in the park, chat with your current SO (do you have one?).

It's been over ten years? GET OVER IT. We've all been burned one time or another.

Az · October 2, 2003, 11:58

UR: Did you cry? ( seriously)

DaShi · October 2, 2003, 12:19

I'm with Theben on this one. 10 years is a bloody long time pining for the one that got away. Your heart should me focused on your current dame. Hell, in the last few weeks I've been trodden over repeatedly by the woman I loved. But I realized she's crazy and have moved on. Last I heard, she wants to see me again. But now I've got a thing for the girl with the pretty eyes.

Japher · October 2, 2003, 12:27

"What's the worst thing, emotionally, that happened to you?"

I once spilt some milk

Quote:

Hell, in the last few weeks I've been trodden over repeatedly by the woman I loved

What happened DaShi? You get married?

Hey Ranger, wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but I can't... sorry.

If it were meant to be it would of been. You will find someone one day that will make all that hurt disappear, and the more you hurt now the better the soothing relief of young love will feel.

Also, you shouldn't feel so hurt because of this cheating whore and you jakcass of a "friend"... Betrayed? Yeah, but why let that get to you, there is nothing you can do about it now. It's over, and maybe this is why it wasn't to be, something out there (call it Karma) didn't want you to be with someone like that.

Urban Ranger · October 2, 2003, 12:58

Quote:

Originally posted by Theben
chat with your current SO (do you have one?).

She went away a few days on a conference.

Quote:

Originally posted by Theben
It's been over ten years? GET OVER IT.

I am over it. Mostly, like 99% of the time. It still comes back to haunt me once in a blue moon, though.

Quote:

Originally posted by Azazel
UR: Did you cry? ( seriously)

Just a few minutes ago? No, got my eyes red, though. Back then? Yeah, many times over. I even contemplated suicide. It was a bloody stupid thought looking back now.

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher
Yeah, but why let that get to you, there is nothing you can do about it now.

I am not Mr Spock, you know

Quote:

Originally posted by Japher
It's over, and maybe this is why it wasn't to be, something out there (call it Karma) didn't want you to be with someone like that.

That's an interesting angle to look at it. I have never thought about that before.

Az · October 2, 2003, 13:05

Quote:

Just a few minutes ago? No, got my eyes red, though. Back then? Yeah, many times over. I even contemplated suicide. It was a bloody stupid thought looking back now

By cry I meant then, and I meant a lot. So I guess the answer is 'yes'.

Q Classic · October 2, 2003, 13:11

depression.

nothing triggered it, so far as i can tell.

personality exacerbated it.

Urban Ranger · October 2, 2003, 13:14

Azazel,

That was my first girlfriend too. Very harsh.

Q Cubed,

Not depression. Depressed, you know, sad?

Az · October 2, 2003, 13:15

Quote:

Azazel,

That was my first girlfriend too. Very harsh.

ouch.

Urban Ranger · October 2, 2003, 13:21

Quote:

Originally posted by Azazel

Quote:

Azazel,

That was my first girlfriend too. Very harsh.

ouch.

Yup. That's why the memories are particularly deep.

Q Classic · October 2, 2003, 13:25

mm. if we exclude that, then probably realizing after the divorce that i wasn't worth fighting for or worth more than us$250 to my father.

Az · October 2, 2003, 13:29

I guess the time when my grandmother died. or when my cousin died. It wasn't like infinitly sad. The worst part is that I felt somewhat numb.

Ben Kenobi · October 2, 2003, 13:31

That sucks UR.

I remember my first girlfriend. I met her back home after my first year of university. I knew her in high school, but when I came back things seemed to click.

We had a wonderful summer together, and then I had to go back to uni again. Now that I look back on things, I did not really trust her to stay faithful to me while I was away. I told her that I would be there for her if she needed me, (just a call away,) and that if she met someone really nice, all she had to do was to tell me and I would understand.

It lasted until december, I even came back at Thanksgivings to visit her and my parents (usually too far away.) By December her calls started tapering off, and I figured something was up.

I waited until Christmas, when I got back home to confront her and on Boxing Day (because she didn't want to spoil my Christmas,

) she finally admitted to cheating on me for the past few months with a man she met in a bar.

I was a mess going back to school the next term, everything fell apart. I ended up switching my program and everything. I really cared about her, and yet I felt that I had no cause to be angry with her, so I just kept it down in myself.

I still think about her from time to time, especially when it rains. She always liked the rain better than the sun.

UR: Take care of yourself, and remember that had you hooked up with that girl, you never would have met your current SO. I think of that myself, and I realise just how much happier I am with my current girlfriend.

