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Old October 21, 2003, 20:14   #1
joe08536
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Sorry,
Actually, I stole large parts of my style from other writers, I've been reading alot - in the last year or so of historical figures writing stuff in their own words or stuff in that vein. I actually kind of like the style myself since you get the feeling, when it's done right, that you're getting the inner recollection of some of these characters. Otto Von Bismarck or Minister of War Von Moltke the Elder (WWI dudes), or perhaps my personal favorite is Marcus Aurelius, 2000 years old ( and it definitely shows) but you get the distinct feeling that he would have much rather been doing just about anything but be emperor some times.

You see this sort of stuff alot in autobiographies unless of course you are Bob Dole (US Senator) who uses the third person to refer to himself. "...Bob Dole thinks Bob Dole's a pretty cool guy..." - Bob Dole ca. 1996", its not great rhetoric and it doesn't really work from a writing perspective either but for better or worse, he's a real enough politician.

So basically joe08536's goal is to be better than Bob Dole in joe08536's writing style. I'm hoping I succeed.
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Old October 21, 2003, 22:47   #2
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Old October 23, 2003, 17:45   #3
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Dont worry so much Joe, like you said in your story thread you posted when tired and then tried to correct things when even more tired.

Typing is nigh on impossible to carry out perfectly when youre tired, I find it difficult enough when Im fresh and alert

You are doing a good job with the story, it was just the post you made when tired that got a little muddled.
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Old October 26, 2003, 17:37   #4
joe08536
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Mfecane
1350 bc - At long last the Army has reached the 1st of the remaining cities of the Zulu’s. We will see if Trajan's Army is as great as it is though.

The foreign minister troubles me with the last request he made. It appears that if we make peace with the Zulu's at this time, we will gain both Ceremonial Burial and Bronze Working. As we were on Imperial Business in our newest city, and I was so incensed was I at this demand I went to the public forum and called upon the citizens of Epictitus to hear my words, I informed them that we have not been at war for over 1000 years against the hated Zulus to at the brink of final victory accept something less. No matter that the Zulus have discovered a generosity among the ruins of their cities. No matter that the Zulu's have the keys to heaven and are "willing" to share, They can have their peace and it shall be the peace of unburied dead..

Private Memoir – Joseph of Aurelius


My men and I met up with the Caravan about ½ way between Great Zimbabwe and The grasslands of
Qwabe and of Bulawayo which have been all but depleted and our soldiers marched onward still, This was the time when I realized the Mfecane [Crushing] could no longer be denied. Emperor Shaka had made his way to the area of Bapedi but even there, trouble was to be had, The elite Induna, Sangoma the Great, has made a safe passage to our new capital possible. However, the deprivations of the Siege of Zimbabwe by the evil Atlantemen has taken it’s toll on even the Royal Caravan itself, The Great Queen Nandi, mother to both Great Shaka and myself is very ill and we know only that when one so old as her gets the Tze-Tze Sickness certain death is soon to follow. Her sickness is causing another kind of Mfecane in Shaka himself; her loss may be as devastating to him and our people as that of Great Zimbabwe itself. It is most disturbing to see Great Shaka this way.

Great Indune Dingane, Governor of Baepedi, Half-Brother of Emperor Shaka of The Zulu
The Mfecane, Dioclesian Press , Volume I

The Forces of the Archers of Zulu have made for a great victory this day, the vile Atlantemen were approaching the City of Baepedi itself and a great victory was had. There were many who were of the enemy who had suffered at the tips of the spears of the fiercest warrior Impi of Induna Mbopa, but alas his soul while defeated in the most honorable way, was avenged this day. Induna Mpande, has risen from an elite Archer, to become the 1st Hero of the Zulu’s, Our Empire will not perish so easily from this land as the Atlantemen would like, This will an unpleasant surprise for the the devil men when they come.

Governor Dingane
The Mfecane, Volume II


“For I have lived one breath longer than thee, and that is all that mattered.”

The victories at the Cities of Ulundi and most recently Isandhlwana are to the greater glory of the Army. Our troops although, need rest are the Isandhlwana Campaign especially made all but a few of my men unfit for further combat. Resting in the ruins of our dead enemies should be consolation enough. We will march victorious into Baepedi Itself.

It was not without some irony that the troops of the Siege at Baepedi, starving and injured allowed the Zulu’s to attack and create a Zulu Hero! Intelligence reports have been carefully filtered so as not to alarm the officers and troops of an enemy Hero but I rapidly reach my true destiny. For it was in the Palace where I thought my future lay, It is amongst the fields of war that I was born, of fire and fortune. It is there that I must have my victory. I have made the fastest pace possible there to Baepedi.

Personal Memoir - Trajan,
1st General of Atlantis, [Penned during the Siege of Baepedi, Shortly before the Fall of Baepedi]


Shortly after the death of the Great Queen Nwandi, Emperor Shaka, my own half brother has become quite insane I think. He has ordered the creation of the Great Army with Induna Mpande at it’s head, but then wishes to talk peace with the Atlantemen. If there be a method to his madness, it escapes my feeble mind, I see no genius in the bloodletting at the Palace. The Former Governor of Isandhlwana and my dear brother Mhlangana who had escaped only days ago was found dead in his chambers this morning. There have been reports of madmen stealing into homes and killing children and any who are happy and not mournful. One of these madmen was caught and threw himself upon a guards spear rather than confess to the Induna who caught him. I do not rejoice with our new Army, and I do not mourn the loss of my family, for I think I will almost be happy when the Atlantemen come to kill me.

