This page is "Family-Friendly." This means it contains no offensive content. As a matter of fact, it contains no content whatsoever. That's why it's called...
maintained by Chris Street
The Completely Content-less Web Page!
Note that this page is polite. It warns you, up-front, that it has no content. You will glean no useful tidbits of information or find a gem of trivial minutae here. This page is not interested in intricacy; it's merely interested in rambling, and saying an awful lot without saying anything. You may leave and not waste your time, or you may stay and bask in the glow of small-chat in print.
Yes, if the Internet keeps going the way it's going, every page will look something like this. How many times have you gone to a Web page, and found that it contains nothing but useless garbage?
More and more, the Information Superhighway starts to look like a social coffee-house, where chit-chat rules the day. Being less puritan and less dedicated to the idea of utter conceptual nihilism, however, these other pages will doubtless dress themselves up with stuff like pictures, or a funny font, or even a colored background. But the information content lent is still minimal - and you will still leave the page wondering why anybody even bothered.
Note the extensive use of horizontal rules to give the illusion that this page has some kind of organization. There is no organization, because there is no content. Learn this trick well; when you design your own content-less Web page, you will want many, many rules, indeed, a plethora of rules. Rules here, rules there. Maybe even a couple horizontal rules in a row, like this:
And since nobody will notice, you can even
break up a sentence, like that.
This page, if nothing is done, is the shape of things to come. Let me demonstrate the horror that will overcome the Web if this plague, this cancer, is allowed to spread. This is the dialogue that will, in one incarnation or another, rear its ugly head everywhere:
Hello! Do you like dogs? How about toaster pastries? Isn't it terrible when you rub a sweater against a brick wall, and you get shocked by static electricity? I will now sing for you: la la la, la la la. There; wasn't that edifying?
Beware, lest the Internet be stifled by content-less Web pages! You have been warned.
This page was created on 18 Jan 1998.
What is there to update?