Az · October 2, 2003, 13:34

*Goes to play RR Tycoon 2 because this is Waaay too depressing.*

Datajack Franit · October 2, 2003, 13:38

About one year ago my mother snuffing in my personal belongings and reading my diary found out I'm gay- she told me she wish she had aborted me in the first place and that mentally disturbed beings should be confined in asylums, tortured with electic shocks and cold water in order to never get out- that was something very disturbing that definitely changed our relations, although her best way of asking sorry was pretending all of that never happened- how weird

Japher · October 2, 2003, 13:40

Quote:

she told me she wish she had aborted me in the first place and that mentally disturbed beings should be confined in asylums, tortured with electic shocks and cold water in order to never get out

Now that sucks.

Though this asylum sound rather nice

orange · October 2, 2003, 13:46

UR - I think I know how you feel. I've told about my ex on here before...but to reiterate...

First girlfriend was someone I became very good friends with in 10th grade...we were both quieter people so the fact that we clicked right away and had so much to talk about was amazing. We started dating that summer. 6 months into the relationship (on Christmas Day) I found out that she had cheated on me a few weeks into our relationship while on vacation. Her friend talked her into it being not such a bad thing...but she felt awful and couldn't face me with it (and it just happened to come out at the worst possible time)

Prior to that, I had always been very very trusting and not at all jealous. From then on, however, even though I forgave her, I became very jealous, overprotective, and doubting. I felt I couldn't trust her, even though I tried to. She didn't have many guy friends at all, so if she mentioned a guy or I saw her talking to a guy, my blood would boil with memories of how she had cheated on me and how awful the timing was when I had found out.

I didn't try to control her so much as I just let it eat away at me. It took me two years to fully forgive her in my mind, though in my heart I was always in love with her. She was the first girl I ever made love to, the first girl I ever kissed, my first girlfriend..my first everything really. There are a lot of strong emotional ties that I have to her because of these things.

So around the 3 year mark, things were looking pretty good from my point of view. We had come to the same University, I was beyond the jealousy and doubt that had been following me around for so long, and I felt very good about where we were at.

Unfortunately, she didn't. She was having some social issues and decided that she'd rather be single for a while to get her head on straight. I tried to be as supportive as possible, understanding her position (even though she started dating a guy, who she soon discovered way gay and in denial...he later came out). She seemed to have things straight, and we were on the verge of getting back together, when I discovered that she had been sleeping around with a guy that she just met despite telling me a lot about how much she was working at getting back together with me, and how I was the best thing about her life, etc. etc.

I couldn't take it when I found out (especially since she didn't tell me, I stumbled across it) and I had many flash backs to the feelings of being cheated on and how long it took me to trust her again - and now I was being made the fool again.

I didn't talk to her for the next 8 months, while she went through a lot of changes in personality (most of which were probably starting at the same time we weren't seeing each other) and dated the very guy that she had been sleeping with. He was (and is) an ******* who treated her like ****, made her to feel that she was worthless, cheated on her upwards of 10 times, and was ashamed to show her to his friends. Basically, he used her for sex...repeatedly. After she realized what a mistake she made, and broke it off with him (after 6 months of dating) she returned to me, hoping for my friendship and hopefully, after a while, my love.

I debated long and hard about whether or not I really wanted any of that, and decided I could at least be her friend. So that's sort of what we are now, but it's not easy. I don't respect who she is anymore, and she has a lot of issues...but I try to be a good friend. She still refers to me as the only good thing she really has in life, but I can't get over the fact that, if that were true, she'd put a lot more effort into setting things straight.

But it hurts like hell, and I think about it sometimes and it makes me very depressed. It's tough to forget your first, especially when they treat you so poorly

Ben Kenobi · October 2, 2003, 13:50

Quote:

She still refers to me as the only good thing she really has in life,

Trust me, best off that this not be true...

For all the good relationships bring, they cannot and should not be everything.

orange · October 2, 2003, 13:54

oh, i agree, and I feel sorry for her because of it.

She threw away a lot, not just me, and what did she get? Shitty friends that could care less about her, a sorority which only likes her to be at parties to get drunk, a boyfriend that treated her like gum on his shoe, and sub-par grades.

She used to be such a great girl, I loved and respected her so much...i wish I knew why she threw it all away :sigh:

Japher · October 2, 2003, 13:57

orange; where you dating my sister

Actually it does sound like her. Sheity friends because she would abandon her life for her man, Sheity grades because she would abandon her education for her man, Shiety man because she would let him walk all over her...

She actually married a good one though

, and I can at least be happy for that.

Ben speaks true, and if more people would enter relations with that in mind the break ups would be a lot easier... and happiness found a lot quicker.

orange · October 2, 2003, 14:03

the way she described her rather awful relationship with her exboyfriend is that she kept trying to get him to like her.

What the hell kind of relationship is that?? Why on earth would you want to sleep with someone when they don't even like you??

That's what's known as being a *** dumpster.