Final Entry
Former Governor Dingane
The Mfecane, Volume II


The last of the Zulu cities, Baepedi, it was there against the highest of improbabilities, that I felt Destiny befall my men and myself. As an elite corps, as we lay siege to the city itself, I ordered the men to attack one last time against the dreaded Impi Warlord we had come to know as death incarnate, it was this General Mpande, who came from behind the wall with 2 groups of Impi fighting in harmony. In their majesty , it was the most horrible sight I have ever seen. We did not have a single chance against them but somehow, the fates preserved me and my men. The stench of death hung over the whole of the city but it was our forces who were victorious when the last man was killed that day.

It was then that I would realize the power that soldiers possessed in their hearts. Every soldier Atlantean and Zulu had their hearts, their conviction and honor torn and tested that day. The Zulu’s fought to the last man, such ferocity has never been witnessed in all of history, I think. It is only by the luck of the blade and the fates that we survived.

The elite first two Archer groups were utterly destroyed by the Army of the Zulu’s, and then a Warrior contingent [one of the most venerable and elite of their kind] was destroyed to a man. It is only on the corpses of these dead that my soldiers, some not more than boys fought. The Archers offered volley after volley of return fire to the already weakened Army of Mpande slowly died and even then, in grandeur. It is only by the complete sacrifice and dedication of the best of the young men of Atlantis that our lives were preserved.

My Emperor, I am yours to command, In the best interests of the State, I as the Hero of Baepedi am returning to Aurelius as your loyal servant. I am indebted to the honored dead here at the grounds of the city that Atlantis has found the Victory she so richly deserves. May her blessings shine upon this land forever!

Your Servant at Arms, Hadrian

“A knife must be brought to the eye of the people from time to time, for them to see the danger before them. The danger of course, is not the knife but the will of those who bear it.”

The fates have cursed my very existence; I can find no solace anywhere but in the heat of battle and now this death, this peace is upon us. Where upon this miserable spit of earth and sea in the vastness of the night and day might I find my best destiny.

- The Secret Memorandi of Trajan
Recovered from under the Crucible of Heros


Senior Courier Naurendra, sped along in his wagon carriage, Iittle more than a ½ way through the vineyards on the outskirts of Aurelius. The roads have much improved since I had to run them so many years ago it seems. In all his travels for the Court and the Emperor and the Governors he had seen the worst and the best of things – he had thought. He had been at the Siege of Zimbabwe, Seen the peaks of the Diamond Mountains and even was able to obtain some for his family and his couriers. It was during one night on the way back from Zimbabwe that they rested by a stream and he saw the glittering in the moonlight, and all those with him, had their share. And now he was a man on one of his last missions, carrying certainly the best news of his career.

Imperial Grounds Master Thallia had "retired" but still spend considerable time in the Gardens. Although his hands were infirmed and could get quite sore he still loved the rock garden, he still loved to sit in the shade. His duties were less gardening and more “tending” these days anyway. His apprentices all saw past his stern exterior and regarded the old man with nearly a love, that of a grandfather or a wise old uncle.

When Courier Naurendra turned the final corner towards the Palace , He saw the Praetorians and knew there were serious things afoot. He had heard that since the second siege of Babylon, the Emperor held a small contingent of Honor Guard whom were from the elite ranks of the Army, and these were them. Two guarded the gate to the side entrance where he [Naurendra] had gone so many years ago. He motioned for the driver to slow the Wagon and bring him around to the entrance and follow him once the horses and wagon were stabled.

When he walked but a few feet into the garden he saw Thallia, but did not recognize him immediately. The old Groundskeeper was a full 6 inches shorter than when he had seen the courier last and wore an impish grin as he turned from his beloved flowers towards the gate.

As he approached he scowelled a bit and squinted, then his whole expression changed to one of happiness at seeing his old friend. Over the years they had many messages back and forth and had met on occasions of the bureaucracy which had grown up around the Palace. The two men sat down together for a moment as they turned towards the wall.

Said Thallia, “Your’re looking quite well I must say….The new horses and wagons and such have certainly made things different around here. And for you as well I imagine…”, Turning then to look upwards at the Courier, and then returning his gaze slightly. "And they would seem to suit you as I could hardly imagine you running as it was back in the day", saying in a jibe to Naurendra's paunch belly.

Naurendra paused then and smiled, turned to him whispering, “Old friend, I bear good news, I think, I was summoned from the Governors palace at Fortuna and sent here with this message, [turning and raising his arm to reveal a scroll with the Imperial Glyph]. The original courier was one of my fastest and he was nearly dead upon arriving at my steps, his face betrayed the message he bore as, though even as he lay gasping and clutching his chest, he had a grin which would not go away.”

Saying no more he handed Thallia the scroll, which he scrutinized carefully in the evening’s fading sun, Turning towards Naurendra for a moment he said “Old Friend, Say no more, I’ll be back and then we’ll get you a decent meal for you and your driver”, disappearing then through an alcove and to a window where a gloved hand took the scroll.”

It was the last of the war correspondence the two men would ever handle, The war with the Zulus’ was over.
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Old October 26, 2003, 17:48   #5
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Very nice, joe, though shouldn't this be in the story thread, not the sorry thread?
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