Hypnotize Your Dog

For science reasons I'm using my two pet dogs, Lance a dobbie-mutt and Fred a golden ret-mutt.

Lance and Fred will assist me in showing the world how easily one can learn to hypnotize.

Step 1:

The first step you must take is convince your pet to sit/lay on a hypnotizers bean stuffing bag. You can order a bean stuffing bag at any Hypnotizer shop located at thousands of diffrent locations..

Step 2:

The second step is, wait till the pet is drozy enough to put up with almost anything you can dish out.

Step 3:

The third step is to place the palm of your left hand on the center of the pets forhead. Place your fingers with the tips pointing toward the pet's eyes. Curl your fingers inward.


Do not push your finger into the pet's eye sockets, this may cause blindness.

Step 4:

The fourth step, is rub the pet's forhead five times, no more no less, in a circular motion pressing the pressure points in the pet's head.... If you do not know your pet's pressure points you can buy a book at the hypnotizer shop at a small cost.

Step 5:

In the fifth step you repeat step 4 except that you reverse directions and add a little more pressure.


Do not add to much pressure or the pet may not survive this experiment.


Steps 4-5 until pet falls into a trance, falls asleep, passes out or dies.

Step 6:

In step six (this is the fun part) in as sweet a voice as you can muster tell the pet what you wish it to do. In my example I told Lance to run until he dropped and all the while attack anything that crossed his path.

All the while I had Fred drink himself into a stupor and then just before he couldn't walk without assistance I told him to run straight into the ocean.

Step 7:

For step seven all you can do is sit back and watch you pet make a total fool of himself/herself.

Step 8:

In the eighth step you should realize that you've gotten sick of watching your pet accting totally stupid and wish him/her to turn back into his/her old self.

Step 9:

The nineth step is to face the fact that the scientist that discovered this trance technique died before he finished his research. This means that your and my pets can never change back to their old selves and I hope that you learned a very valuable lesson from all this:

Read Directions Before Preforming Other Peoples Research!

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for your pet losing any or all of his/her personalite. I am not responsible for the death of Doctor and felow scientist Mr. Dobbiewhack. And most of all I wish to send my regrets to both my lab pets that proved this theroy to be true, I just wish they could be here to celebrate in the glory with me and the rest of my team......*sniffles*
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